tryharder83 Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 or maybe.. just maybe. say yes she has changed her fb rel status to single cause she and her beau is currently going through some drama., which happens to be on your birthday. ..it is to maybe get a reaction out of him. nothing to do with you really. and recently again according to you she met up with him. i dont mean to be harsh. but i also dont want you to get your hopes up. unless your ex directly say it to you. but you havent had any contact with her as you said. this can mess with your head.. it did with me.. that's why more than a year after im still struggling because its not easy to undone all the false hopes i fed myself with.. goodluck musicman85, all the best to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calichick007 Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Everyone who has posted has recommended NOT reaching out right now, and I agree 100%. Who knows what's going on. I know you want to believe that this was purely a rebound, that he can't measure up to you, etc. - and that may be true. But they were together for a year. She must have cared for him and probably still does. This forum is evidence that plenty of breakups are not final... people break up, talk recon, meet up, so on and so forth. Maybe they are talking/hanging out again. Maybe not. Maybe the breakup is permanent. Maybe not. But I think contacting her to investigate will definitely make you look opportunistic and insensitive. As someone else said, she is probably hurting now and your contact will not be well received. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
syms Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 How was her rebound relationship, did they move really fast and did she ever try to make it noticeable how happy they were? Since I have went NC my ex posts on fb like at least 6 time up to 20 times a day. I went out the other night and added pictures of me and my sisters going out and 20 mins after he adds a picture of him and his gf. The the next day posts a picture that says " I get jealous because i dont want anyone to make you happier then I can" everyone thinks its about me cuz I went out and he seen me a few days before with another guy and he told me he would bejealous if I started seeing someone else could he be starting to get jealous cuz he sees me living my life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
musicman85 Posted March 19, 2013 Author Share Posted March 19, 2013 How was her rebound relationship, did they move really fast and did she ever try to make it noticeable how happy they were? Since I have went NC my ex posts on fb like at least 6 time up to 20 times a day. I went out the other night and added pictures of me and my sisters going out and 20 mins after he adds a picture of him and his gf. The the next day posts a picture that says " I get jealous because i dont want anyone to make you happier then I can" everyone thinks its about me cuz I went out and he seen me a few days before with another guy and he told me he would bejealous if I started seeing someone else could he be starting to get jealous cuz he sees me living my life They definitely moved super super fast. She told me he's nothing like me and does things that I would never do. That he treats her badly and cusses all the time and gets angry, called her a "bi**h" and told her she's stupid, made her cry when they went out etc. Her family said the love me, sisters still contact me from time to time and tell me im awesome, her friends say that they have always been on my side. She told me that she doesnt know if sees herself with him. She didn't tell him that we were hanging out and meeting up and talking etc etc you know the usual i guess? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Did she cheat on you when you were together? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edmund Exley Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Did she cheat on you when you were together? Here's his story. He should have put this one behind him along time ago. I pray she doesn't suck him back in Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
musicman85 Posted March 19, 2013 Author Share Posted March 19, 2013 Here's his story. He should have put this one behind him along time ago. I pray she doesn't suck him back in ] Edmund thanks for posting, couldn't find it myself for some reason. I think I posted that when i initially decided to go NC, or 3 weeks into it. Now after 8 months of NC all this is happening and trying to put my best foot forward and make the best decision for myself, but its hard bc i still do have feelings for her, even given what had happened Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rosasnyder811 Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Edmund thanks for posting, couldn't find it myself for some reason. I think I posted that when i initially decided to go NC, or 3 weeks into it. Now after 8 months of NC all this is happening and trying to put my best foot forward and make the best decision for myself, but its hard bc i still do have feelings for her, even given what had happened In order to make the best decision for yourself, you need to stop reading conflicting advice on an Internet forum and really sit down and think about things. If she is worth it to you, then talk to her. If she isn't worth it, then keep going as you are. If worst comes to worst, consult a relationship counselor. The only person who really knows her and you (and what you can handle) is YOU. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
musicman85 Posted March 19, 2013 Author Share Posted March 19, 2013 I actually have been thinking about things a lot, but I'm here on this SUPPORT forum for some help/guidance Found this in a thread i posted a while ago, by Redoxx, i think it still rings true and can be helpful for anyone that is in the similar situation I'm not even sure what I would say at this point. I think im going to give it some more time and see how things play out and keep my head straight. If they broke up, at the very least it means things are rocky for them right now, even if they went to Dallas together, who knows what the next few weeks/months will hold but I need to stay strong and keep doing me because I don't really even know whats going on, just what other people are telling me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Here's his story. He should have put this one behind him along time ago. I pray she doesn't suck him back in ] Yuck. You want to rescue her and she's used you to get over you. Girls like this don't want you but don't want to be alone. And I think you need to look internally at what was missing in you to fall so deeply for someone who couldn't contribute to a whole, healthy relationship. Have you been in therapy at all? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
