zentoCC Posted September 3, 2014 Author Share Posted September 3, 2014 Oh yeah not only I he smoking tobacco but weed as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted September 3, 2014 Share Posted September 3, 2014 Oh no Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted September 4, 2014 Author Share Posted September 4, 2014 I was supposed to prepare for my interview last night but I hung around with my housemates as a new girl has just moved in. She seems nice. I need to get my sense of responsibility back. I've been working harder at work the last few days. I got a warning from by my boss. I have done everything I can think of even the little non-jobs he gave me. So now I only have one thing left to do for the rest of the week. He told me to ask him for work but I expect he will struggle soon. I cant wait to get out of there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted September 4, 2014 Author Share Posted September 4, 2014 My boss makes me feel like poo sometimes. I really regret leaving my old team sometimes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 Oh sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted September 4, 2014 Author Share Posted September 4, 2014 I told T that I'm not sure about us getting back together. I haven't had a response yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted September 5, 2014 Author Share Posted September 5, 2014 Nervous about my interview now. Definitely needed more sleep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted September 5, 2014 Author Share Posted September 5, 2014 I think it went well, hopefully I'll get some feed back later today. The other interview I had isn't looking good but I might turn that down even if I don't get offered this one. They didn't look like the best company. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted September 5, 2014 Author Share Posted September 5, 2014 It's developed into an argument with he's not listening to me. He's so full of anger at the moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted September 5, 2014 Author Share Posted September 5, 2014 So I think the arguing might have stopped for now. I think he finally understood where I was coming from. We're going to have a bit of a cooling off period then see how it goes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted September 8, 2014 Author Share Posted September 8, 2014 I felt really down on Saturday I didn't really do much. So I made sure to go out Sunday. Luckily I had book group in the morning to get me out of bed then I went and visited both my Nan's and went out for dinner with the family. I felt so much better that day. Still sad but I didn't mope so an improvement there. Now just to get more sleep! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted September 10, 2014 Author Share Posted September 10, 2014 I didn't get the job. I really wanted it too. I've got a second interview for the first place bit I'm really not sure I even want that anymore. The company doesn't sound nearly as good and it's more specialised which is something I don't want to do at the moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 Sorry you didn't get the job CC. I'm sure you will get something better later on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted September 12, 2014 Author Share Posted September 12, 2014 I had a good day yesterday. I finished work at one and went to the beach. I lay in the sand reading and went for a paddle. It was so relaxing and much better than being in work. I've been hanging out with my housemate a lot lately. We get on really well. I'm also going to Prague in October, I can't wait. Yesterday was the the first day I've felt happier in a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 Glad to read you are feeling better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted October 1, 2014 Author Share Posted October 1, 2014 I feel like I'm being pulled in a lot of different directions lately. I have far too much on my plate and I'm struggling to get rid of it. I'm thinking of giving up karate until next year as it's causing me a lot of injuries but I'm also gaining a lot of weight at the moment. I'm struggling to keep on top of my studies, I'm not progressing fast enough. I don't have enough time to myself yet I keep signing up for more and more social things dispite the fact I want to do them less and less. Oh and yeah T, we're back together in everything but name. Some days I'm happy about that others I'm not and I feel like such a bad person for it. I don't know how to make up my mind. I'm sort of thinking I'll see how it goes until the end of the year but it make a difference if I'm still not 100%? Or will I keep dragging it out? I keep going away at the weekend, I keep having fantasies of running away. I could take my savings and disappear, start work in a different city, I would probably end up lonely or back where I started though. This growing up stuff is hard and I still don't really feel like a proper adult. I'm still scared of people judging me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 BIG HUGS ZCC. Sounds like a good idea to take time out from some things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted October 2, 2014 Author Share Posted October 2, 2014 Yeah, hopefully next week I can. I've signed up for too much this week, to be honest I keep wanting to be alone but whenever I can I find myself going and seeking people out. I've taken this afternoon off. I'm going to take my Nan to get her hair done as it's her birthday and then go to a red squirrel sanctuary. I've also got an interview on Monday. I had one last Monday I think it went well. I still have heard fro. The one I had nearly two weeks ago. Apparently though they are notoriously slow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted October 3, 2014 Author Share Posted October 3, 2014 So of course now that I've wrote that T and I are ok, we're not. Well do be honest I'm not sure. He opened up to me for about 5 minutes, then closed off and now he doesn't seem to be talking to me. I guess it's progress, I'm not sure what to make of it, except that I'm fed up of feeling so miserable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted October 3, 2014 Share Posted October 3, 2014 Squirrels! I love squirells, but have never seen a real one, not even at a zoo. Only on television and movies! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted October 3, 2014 Author Share Posted October 3, 2014 Si I just had the hardest conversation in my life and now I'm single. He's very angry at me. I guess I can't blame him. I'm not sure what to write really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted October 4, 2014 Share Posted October 4, 2014 Big Hug CC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted October 4, 2014 Author Share Posted October 4, 2014 Thanks Silver. I feel numb and guilty. I keep checking my phone. I want to make a drastic change but I'm not sure what. I guess now I can do what ever I want. Move down south, work abroad, take a holiday. I have my free flights to use. Maybe I should go to Japan again. Need to keep busy, going to try and join a gym today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted October 4, 2014 Author Share Posted October 4, 2014 Currently at the park, there's a big event going on but I've come away from it a bit. I'm about to go down to the meadows, my legs hurting a bit. I wonder if other people can tell, a body guard looked at me strangely. I feel isolated, not jealous of other couples at least. Lots of grey squirrels in this park, no red ones. Shame I didn't get any photos, my phone wasn't good enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted October 4, 2014 Share Posted October 4, 2014 What's wrong with your leg CC? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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