Kristenelaine Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Keep ignoring her, or tell you to stop contacting you. She's going crazy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stranger88 Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 This right here is what happens when you stick to no contact. Usually at one point it clicks in their head what happened and they just have to message you. I think after a person dumps someone else they feel there is a period of 'safety'. What is that? It means that you're still going to be pinning over them for a certain period of time so they feel that they can enjoy that time without feeling any real possibility of losing you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ParisPaulette Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Yeesh, she sounds like my ex who didn't speak up for eight months until he found out I'd started seeing someone. Then he did all of this too and yeah, showed up unexpected two different times--once at a favorite hangout and once at my house. The most effective thing to do is text her once stating, "I do not want any contact and this is all you will ever hear from me. Goodbye." No emotion, no interest, just blunt fact. Repeat as necessary, but my guess is she's lost the married hubby and now wants a shoulder to cry on. If you let her she'll happily unload on you setting your own healing back nicely before she moves on again secure in knowing you've become the fall-back guy. Don't let her do that and don't accept it. You're doing a great job so far, keep going. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueKitten Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Awesome job!! You are an inspiration to the rest of us!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surfjon Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Stay strong man!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChasingHope Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Stay strong, and do not respond!!! Getting mixed up in all that crazy a second time around will be a nightmare. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike80 Posted March 23, 2013 Author Share Posted March 23, 2013 Well, I screwed up. I ignored her for 3 days and nights. On the 3rd night, she sends a text, "Im moving back to CT and would like to see you before I leave." I didnt think much of it, besides "ce la vi". I had the feeling she was making a desperstion attempt at getting some attention out of me. (Note to those reading this: TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS.) But then the next morning, my mind started wandering. "what if she really is leaving?" I began debating whether I should respond. After half a day, I took the plunge. I sent a text saying "Why do you want to see me? Just curious.". 2 hours pass. No response. 8 hours pass. No response. I think you all know where this is going. The roles had completely reversed by this morning. I was sitting there angry and depressed...couldnt sleep...no response came. I sent another text saying "you blow my phone up (you AND your homegirl) for 3 days and nights, then when I swallow my pride and decide to have the decency to at least answer you, you f-----g ignore me?? dont give me more reasons to dislike you!". It was at that moment when I lost control I realized what I had done by breaking NC on my part. I gave her all the power back. I gave her an ego boost. I went against everything I believed in and set myself back a couple steps. She is not going to respond now that I played my hand. I feel like such a moron...such a hypocrite. She never really wanted to see me, did she? She was just looking backwards for a moment, then realized she made a mistake, and will now go back to her crappy life. Damn me for a fool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kristenelaine Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 Don't be so hard on yourself. We have all been there! You wanted to say goodbye on a good note. You're still the bigger person. If anything this just proves to you what you believed in the first place Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike80 Posted March 23, 2013 Author Share Posted March 23, 2013 Thanks Kristen. I know I shouldnt feel so bad but I feel like she played me perfectly. I took the bait like a fish to worm. If shed have never sent that text Id still be total NC. Im just so damn angry right now. She couldnt just be miserable alone! Noooo, she had to try her damnedest to drag me along with her. Im going out tonight and I will get drunk and hit on a very attractive woman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonDraper32 Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 Don't beat yourself up. I did the same thing this week. I managed to ignore 58 calls from my ex on St Patrick's Day when she was drunk, only to make the mistake of responding to a text. By night's end, she was hanging up on me and not answering my calls, and by Wednesday I had driven an hour and a half to see her, only for us to return to NC. I managed to keep the power for 3 hours, only to lose it within in the blink of a moment. It happens. It's a process. Just remember this feeling now the next time you're tempted to respond to contact. You don't want to feel it again. Live and learn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike80 Posted March 23, 2013 Author Share Posted March 23, 2013 Thanks Don. 58 calls?? I guess these girls think persistance beats resistance. Then when they get what they asked for, they do a complete 180. Insanity! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonDraper32 Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 Thanks Don. 58 calls?? I guess these girls think persistance beats resistance. Then when they get what they asked for, they do a complete 180. Insanity! Yep. It's all mind games and a power struggle for them, which is messed up to do to somebody you care about, even if they're doing it subconsciously. I'm just trying to adopt the mindset that you've made clear in this thread- that we deserve better. It can be a tough pill to swallow sometimes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kristenelaine Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 Go get yourself some attention. From normal women. =] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClarityCoast Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 Mike she just did you a huge favor...she gave you two lessons that may propel you forward and help in the future: 1. She will do just about everything to "step up the game" in order to get any kind of reaction out of you. 2. She is manipulative and emotionally immature, incapable of offering a sane relationship. The next time she pulls this sort of drama...now you know EXACTLY how to handle it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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