Silverbirch Posted May 3, 2014 Share Posted May 3, 2014 Good luck with the job Z. Well it does sound that things with T are going very well despite your insecurities. I am very happy with the improved appearance of my hair since Imchanged hairdresser and also started using my new steam straightener - but my hair goes frizzy but the straightener has helped with this - as well. Wearing a woolen cap when I am outdoors or in the bathroom where there is steam. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted May 4, 2014 Author Share Posted May 4, 2014 Things are going well but my insecurities keep growing. It's like the better a boyfriend he is the more I think something's going to go wrong. We had a really nice date yesterday. We went into town did a bit of shopping, then we hired a boat and he rowed me down a river. I had ago at rowing. I'm not very good at it. We nearly capsized the boat swapping over. He's very strong we got quite far before we had to turn back. We then went home watched a movie and had the worst take away ever, bleh! Apart from that I had a really good time. Washing my hair less often seems to have made it go thicker, my hair is already quite thick so I'm not really that pleased. I had allot of sleep last night I feel tonnes better. I'm hopefully gonna be quite productive today. Studying is at the top of my list! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted May 4, 2014 Author Share Posted May 4, 2014 I've just done a budget. I tried to be honest and it came out as I spend £3 under what I earn (that includes putting money in my savings account). I'm really pleased, I know I can do a bit more though. I've done quite bad this month but I think that's due to me starting my course and paying my car insurance. I'm just going to have to be really stingy for the rest of the month. It's funny because I've notice since I moved out my parents I always have a credit card bill of £130 something. I'm obviously not getting more in debt but then I'm not exactly saving more month on month either I want to work on getting that halved because sometimes I forget to take it into account when seeing how much money I've got left, oops. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted May 4, 2014 Author Share Posted May 4, 2014 I should do yoga every week, I feel very peaceful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted May 5, 2014 Author Share Posted May 5, 2014 I feel good about T today. He came over and we played cards and play fought. I gave him some cake to take to work that I baked last night. I haven't had a peace yet, will do in a minute. I tried to study but I just can't concentrate. I'm listening to Tove Lo which is a diffent genre for me plus it's break up music which I guess isn't appropriate but then again when I broke up with T I couldn't bear to hear songs about love for ages so I guess it's not that bad. I've been back into Snow Patrol at the moment guess I'm just in a melancholy mood. It calms me. I had three nights in this three day weekend, I can't afford to go out. It was kinda nice to rest but I can't wait to go back to my busy life. Oh and I can't remember if I mentioned this but I'm back at the gym, I can feel a real lift in my mood and confidence. I don't think I could quit the gym, I'm useless without it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted May 5, 2014 Share Posted May 5, 2014 I should be getting more exercise. I know I always feel better too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted May 8, 2014 Author Share Posted May 8, 2014 I really wanted to post yesterday but I was really busy and I left my phone with T. I saw a side of T I haven't seen in quiet a while. He got angry at me just because I couldn't make snap decision about things. He didn't even give me options it was just 'choose'. He made me feel stupid. I didn't realise how made it had made me feel until I got home. Yesterday wasn't much better, loads of little things kept going wrong. I just ended up feeling even more stupid. I can't wait for this week to be over. I've got my appraisal today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted May 8, 2014 Author Share Posted May 8, 2014 Having a very stressful week. I wish people would just leave me alone or at least not act like I'm creating major problems for them because I'm just doing what you told me too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted May 9, 2014 Author Share Posted May 9, 2014 Spent a few hours cuddling with T and I feel much better. I think a bit of chili time and knowing I don't have to go to work for a couple of days helped too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted May 10, 2014 Author Share Posted May 10, 2014 I love Eurovision! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted May 12, 2014 Author Share Posted May 12, 2014 T has asked if we can talk. He's never done that before. I've been really stressed the past week it's affected our relationship. I wonder if he's going to end it. I want to go back to Japan or anywhere I can just be alone really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted May 13, 2014 Author Share Posted May 13, 2014 With the help of some sleeping tablets I finally got a descents nights sleep. Also the pain in my abdomen has gone down it hurt to walk yesterday. Today I'm finishing early and just relaxing at home. I need to study as well. My tablet arrived so I can stick my study stuff on that for when I go to my parents. T was nice he was worried about me, I told him I'll try to be happier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted May 13, 2014 Author Share Posted May 13, 2014 I felt much better today after a decent nights sleep.I had my appraisal today. There were good a bad parts. I told him again that I was worried about my job because