Ex boyfriend's Facebook profile picture is a picture of both of us????

[rollingalong]

My boyfriend (now ex-boyfriend) broke up with me a little over a week ago. He has a picture of both of us set as his profile picture. He broke up with me over the phone during a heated conversation. Said we both don't seem happy, so he decided to break up with me, rather than make it a mutual thing. I went along with it and told him I felt the same way. He later seemed to regret it and said we would talk in a few days to see how we feel. I know I didn't help in preventing this as I was making comments that this relationship wasn't working. We continued talking and it just made things worse. I asked that he remove our picture off of his facebook, but he still has not. He still has us up as being in a relationship as well. He told me he would "love" to remove it when I asked him too. I removed him from my friends list right away as I was upset. There has been a lot of tension as I will be moving away in a few months to pursue furthering my education.

 

We were together for a year. We both truly care a lot about one another. He constantly talked about proposing, but I always tried to put it off as there is too much going on. He is horrible at communicating and always seems to run away. Don't know what to think of this??? I check his facebook everytime I log into mine and I hate that I do it because I know it's going to sting when he actually does remove it.

 

Any opinions?? Experiences?

[sand dollar]

Honest communication. It isn't necessary to put ALL your cards on the table, but you have to put some of them down. If it were I, I wouldn't want you to say htings you weren't comfortable saying,but just enough to clear the air.Talking things out always makes it better I think.

 

I'll put up some lyrics to one of my favorite songs that says a lot!!!!

 

"Come Talk To Me"

 

The wretched desert takes its form, the jackal proud and tight

In search of you I feel my way though the slowest heaving night

Whatever fear invents, I swear it make no sense

I reach out through the border fence

Come down, come talk to me

 

In the swirling, curling storm of desire unuttered words hold fast

With reptile tongue, the lightning lashes towers built to last

Darkness creeps in like a thief and offers no relief

Why are you shaking like a leaf

Come on, come talk to me

 

Ah please talk to me

Won't you please talk to me

We can unlock this misery

Come on, come talk to me

 

I did not come to steal

This all is so unreal

Can't you show me how you feel now

Come on, come talk to me

Come talk to me [x2]

 

The earthly power sucks shadowed milk from sleepy tears undone

From nippled skin as smooth as silk the bugles blown as one

You lie there with your eyes half closed like there's no one there at all

There's a tension pulling on your face

Come on, come talk to me

 

Won't you please talk to me

If you'd just talk to me

Unblock this misery

If you'd only talk to me

 

Don't you ever change your mind

Now your future's so defined

And you act so deaf and blind

Come on, come talk to me

Come talk to me [x2]

 

I can imagine the moment

Breaking out through the silence

All the things that we both might say

And the heart it will not be denied

Till we're both on the same damn side

All the barriers blown away

 

I said please talk to me

Won't you please come talk to me

Just like it used to be

Come on, come talk to me

I did not come to steal

This all is so unreal

Can you show me how you feel now

Come on, come talk to me

Come talk to me [x2]

 

I said please talk to me

If you'd just talk to me

Unblock this misery

If you'd only talk to me

 

Don't you ever change your mind

Now your future's so defined

And you act so deaf and blind

(And you act so deaf so blind)

Come on, come talk to me

Come talk to me [x2]

[sand dollar]

Sorry if I'm being over dramatic with the lyrics and everything. I used to love that song. I am at work and have to run. I'll post later! Good luck!!!!

[rollingalong]

Wasn't expecting a song, but I sometime's wonder if maybe that's how he's feeling. I sorta feel that we both just want to hear from the other that we don't want to give up on this. I'm a very independent person and he was very needy. I pushed him away, and then he slowly started drifting away, giving me space. Then when he did that, I started wondering what was going on. Guess I need to post my story on here to get opinions on that.

 

What about the facebook thing?? I'm confused about that. I know it's just facebook, but I figured he would've taken that down and changed his status by now.

[sand dollar]

As far as the facebook thing goes, it may be that he hasn't fully moved on. Or he could be negligent about changing things . You would know him best. ell us youir story. Then I can have a clearer picture. I uderstand about him being needy. I can be that way myself and also the opposite. I can go from intense contact to none at all. Or from needing someone to never talking to them again. I have very little middle ground with friendships and relatioships. I'm a person of extremes.I have great strength and vulnerability. Thats one of the reasons Ive avoided relationships,lol. I'm a paradox like most people are. Was he like that too?

[Enn]

My ex, after putting a lot of pictures of himself looking sad on Facebook at midnight on Monday, followed it by putting up a picture of more or less the moment we met. I wouldn't have known about it had not he befriended a couple of my friends, because I have deliberately 'disappeared' from Facebook since he broke us up. (I've now blocked him - I so wish my friends would do the same).

 

He has now (after a series of long emails about how sad he is and attempts to get to me via my friends when I didn't respond) made it clear he doesn't want more than friendship. And by God, he's desperate to have that friendship! It's painful. Leave him to it. No Contact - the only way. Don't try and read into ANYTHING, it just causes pain. If he wants you he will do more than this annoying, passive aggressive stuff.

