j0ycew Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 ive been seeing this guy only a couple of times so far, and we've been talking a lot online. this weekend i went to where he lives (few hours away from me) not only to see him though but he played a part. when i was with him and invited to his house with lots of his friends and family, i definitely noticed he had a picture of another girl for his screensaver, a fairly innocent picture or her dressed but still it was in bed - taken by herself luckily, and i couldnt help but feel really awkward. he didnt exactly show me but he didnt make an affort hiding it very good either. what should i do? should i make a run? i really dont wanna be involved in this is he has feelings for her but uses me for physical reasons. being a girl, i dont think i can do that whole no emotional deal and sooner than later i will fall pretty hard for him. can i ask or will that just seem weird? probably worth mentioning that he has been really sweet to me and he's a lovely chap (or at least he has made a very good job making me believe so), and always compliments me but it is bothering me a little bit that its mainly about my looks, although other things as well... Link to comment
ballerinababe Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 Personally, I'd move on. I think it's too late to ask about it now. If you wanted to ask, you should've asked about her casually at his house. Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 He's a few hours a way so that makes it easier to bow out gracefully. Link to comment
happyfrank Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 I would find out who that other girl is before making decisions Link to comment
Cherry009 Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 Yeah get some facts before just cutting him off Link to comment
emma34 Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 If I were you I'd cut it off now. That's a bad sign, no point getting overly invested. Also, I once was hanging out with this guy, seeing each other casually, and I went on his computer while he was in the room to look something up...and he had a picture of me saved on his computer under My Pictures (no i didn't snoop, it was open) that he had obviously saved to his comp from my facebook. I still saw him after that but I was quite a bit younger than him at the time and now I find it very creepy. Not at all related...lol... Link to comment
happyfrank Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 If I were you I'd cut it off now. That's a bad sign, no point getting overly invested. Also, I once was hanging out with this guy, seeing each other casually, and I went on his computer while he was in the room to look something up...and he had a picture of me saved on his computer under My Pictures (no i didn't snoop, it was open) that he had obviously saved to his comp from my facebook. I still saw him after that but I was quite a bit younger than him at the time and now I find it very creepy. Not at all related...lol... What's wrong with that? I once had girl use my picture as screensaver. I was flattered to say the least. Link to comment
and so it goes Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 Yeah, maybe it's a celebrity or something. Or his recently deceased sister or something like that. You seem to be awfully suspicious of this guy...why is that? Link to comment
emma34 Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 What's wrong with that? I once had girl use my picture as screensaver. I was flattered to say the least. If I were dating him I would be flattered that he had a pic as his screen saver, that seems kinda romantic. But in a saved folder on his computer, obviously saved from my facebook, where I had only seen him a couple of times, and it was a "casual" relationship, where I was 19 and he was ten years older...it seems a bit creepy. Something about it just seems "I'm keeping photos of all the girls I sleep with saved in a folder"...I dont know... Link to comment
j0ycew Posted June 10, 2013 Author Share Posted June 10, 2013 Didnt look like a celebrity pic im afraid from the little i could see. Not sure about awfully suspicious, i mean.. i do like the guy, it's been great so far everything except for that picture. What i dont like however is getting my heart broken so in order to avoid that im trying to be catious. Not sure how to go from here though cause it has got me thinking too much and i dont know if i should just continue as normal or if that'll make me look like a fool in the end. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 what should i do? should i make a run? i really dont wanna be involved in this is he has feelings for her but uses me for physical reasons. I would simply ask him, and take it from there. Since you've only had a few dates at best, how he is using you for physical reasons? Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 I would casually ask him about it. Could be something really innocent. Link to comment
j0ycew Posted June 10, 2013 Author Share Posted June 10, 2013 I would simply ask him, and take it from there. Since you've only had a few dates at best, how he is using you for physical reasons? I really think i have to, but how do i bring it up to begin with? As mentioned, it's only been a couple of dates however we've been talking since march and by physical i mean, like there's been a lot of snapchatting etc but thats all been mutual so not a problem. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 I really think i have to, but how do i bring it up to begin with? As mentioned, it's only been a couple of dates however we've been talking since march and by physical i mean, like there's been a lot of snapchatting etc but thats all been mutual so not a problem. Tease him. "cheating on me already?" Link to comment
j0ycew Posted June 10, 2013 Author Share Posted June 10, 2013 Tease him. "cheating on me already?" Haha i was thinking about picking the slightly cheeky direction too, take a photo similar to the one on his phone (she has glasses and i dont so that would be easy as), but im not sure how he'd react haha or if it'd be worth it. Link to comment
MyNinja Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 Tease him. "cheating on me already?" This is a good idea. Do it in a joking nonchalant kinda way as if it isn't a big deal. Link to comment
Jd1983 Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 I think you should just ask him. You can use the "cheating on me" line as Cognitive mentioned, or simply say something like "Oh who's that? She's pretty." Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 Haha i was thinking about picking the slightly cheeky direction too, take a photo similar to the one on his phone (she has glasses and i dont so that would be easy as), but im not sure how he'd react haha or if it'd be worth it. It's only my opinion, but I think that is a bad idea. Increasing the familiarity when you are uncomfortable with where you are right now. I would hold back on much picture taking on your part and first find out what this guy is about. Get to know him. If you like him still enough, continue to go out. You will find out soon enough. And if that pic is still there next time you are at his house on a date, ask him then. I'd ask plainly, but that is me. "oh who is that?". It's just part of getting to know someone. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 I would just ask him who it is as well. Are you two exclusive? Link to comment
j0ycew Posted June 11, 2013 Author Share Posted June 11, 2013 You lot have made this a bit easier already, cheers for that. We're not exclusive at all but we've been talking a lot and at times ive got the impression that we're heading that way. I guess ill have to wait til july when im over again (cause i will be either way), asking now over the phone doesnt feel right.. Link to comment
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