tempted to go astray...

[thejeic]

could you all just give some thoughts or point me to some other threads about being attracted to your partner's best friend? i know for a fact that the best friend is really attracted to me too, so this is really getting to me... anyways... just any thoughts would be helpful

[tea]

Are you married? If not, dumb your partner and go out with your partner's friend.

 

If you're married? Stay away from your partners best friend and only talk to him or her in your partner's presense.

 

We're intelligent beings. We don't have to act on all of our desires. We have a brain that's meant to be used and sometimes our brains help keeping us away from desires that shouldn't be there.

 

I greatly desire the star of africa too... I don't steal it.

[defygravity]

If you care more about the best friend than your boyfriend now, it's unfair to stay in the relationship you're in now...

 

But a warning....

 

I have broken up a relationship because I had more feelings about this guy's best friend...it ruined their friendship and caused a great deal of tension in their group of friends...I was with the second guy for aawhile and things were going great but he ended up breaking up with me because my ex (his best friend) told him to pick one of us...luckily the second guy and I are still good friends....however it could ruin their friendship and maybe your future relationship...however the best friend and I did jump into things rather quickly....

 

Just be careful....

[EYESWIDESHUT]

i hate to say it, but the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. If you are unhappy with your current relationship then end it, but don't do it for somebody else, especially the best friend. you would be opening up a whole can of "Jerry Springer" worms. It could just be lust for something that you can't have. Or it could be real. Either way, i would not end the relationship that you are in for the soul purpose of being with the other person. If you end the relationship, take time and move slow and get to know the other person more. but going for the best friend is always dangerous territory. Good luck in your choice.

[GettingOverIt]

I agree with EWS, never leave someone for someone else... The 'someone else' may do the same to you, or you may discover the grass isn't greener.... If you are going to leave a relationship, do it because of how you feel in and about that relationship.

 

And be sure the old relationship is over and done with before moving on to another... There are too many 'loose ends' that can really trip you up if everything is not over in the old relationship.

 

I have made many mistakes over the past little while, and not completely ending one relationship before considering another was one of them.... The consequences can be more than you ever imagined (or, well, they have been for me).

[BadMadame]

It doesn't look good to jump from one guy to another. You have to ask yourself what causes you and your current one unhappy. Is there any way to solve the problem(s)? Are you sure you "in love" with the third one? What would the third one feel if you leave your boyfriend for him? I would be hesitate to date you because I'm not sure this story might happen to me someday.

 

In your case, it is very difficult--choosing between relationship and friendship. If it happened to me, I would tend to stay with my current one since he doesn't do anything wrong. Plus, friendship is very important to me.

 

Wish you make the best for yourself.