corvidae Posted November 13, 2004 Share Posted November 13, 2004 Is it normal to be 25 and to never have had any woman show any interest in you? I mean, I've never had a girlfriend, but I'm not abnormal. I'm a nice person with a fairly active social life, and I get on with both men and women. But, somehow, just throughout my life, no-one's ever been interested in going out with me. I think I've just never met anyone that wanted to. I've never been asked out, those that I have asked out have said no, I've never been approached by anyone while out socially, I've never had someone obviously flirt with me. Is it possible to just be, in some way, different to everyone else, so that the normal course of life doesn't hold true for you? I mean, this scenario shouldn't be too hard should it: I like someone, they like me...we get together. Yet it has never happened. Not once, not ever. I'm not horrible looking or an unpleasant person, so why should this be? Some horrible twist of fate? By sheer random probability I have never met anyone that could find me attractive? How strange. So, the message to anyone who's a teen and hoping things might get better...well they might, but then they might not. Time is not always a healer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
San123 Posted November 13, 2004 Share Posted November 13, 2004 How often do you ask girls out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shyguy24 Posted November 13, 2004 Share Posted November 13, 2004 Hey if ure normal then u will find someone for sure sooner or later i am 25 and i met mygf when i was 23 my first serious relationship and she proposed to me to ask me out and i had only gone out with one other girl only before that its u who makes a difference and not anything else be confident and happy and people will be attracted to u no matter what its human pshycology that we follow those people who look happy and confident rather then those who are crying all the time so i would say believe in ureself and it will happen as for u covidae i would say its normal not to b asked out it dosent happen everyday and not to everyone but if u believe in it ....it could happen to u ...its ure attitude that attracts people rather than anything else 0X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djgreen_uk Posted November 13, 2004 Share Posted November 13, 2004 not everything will be delivered to you on a plate. Consider : Have you ever shown any special interest in somebody else to merit them showing an interest in you? I always say, Confidence is the biggest healer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bzborow1 Posted November 14, 2004 Share Posted November 14, 2004 As far as the girls not coming to you, well that's just life man. Think about it, the girls you're usually attracted to are physically attractive right? Well chances are she's being hit on by lots of guys, so why would she care about guys who don't put themselves out there (go talk to her)? Of course if you look like Brad Pitt you are going to have some advantages, but that's only half the game...you gotta try things, experiment, see what works. Maybe how you carry yourself isn't working? Maybe you're too aggressive? Who knows. Next time just try chattin with her...after a little small talk tell you've gotta run...turn away...then turn back to her and say, "hey! you got email?" ....play out all her possible answers and how you'll react to it....it really works.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
corvidae Posted November 14, 2004 Author Share Posted November 14, 2004 I'm not suggesting that women should offer themselves to me or make all the effort...not at all. But when two people get together one person cannot be responsible for giving 100%. If they do then that's just kidnapping/stalking etc... because the person has no interest in you yet you force something. What have I given? What have I done? Probably too much. I've asked quite a few girls out over the years. They've all said no. I've tried just trying to be friendly and seeing if something developes...that's not worked out. I'm not saying I want women to make all the effort, but they should make some. Just a bit. As far as I can tell no-one has ever been interested. No smiles, no nods, no little signs. Nothing. In all my life. That can't be normal. It's useless to say that things will change. They might. Then they might not. As for confidence, well I've come to think that confidence is a gift given by other people. You can't make it for yourself, that would be arrogance or self-denial. Confidence is a gift. If everyone thinks your ugly, well how are you going to be confident? Where is it going to come from? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bzborow1 Posted November 14, 2004 Share Posted November 14, 2004 That's your big misconception, "if i'm ugly i might as well be good for nothing". Firstly I think most people can get up to average if they take care of themselves, dress nice, etc...so at the very least you are average. But in my personal experience i've seen plenty of very attractive women dating guys who aren't as good looking as myself, so they must have something else. Attraction for a man is more physical....and while attraction is in part physical for women I think there's a little more to it for them. You should check a guy named David Deangelo and an ebook he's written, "Double your dating". Some very good theories and exercises for you to try out cuz i'm convinced your lack of success with women is just a limitation in your mind then anything else. PM me if you'd like book. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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