musicman85 Posted March 20, 2013 Author Share Posted March 20, 2013 Yuck. You want to rescue her and she's used you to get over you. Girls like this don't want you but don't want to be alone. And I think you need to look internally at what was missing in you to fall so deeply for someone who couldn't contribute to a whole, healthy relationship. Have you been in therapy at all? I dont want to rescue her. I still have feelings for her, which I thought at this point would go away but I'm being honest with myself and know that i still do. Her breaking up with him is something that I thought would happen for a while, even if they are back together its the first time after the past few times that she has actually broken it off with him, which is huge. It means that all the problems she told me about even 8 months ago about him are still issues, and perhaps even more issues since then. It's strange to say you care for and have love for someone you haven't spoken to in so long, but I do. I'd be open to getting to know her again and seeing if we could rebuild a friendship to start. She doesn't know the guy I've become and the things I've done to improve myself and my life. The past year has been an incredible year of personal growth for me and I'm fortunate and lucky to have come out of this how I have with my family and friends supporting me. Which is something I hope anyone in my situation is able to have as a support system I'm going to give this some time and see what happens over the next few weeks. She's still "single" on Facebook but he's "in a relationship" according to a friend. So who knows what the future holds. I'm not happy that she's in a rough spot right now, I wish happiness for everyone. But it does make me wonder whats going on and if she is any closer to realizing that she lost something great in me and us I guess only time will tell, thanks for your support and suggestions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Romanticism Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Yuck. You want to rescue her and she's used you to get over you. Girls like this don't want you but don't want to be alone. And I think you need to look internally at what was missing in you to fall so deeply for someone who couldn't contribute to a whole, healthy relationship. Have you been in therapy at all? It's because some people don't like to experience the feelings of losing a lover/mate. They quickly find someone else so they don't have to experience the feeling for long. It's actually called being "addicted to love". They can't get enough of the feeling and quickly move to whomever gives it to them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 I would suggest being a better man, the man you have become, with a new woman ... perhaps an emotionally healthy one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doc Blaze Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Have some respect for yourself..she is out doing her thing and your waiting at the door like a lost puppy waiting for her to give you a treat...sorry to be so blunt... I know its hard but the way she acted towards the end of your relationship..her current one and now is not healthy....you deserve someone better Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
musicman85 Posted March 24, 2013 Author Share Posted March 24, 2013 Well they're "back" together now, so I guess that's that Anyone have any opinions or experience with something like this? Having an ex who wanted you back several times while dating someone else... telling you that they see themselves with someone like you.... telling you that they want to break up with their current bc then you go NC... they break up with that person then get back together with them 2 weeks later to the day I'm honestly not even that upset about it all, just thinking about things. Went on a date the other night that went pretty well and trying to focus my thoughts and efforts on other things, but still can't help but think about my ex and this situation from time to time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markie6 Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 I think what would bother me the most is her saying one thing and doing another. Words and actions. You did try for an awfuly long time to get her back, I feel certain she knew and knows you would take her back ( or at least give you a call if the day came when she entertained the idea) The limbo people put themselves in , while they wait and hope for the words to turn into actions is painful to watch from the outside and I sympathise. She is in that relationship, by choice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
squirl Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 Well they're "back" together now, so I guess that's that Anyone have any opinions or experience with something like this? Having an ex who wanted you back several times while dating someone else... telling you that they see themselves with someone like you.... telling you that they want to break up with their current bc then you go NC... they break up with that person then get back together with them 2 weeks later to the day I'm honestly not even that upset about it all, just thinking about things. Went on a date the other night that went pretty well and trying to focus my thoughts and efforts on other things, but still can't help but think about my ex and this situation from time to time She's probably going to do with him what she's being doing to you for the 8 months you have been broken up . . . and wind up with yet a new guy. I'd watch this one from the sidelines and keep doing "you." What you had with her is getting to be a long time ago. Live for now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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