zentoCC Posted August 15, 2013 Author Share Posted August 15, 2013 Hmm I need to have a think about a few things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted August 15, 2013 Author Share Posted August 15, 2013 I had a good day today, need some sleep though. I'm in a work ping-pong tournament tomorrow, haven't played in 6 years! I'm against this adorable man he's a geek in every sense of the word. He's great because one day you'll be talking to him like you've known him for years (I have) then the next day it's like we hardly know each other and he's all awkward (we don't know each other that well)! I made butterfly cakes for the tournament money goes to charity I might make more over the weekend. I love to bake but can't eat all I produce or I'd be huge! Victoria66 has inspired me to knit again. I really wanted to knit my build-a-bear a dress a while back I've got the wool, just need a pattern! One I've finished my cross stitch I'm going to start, hopefully this weekend. Going to get an early night, hopefully I won't whack my head on the wall this time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted August 16, 2013 Author Share Posted August 16, 2013 I lost at ping pong, I was so bad I even fell over at one point. My back really didn't need that. I'm sat out in the garden I was going to out on a face mask and finish my game but who can resist the sun, especially in the UK where we hardly get any! People said they liked my cakes, I accidently left the box at work though, Oops. I knew I should have never read the symptoms of coming off of birth control guess who now has most of them, feel fat. Right time to revise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted August 16, 2013 Author Share Posted August 16, 2013 I've had a break out on my face so I used a tea tree face mask, my face feels much better. I used to use a face mask every week but I stopped having baths on a Wednesday. I also put some coconut oil in my poor hair it's not looking to good I think the dye is destroying it, I've been trying to take care of it as well. Have to step it up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted August 16, 2013 Author Share Posted August 16, 2013 I think I'm jealous of my friend which is funny since I'm not jealous of the others, maybe I'm angry because she keeps letting me down. I feel so alone right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted August 17, 2013 Author Share Posted August 17, 2013 Need to go the gym but I cba. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted August 17, 2013 Author Share Posted August 17, 2013 So I managed to get to the gym, I might go to a class tomorrow if there's a decent one on. I went to the shops and got stuff to make cookies to send to my penpal. I also bought some courgettes to have with my salmon figured that would go nicely and it did. I'm also looking at buying some dried fruit and nuts to replace my graze box as it's getting too expensive. The foods really nice but I can't justify it at the moment it'll save me £20 a months plus I'm getting a new phone next month hopefully a cheaper one. I hate my current phone I've got a Samsung Galaxy Ace and I've had so much trouble with it. I might get a sim only contract if it's cheaper. I really wanted to go to hobby craft after the gym but I stopped myself I can't afford it. Maybe next month. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted August 17, 2013 Author Share Posted August 17, 2013 Damn I've lost my favourite nail file, it was a glass one I got at the Birmingham Christmas market, It's going to be hard (and expensive) to replace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted August 17, 2013 Author Share Posted August 17, 2013 [video=youtube_share;LoEWmc60wJY] ] This has been stuck in my head all day! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted August 17, 2013 Author Share Posted August 17, 2013 Finished all my little projects, should probably concentrate on revising the next few days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted August 17, 2013 Author Share Posted August 17, 2013 I hate weekends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted August 19, 2013 Author Share Posted August 19, 2013 I got a new phone yesterday, I'm not paying £11 a month instead of £22. I get less minutes and data but it's over what I've been using the last few months though I haven't had Facebook on my phone because it kept crashing. I reinstalled in and "hacked" in to works wifi so I don't have to worry about it. After a days use it's still got over thrall the battery left, yay! Oh it's a Nokia 520, I wanted a reliable phone and Nokia is known for reliability. The guy who sold it to me was really nice too. I also bought my sisters present, I went into bought and a woman asked me what I was looking for I ending up buying a mascara and eyeshadow for her, buy one half price and I get 10% off because I'm on a contacts scheme, and I got a free gift set worth £30 to go with it and she wrapped it up really nicely. The only problem is it's wrapping is see through so I may wrap it up in Christmas paper to make it more me. I went to the social area in work today I was talking to this guy and when he turned round, we were quite close to each other, I saw he had amazing blue eyes, wow! So then I go to the ladies and discover I have a giant red spot on my nose it covers over half of it! The only thing it doesn't have is pus, eww. I've put on a tea tree mask and am about to cover it in spot cream. I thought you were supposed to stop getting spots when you stopped being a teenager. My skin is really bad at the moment it's getting greasy quickly in my tea zone and I'm starting to get dry spots again, it get worse as the seasons change, sigh. So yeah not too bad a day I've got my exam tomorrow, I spent quite a while revising yesterday but I still don't feel that confident I been the exam is basically data imputing which is basically my job, just different software and data but there isn't much practise data and I learn by practising reading doesn't really help me to remember it I need to apply it. I've redone my assignment and the original questions but with the practise exam that's only three goes 2 of which are repeats I'll try reading the book again though I stupidly wrote the answer on the questions page in PEN, grr. I shall go to karate to relax, and just hope for the best I guess, this is supposed to be the easiest one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted August 20, 2013 Author Share Posted August 20, 2013 So I'm not sure how it went, I mean I've thought I know the answers before and been wrong, I'll find out in four weeks. Next doors cat just scared the life out of me. I was pulling out my wingmirror and she came up behind me and meowed loudly. She normally likes to great me when I get home from work, normally in the middle of the road. I tell her to wait until we're on the pavement or we'll get run over but she doesn't seem to care. She is a cat after all, cars can wait. I just watched the great British bake off I so wanted the military wife to win her cakes looked amazing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted August 20, 2013 Author Share Posted August 20, 2013 Just had my first thought about my ex today, it's been four(?) weeks since I saw him so not bad progress at all. Wednesday's always my busy day so going to bed a bit early to prepare. