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Ladies: Does distance make you want sex more?


Double J

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I've noticed that when I go a few days without seeing my fiancée, she seems to be a lot hornier. If we don't see each other, say, twice a week, we'll have a lot more sex that week than in a week where we've seen each other every day. Seems counter intuitive, I know, but could it be another case of absence making the heart grow fonder and increasing one's desire for closeness? When you're always around someone, you can't really miss him or her, so you slip into a routine. We always want what we can't have. Would you enjoy a burger more if you've had it every day this week, or if you haven't had it in a while?

 

Case in point: Birth rates go up everytime men come back from war.

 

So do you ladies feel you're more likely to be in the mood if you haven't seen your partner for a few days? Guys are welcome to chime in.

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Men and women the longer they go without sex generally want it more. Not everyone. Most people I know.

 

My fiancée and I have gone through dry spells where we've only done it once a week. The difference was that we saw each other every single day. There's a clear distinction between (1) not doing it that much because you're always around each other, you never get the chance to yearn for each other's company, and sex becomes routine, and (2) not being able to do it because the other person isn't physically present. It seems to me that the second scenario is more conducive to increased sexual activity over the long haul.

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I think it's the idea of not being able to get any that makes me horny, like, I can get myself off but it's just not the same... so when he returns (even if it's only been two days) I am ready to jump him because for the past two days, I have not been able to have sex. But if he's there and sex is on the table, going for two days without it may not even be noticed, because it's available to me.

 

Perhaps a better way to understand it is this: Tell yourself that you are not allowed to eat your favorite food (I'm using donuts as an example). As soon as you say "I will not allow myself to eat donuts for the next month because I want to loose weight!" what is the first thing your body craves?

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Well for me, seeing ANYONE every day is just too much.

 

I actually thought about this. And I have to say a firm NO. Absence does not make me hornier. I have a threshold, and what makes me happiest (and horniest) is a steady diet of regular sex mixed up with time spent apart.

 

I've done the whole "be without each other for months" thing in a previous long term relationship. Many times. Was there some urgent emergency sex when we got together? Yeah. But he didn't need to be gone for months to make that happen...like you said...a few days is enough.

 

It's more like, with the burger analogy, if you stuff your face with burgers every day even though you aren't genuinely hungry, are you going to enjoy it more if you don't eat burgers for a while and then eat one when you are really hungry? Of course. But the absence didn't make you hungrier. It's a personal mind game.

 

Eddie Murphy said it best, but he was talking about crackers. If you haven't eaten in days, even a saltine is like, "man, this is the best damn cracker I've ever had in my entire life!".

 

I know some people are genuinely turned on by denial (can't have it, want it)...

 

but that sh/t wears thin fast. It's just one SPICE not the meal.

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Me too! I went 15 years with no sex.....while married! (ick).....and never missed it. But when i had someone i WANTED sex with ....crappola! The more i HAD it...the more i wanted it. For me...it made me just 'ache' all the more. Having sex made my vagina feel 'alive' again....it was invigorated....it WANTED it more. Now that i haven't had sex for going on 10 months...and hardly any before (hehehe...last time was this summer when ex fiance came down for a funeral...sheesh) I'm practically 'dead' down there. In fact i would think i was....except i had this really hot guy this past week for a massage....and i found out...'I ain't dead'......lol

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I think it's the idea of not being able to get any that makes me horny, like, I can get myself off but it's just not the same... so when he returns (even if it's only been two days) I am ready to jump him because for the past two days, I have not been able to have sex. But if he's there and sex is on the table, going for two days without it may not even be noticed, because it's available to me.

 

Well said. Couldn't agree more, and this is precisely what I was trying to explain. The more readily available something is-- in this case, sex -- the less you tend to value, yearn for, and appreciate it.

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