[rollingalong]

He was really close to me at first, but I pushed him away as I am a pretty independent person. A few months ago we had our first big argument. He started raising his voice, said he was done. No talk on the way home. No contact for a week. I didn't call text nothing, and he came back asking if I was happy. He always denied that it was a break up, but a time to cool off. He sorta was a bit distant after that. Trying to gauge where we were. We gave eachother more space, but it felt different. I didn't feel secure in the relationship anymore. This time around it was a definite breakup over the phone. We haven't spoken since that talk. I told him I couldn't believe we were doing this over the phone while I'm on vacation. He initiated it when I said a few thing he didn't like. He has A LOT of pride and quite an inflated ego! He told me in that conversation that I make him say these things. I said I didn't and that if he said it, he must've been thinking about it. Then I told him I was thinking the same way. Now I feel blah. Woke up today so upset. Been crying every night as we would talk every night. I didn't yesterday, only to wake up sorta freaking out about him possibly being with someone new. I hate that I think so much. So of course I go check the facebook again, and there we are.

 

I will try to post my story sometime soon. It would be too long to post here and I would like to make it an official thread to get more opinions.

[rollingalong]

He broke up with me.......was all over the place in his conversation. At the end started singing like he did when we first started talking, which he mentioned while doing so. Don't know what to think of that. It almost seemed like a joke.

[rollingalong]

Anyone else have any opinions on this. He still has us up as in a relationship and my picture is still set as his profile pic. I asked that he remove it when we broke up and he said he would. I deleted him right away!!

[sharky988]

He broke up with you in real life.... which is what really matters.

 

As far as Facebook goes, as soon as you change your status to "single" it gets blasted to everyone you know in their newsfeeds..... he probably isn't looking forward to the barrage of messages that will follow. Changing the profile pic is similar -- it's a very public statement.

 

I'd assume he's not changing these things to avoid all the comments he's going to get about it. Just block him for your own sanity, and then it won't matter to you what his profile pics are or anything else he posts on Facebook!

[rollingalong]

I removed him from my profile. It bothers me as I asked that he take that all down and he still has not done so. He seemed to regret saying we should break up as he said

that "I make him say these things". I checked it earlier and it was still up. I know I will be burned soon enough, but it's bothering me.

[sharky988]

I removed him from my profile. It bothers me as I asked that he take that all down and he still has not done so. He seemed to regret saying we should break up as he said

that "I make him say these things". I checked it earlier and it was still up. I know I will be burned soon enough, but it's bothering me.

 

Block him! Then you won't know what he does or doesn't do. You're reading into what he's doing, it's not doing you any good.

[LovesOnlyOne]

He's probably hurting, just like you, I think it shows maturity that he didnt run and delete everything on Facebook. He will soon enough.

[rollingalong]

He actually isn't that mature for his age. He ran away for a week during an argument we had. He broke up with me during this last argument. He runs away when things are hard. He just reacts, that is why I don't understand the facebook thing. I asked that he remove it and he said he would love to. Still hasn't. I don't know if he's using it as a way to annoy me or what.

[Tanzi]

Anyone else have any opinions on this. He still has us up as in a relationship and my picture is still set as his profile pic. I asked that he remove it when we broke up and he said he would. I deleted him right away!!

 

When I saw the title of this thread I assumed in would be relating to a relationship that had broken up some months ago and that the ex had recently put this picture up. I was surprised when I read that the relationship only ended a week ago (or there abouts) and the picture was an existing profile picture that simply hadn't been changed.

 

Maybe he isn't ready to change it just yet. It may make the BU seem too real. Maybe he isn't ready to make it public knowledge. Maybe he hasn't gotten around to it yet or maybe he has been avoiding facebook since the BU. Maybe he didn't want to create drama. It could be anything ... the point is, it's only been just over a week and I suspect he is confused as to where things are going just as much as you are. Time will give more clarity to the situation but, for now, I wouldn't read too much into his profile picture.

[rollingalong]

It's been almost three weeks........still says we're in a relationship as well. He is no longer my facebook friend as I still feel like I'm in high school haha

[Tanzi]

It's been almost three weeks........still says we're in a relationship as well. He is no longer my facebook friend as I still feel like I'm in high school haha

 

Ah OK. Well it is still early days. I have been broken up with my ex for over 4 months now and a few weeks back he changed his profile picture to one of him and my youngest daughter. It was one I had taken of them on a day out. I know he misses us ALL but I know this gesture isn't going to change our situation.

 

Maybe your ex has been avoiding Facebook.

 

I deleted my ex immediately too. It really is the best way. I have not been tempted to look at his profile (he asked my permission to use the picture) as I know how easy it is to analyse things that don't always mean anything.

[rollingalong]

It's really starting to bother me. I don't want my pictures up there. He broke it off during and argument and was acting like such a jerk when he did it. It still says "In a relationship". I sorta think he's doing it because I asked that he take it down during that conversation, so he's acting like he doesn't care what I want him to do, another part of me is thinking that he's doing it because he wants to act all nonchalant about it when his coworkers approach him about it. I can't help but check it every now and again.