in just over a months time I don't know what I'll be doing. I've heard some rumours but nothing concrete. He basically told me to put it out my mind and wait until it's sorted A.K.A get over it. From the sounds of it nothings really being done the only comforting thing is that there not just allowed to fire me they are obliged to give me work because it's a secondment. I need to start job searching harder though. T got to the third stage of a job application where they have to do an assessment. the first two were psychometric tests. I'm so proud of him if he gets it he will be earning over double what I do and he has to move two hours away....if the traffics good.....I live in Britain..... No point in worrying about it yet though. I did an hours studying tonight, I've been chatting to a guy on the site it helps, I might contact a few more people. I'm still really tired. Least I can get up a bit later tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted May 14, 2014 Share Posted May 14, 2014 Good Luck for both of you CC! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted May 15, 2014 Author Share Posted May 15, 2014 T has to apply to do go to the assessment again because they lost his test. He's not happy. I planned a surprise date for him today. I took him to a place I'd tried to take him before, but I'd always gotten lost. We had a picnic there, he mocked because the apparently the picnic I made was posh but who wants a sandwich for tea? He said he apreciated the effort and we walked around for a couple of hours just chatting and winding each other up. I got a bit lost on our walk but we found our way home. They we went back to mine. It was really nice he kept telling me how much he loved me. He's staying over tomorrow night. I've got an interview tomorrow a recruitment agency saw my CV, I'm not 100% sure about the job but I'm certainly willing to find out more. It's a Skype interview so I need to straighten my room! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted May 18, 2014 Author Share Posted May 18, 2014 I'm not sure what happened with the skype interview, she seemed to just skip it and has arranged another one for next week. I went to the beach yesterday, we went to the arcades as well and played on the 2p machines I won 2 keyrings, one I gave to T because he won an owl for me. I walked into one of them and said I'd like the owl and went off to find a change machine and by the time I'd come back he'd won it for me. I then went out for dinner with my friend who I haven't seen in a few weeks. We had French food which was really yummy. My diets been really bad lately and I haven't been going to the gym as often. Plus I need to step up my studying, gahh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted May 19, 2014 Author Share Posted May 19, 2014 It's so bloody hard to get a doctors appointment. I've got a mole that's raised, red and sore, it would take 5 seconds to look at but not I've got to make 3 phone calls before they'll consider making me an appointment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted May 20, 2014 Author Share Posted May 20, 2014 My mile is fine, plus I managed to get some more cream for my feet (I'm prone to ingrown toenails). There was a storm yesterday, I had to drive down the motorway in it. It was tipping it down with the thunder and lightning really adding to it. I've lost my ipod so I had to listen to the radio in stead of my music. T came round for a cuddle as well, because his schedule means we won't see each other until at least Friday we'll find out exactly when tonight. We're watching the Big Bang Theory together at the moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted May 20, 2014 Author Share Posted May 20, 2014 The bf just got a new job. He a ed the interview and they're giving him a job at a different restaurant to the one he applied for. He's got to do a trial shift but he's not worried about it. It's funny because it's a sushi restaurant and he hates fish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted May 21, 2014 Author Share Posted May 21, 2014 Sorry if it's pretty poorly put together but here are some of my favourite photos of Japan. Edit: Wow, I didn't realise how much I reduced the quality on them. I might try and put them on photobucket instead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted May 22, 2014 Author Share Posted May 22, 2014 So T and I got into a fight. It won't be resolved tonight. I'm not sure how it even started but if it's anything like are fights used to be it will be long, drawn out and there will be no resolution to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted May 23, 2014 Share Posted May 23, 2014 Oh sorry. Could you write to each other to try to resolve it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted May 23, 2014 Author Share Posted May 23, 2014 We argued again this morning now he doesn't seem to be talking to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted May 24, 2014 Author Share Posted May 24, 2014 link removed I was reading this and it makes some good points, I might show it to T. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zentoCC Posted May 28, 2014 Author Share Posted May 28, 2014 It was T's birthday yesterday, I think he enjoyed it. We just grabbed a curry and watched a film. I'm not seeing him on my birthday, I just found out he's at work. I feel really upset about it but I know it's not his fault, so I just feel guilty. I've asked him not to talk to me because I might start an argument with him and now I feel worse than ever. I wasn't looking forward to my birthday anyway now I just wish I could skip it. ^^^ Just reading that I can see how immature I am. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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