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted August 21, 2013 Author Share Posted August 21, 2013 So didn't get any extra sleep. I went for a walk and now my back hurts. I really don't know what's wrong with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted August 21, 2013 Author Share Posted August 21, 2013 I know I portray my ex as a monster sometimes but he really wasn't that bad a guy, really why else would I have gone out with him. I think I now see him in such a bad light because it protects me. It stops me wondering what if because I know I don't want a what if. I've always had trouble trusting people, I'm a very private person which is probably why I do my best to stay anonymous on here. I know I'm also at blame for our relationship breaking down, I let him treat me with less and less respect because I don't like standing up for myself. I'm well aware how pathetic that sounds but I hate the thought of conflict, one if the reasons is because it makes me cry, I hate crying I feel ashamed when I do it but I just can't stop myself it's really embarrassing. I let him push me about because I just didn't want to stand up for myself for instance, when we first started having sex certain positions hurt me I told him this and stop him putting me in those positions, unfortunately he liked then so he'd try and put me in them after a few weeks break at first I stop him but eventually I stopped being as forceful about it and then stopped mentioning it to him at all, it would hurt for days after but if I mentioned it to him he'd make me feel really bad making out like I should have stopped him (even before I gave up trying to stop him). He also like it quite rough but wasn't keen on foreplay he just had to think about sex and be ready and didn't understand why needed more time, again I gave up fighting him about it. I guess I put up with it because I loved the foreplay, when there was some, and the cuddling after though it was more me cuddling him whilst he went on Facebook. I know I shouldn't have let him treat me like that especially for so long but I did and I'm worried if I ever met another guy I'd let him do the same. I always worried about my ex beating and raping me he never gave me any indication he'd do that to me but knowing that he was stronger than me, I just couldn't get thoughts like that out of my head. It's the same with all guys except my Dad, I trust him completely. I could never go back to my ex I know that he broke my trust in the one way I trusted him completely. There's no going back from that, I guess I just have to try harder and be stronger next time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted August 21, 2013 Author Share Posted August 21, 2013 Huh I just measured myself and apparently I've gained an inch on my bust, lost one on my waist and my hips are the same. I've lost half a stone since I last recorded my measurements, where did I lose it from then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted August 22, 2013 Author Share Posted August 22, 2013 I just got an email with the provisional results of my test and apparently I've only gotten one question wrong so I've passed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted August 22, 2013 Author Share Posted August 22, 2013 Going to get my hair done tomorrow it's a bit over due for dyeing but I wanted to try and repair it a bit. I've been worried about having no plans for the bank holiday weekend but I've realised I've got quite a few things to be getting on with, I need to start revising the next module for one. Also I want to start knitting again and hit the gym hard so lose those a few more pounds before my holiday next week, so I can eat more bread rolls! I don't think I've mentioned my holiday but I'm going Grand Canaria next week, can't wait to sit in the sun and relax. I'm going to use it to take a break from ena as well although I'm not ready to leave yet, this place keep my a bit more out of my head, I think I'm a bit to addicted and I can just forget all my worries for a week. I've asked about a few events coming up so I should get out a bit at least. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted August 23, 2013 Author Share Posted August 23, 2013 Someone told me how much my hair has grown. About a year and a half ago I wanted to see if I suited short hair so I cut it into a pixie like cut I kept a bit of length at the front a couple of inches. I loved it but it made me conscious that I couldn't wear a baggy hoodie and jeans with out someone maybe mistaking me for a guy. I mean my boobs are fairly big but you can cover them up quite well. I don't regret it though it was so easy to take care of and it was so healthy because it was short. I cut out all my dyed hair so it was completely my natural colour, a very boring brown. I'm sure I'll do it again in a few years but for now I want it down to my elbows again. So I can platt and braid it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted August 24, 2013 Author Share Posted August 24, 2013 I actually went out last night I had a great time too. I went a bar I couldn't drink because I was driving but the virgin cocktails were great there was a lemon meringue on which was really yummy. Things to do this weekend: 1. Start packing 2. Buy plant food and find home for my plant whilst I'm away. 3. Start revising 4. Confirm bra size 5. Try lose few more pounds before holiday. 6. Ironing 7. Find knitting pattern There's probably more but I needs to get to the gym. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted August 25, 2013 Author Share Posted August 25, 2013 I didn't go the gym yesterday I started feeling dizzy so I skipped it and went round to my Nan's instead I cooked her dinner and she said she liked it! I've never cooked for her before. Someone through up on my car! Eww I went to the car wash, no way was I dealing with that, so that's an extra £5 down the drain. I also went to yoga today, I was good some moves had similarity to karate and the relaxing was so good, I've been wanting to take up meditating for years this might actually convince me to do it. I went to the cinema tonight the film wasn't bad and I noticed I was as nervous as usual. A woman my ex introduced me to served us but she didn't recognise me she even asked me how old I was, obviously I don't make much of an impression though when I was with him I could barely seal to people I was that nervous. I met three n we people today and I could hold proper conversations with them. It's amazing how far I've come in six months I used to be petrified of people talking to me now I can go take to them (in the right circumstances). I'm off tomorrow bank holiday. I can't decide what book to read since I'll still be reading it when I go on holiday. Hmm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted August 25, 2013 Share Posted August 25, 2013 Sounds like you are doing great CC! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted August 26, 2013 Author Share Posted August 26, 2013 Sounds like you are doing great CC! Thanks Silver! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted August 27, 2013 Author Share Posted August 27, 2013 It took me ages to get to sleep last night, I want to go back to bed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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