unlucky001 Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 Hey guys, So I met this guy from an online dating site 2 months ago. We hit it off really well and he was a gentleman. I really like him and he seemed to like me too. First time, we met at a public place (for coffee) and he made it a date by taking me to bowling and then to dinner at a nice restraunt (all on the first night we met). It was great. He asked me out again 2 times. we had a good time. we have also been making out at his place after the 3rd date. We met on valentines day as well and he brought me flowers. He cooked dinner for me once and later we made out. So my question is how does this guy see me? is he serious about me? because he told me he is not the type of guy who would jump into a relationship very quick. also, all this time, he has only been texting me once a week. sometimes it takes him more than a week to text me. he mostly communicate through texting except once he actually called. we only meet once a week. and its bothering me because i really like him and I want him to ask me out atleast 2 times a week. atleast contact me more than once a week. He is still active on the online dating site. Is this guy really interested in having a relationship with me? or is he just passing time? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wilyone 11 Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 It sounds like he's interested but is just taking it slow. Perhaps he has learned from past mistakes that texting a woman every day or multiple times a day leads to high expectations. Or maybe things moved too quickly and it was too much too fast. My advice is to date other people yourself, fill up your time, and enjoy what he gives you. If you're not happy or fulfilled, disappear and find someone else. Just don't complain, ask where the relationship is going or act insecure and needy. If you do, guys who prefer to take it slow will typically bolt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abitbroken Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 Have you every called or texted HIM? Some guys don't chat much in between dates - they just use a text or call to confirm the next. But some people are the opposite. I wouldn't want to see him twice a week just to see him twice a week - but I would maybe ask HIM out to something that is closer to less than a week from your last date and see what he says. I will say that for some people EIGHT WEEKS of dating doesn't put them into the mode of someone being fully in their day to day life. FOr some people it does. So try to initiate a little more contact yourself and see what happens. It is time that you did. Also, you don't know if he is dating others, politely declining other women or rereading your messages to him. Also, some dating sites falsely show people "online now" to make it look like the site is busy. So don't jump to conclusions - talk. I think that you should initiate a little more contact and who knows maybe he will bring up not dating anyone else soon - or you might - but I would try a little initiation first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tom1607307597 Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 I'm the same way as the guy the OP is describing, for me a text is mostly for confirming the next time we're going out or where/when we're meeting. I don't see the point of texting everyday about how their day was, that would get old fast imo. There's gotta be some purpose behind it. Nothing wrong with calling or texting them if you miss them of course. Some guys are bad about texting when they start dating someone. Maybe he doesn't know what to text or how often to arrange dates? You should tell him that you would like to see him more often during the week if you feel he isn't contacting you enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpottiOtti Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 Two months of dating? I'd say maybe he's thinking it's time for you to do some asking out, missy. Do it!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunshines Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 Some people are big texters and some are not. I noticed with older guys they like to call to ask you out or just say "hey how was your day". They don't text very much because it's not something they entirely grew up doing like the younger generation these days is glued to their damn phones. It's one thing to have a short mini text conversation but it's another thing if he doesn't respond for a week to the last thing you said. This seems like he may be keeping options open and trying to talk to several women at once. If a guy is really interested he would make an effort to talk to you more than once a week. Was it clear you both are interested in dating or relationships? You sure he isn't just looking for some action? Well than again for just action I'm sure he would of gave up by now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanyawill35 Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 Sounds like he's interested and that he's acting exactly according to how he told you he would. I wouldn't be concerned, and since you've been dating for such a short time, I wouldn't ask him about his continued activity on dating sites if I were you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 I think he's dating several women. You should be dating several guys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unlucky001 Posted March 21, 2013 Author Share Posted March 21, 2013 Thanks for the replies among the six dates we had, I have asked him out twice. I have also initiated texts and he has always responded (not too quickly but within in an hour or so). During our last date, which on march 11, he told me he couldnt wait to see and that he missed me. But if he misses me so much, why hasnt he asked me out yet. its almost two weeks since we met. even if hes so busy with his work, if he likes me, he would have made time for me right? he told me his work has been really busy and his schedule changed to sometimes working late night shifts. I am dating other men but I cant stop thinking about this guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greatone99 Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 He's taking it slow and obviously he's doing something right if you can't stop thinking about him. You'd get bored with eachother if you over-do it in the beginning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quiddy Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 I was dealing with a similar situation few weeks ago when i finally told the guy that we are obviously looking for different things. We had 9 dates within 2,5 months, we met up every week but he only texted me 1 or 2 a week between seeing me. I spent 2 out of these 9 dates at his home rest was restaurants, cinema, stand up comedy... I liked him but the lack of effort in contacting me was bothering me and after 2,5 months i saw absolutely no progress. My friend who is really good with reading guys and relationships always says that on the first month of meeting a guy they are always on their best behaviour, they try hardest, they call or text you a lot, they want to see you so if somebody goes without contacting you for a week they obviously do not make you their priority and if u were together later , they would put even less effort. So i told the guy that we were obviously looking for different things, i dont do casual dating and he clearly is not looking for someone to be with so we should stop seeing each other , it was after 2,5 month when you can tell if things are gonna go soewhere or not. He texted back saying he was not sure where this has come from and after a conversation he told me that he was not looking for anyone because he is leaving the country next year and he did not want to be close to me cos he did not want to change his mind because of someone. So he wasnt honest with me from the beginning but for 2 month of seeing him i could feel the distance he was putting between us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unlucky001 Posted March 22, 2013 Author Share Posted March 22, 2013 Thank you quiddy for sharing your situation with me. It helped me think my situation in a different way. He did mention on our 5th date that he maybe travelling. Anyways, I will wait till he calls or texts since hasnt done it over a week now. If he does not, then its his loss. I dont think he was looking for some action because he knows I am a virgin and he is fine with it. Also, I am starting to lose interest in this guy because I really dont like to be ignored. what he is doing to me is kinda turning me off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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