annie24 Posted November 14, 2004 Share Posted November 14, 2004 Hi everyone - I have been seeing a guy for about 2-3 months now. He's kind, intelligent, and very sweet to me. We have a good relationship, we're not dating other people, but we're taking things slow. Last week over dinner, he said to me, "I just wanted to let you know that I've got a lot of stuff going on in the next few weeks, so if I start pulling away, it's not because of you, I have to deal with some things, and then I'll come back to you." He told me about what's going on with his work and school, and I have to agree, it sounds like a very stressful situation. This is the first weekend since we started dating that we haven't seen each other. He does still call as often as he did before, we just haven't had a date this weekend. I've just known of so many instances when a guy doesn't like a girl anymore, he tells her he's really busy. My question: How long should I be a good sport for? I don't want to be pushy, but should I ask how long is this "stressful time" going to last? It sounds like he wants some space, so I'm trying my best to give it to him. But, I can't sit around forever waiting for him either. Thanks for taking the time to read this! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
San123 Posted November 14, 2004 Share Posted November 14, 2004 Well I think if he was just pulling away he wouldnt have told you that he wouldn't see you as much as usual, or give you heads up about it...it would just happen. Waiting a couple of weeks isn't going to hurt you, just go out with friends or something... respect his situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iceesnowbubble Posted November 14, 2004 Share Posted November 14, 2004 in my opinion...if this guy really cares about you, which i think he should after 2-3 months of even casual dating..he should WANT you around during his stressful time to talk to and comfort and make him feel better. When you care about someone, you want to be around them no matter what is going on, even more so during the hard times. The fact that the two of you are just "dating" gives him a little bit of slack, but i wouldnt be a "good sport" as you put it for too long, because that allows him to kind of have you exactly where he wants you. Just be careful with this one.. especially since he is still calling the same amount. Maybe he really is THAT busy... but everyone has atleast 10 minutes to stop and say hello..dont you think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scout Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 He said a few weeks. Give it a few weeks. Then revisit the issue if he is still too busy to spend much time with you. In the meantime, use the next few weeks to catch up on some things you might have put on hold during the new stages of your relationship with him. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RayKay Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 He could just be very overwhelmed right now -it happens, and I honestly don't have time for even myself sometimes, let alone anyone else. He was upfront about it, told you the reason and said it was not going to last forever, so I would give it time. He is still contacting you a lot and such. And honestly, sometimes a little break is GOOD for a relationship! Space is NOT a bad thing, and how you act while he needs space could even allow for more respect from him - be the cool, independent woman I am sure you are...and let him know you are still there for him through the stress Good luck! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted November 15, 2004 Author Share Posted November 15, 2004 Thanks for the advice! I guess I'll just see how the next few weeks go and then take things from there... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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