ssgirl1010 Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 Why can't I just move on and get over him? This is sick. It really is. And, I feel so pathetic. How much longer is this going to take? Recently two guys - both whom I met through mutual friends - showed some interest in me but then I felt they faded away and lost interest in me. This set me back even more. I am missing my ex even more now. I really don't understand why I can't be happy again. 5 steps forward, 10 steps back...that is exactly how I feel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mg22 Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 How long has it been since you broke up with the ex? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ssgirl1010 Posted March 13, 2013 Author Share Posted March 13, 2013 too long for me to still be missing him... over 1 month... the relationship was short lived but extremely intense... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mg22 Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 Its normal, 1 month is way to soon ! iam going on 1 1/2 YRS and i still hurt but we were together for 5 1/2 years. Take your time to heal, then you can start dating again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DepthOfField Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 1 Month? That is nothing LOL! You're not pathetic. It will take much longer. Give yourself some more time to heal. Don't date for the next little bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surfjon Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 ((((hug)))).... What you feel is normal at this point. Time is the killer, you have to clench your fists.... It is hard, but be patient and time will heal... I like to distract myself with a beach walk, or a walk with my dog...everyone loves him, and it starts conversations! Talk to folks you don't even know, sit and watch the clouds, play a guitar! Everyone is here, most here have been thru this before and possibly dealing with it too, so post ALOT and read ALOT, it helped me in 2007 to know I could come here to Ena and someone would genuinely listen. Back in 2007, my friends and family soon grew tired of my situation and discussions of it, I was blessed to find Ena, I was never shut down here..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DepthOfField Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 my friends and family soon grew tired of my situation and discussions of it, I was blessed to find Ena, I was never shut down here..... Yup, I'm in the same boat. I can't talk to them anymore. Thank god for ENA. The kindness of strangers .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elliefiz Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 Im going to start posting on here a whole lot more and stop boring my friends with my tears and sad face all the time. Its been 2 months since i left our shared home but i only found out this week he was cheating on me and has moved her into our old home- i think thats set me back. Because i hurt right now more than i did the day i packed a bag and left. i want to reach out to him and ask why and beg him to work things out but i know i cant. The thing that makes it harder is im in a different country to my family and closest friends. i have friends here but my ex was my life for a long time and i feel i have no one now to do things with or make plans with- its horrid. i get asked along to do things with people but i dont want to go- im still at the stage i want to stay home and wallow in misery- is that normal? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ssgirl1010 Posted March 13, 2013 Author Share Posted March 13, 2013 mg22, DOF, and surjon THANK YOU SO MUCH! I'm having a bad day but glad I have ENA too. elliefiz - yes, it is normal. I am so sorry to hear about your heartache It is normal for you to want to sequester yourself, close in, and be alone. It is not healthy to do for a long time but it is normal. He cheated on you. He doesn't deserve you. It's hard, but please keep moving forward and don't ask him back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartbrokengir Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I agree with everyone, I'm so glad I found ENA. I spend a good chunk of my day on it, it really helps knowing there's people out there going through the same pain as I. I have learned a lot and I have been reading a lot of other people's posts and posting my opinions as often as possible, to help those in need. My friends probably don't understand why I would such a forum but as long as I am happy, that's all it matters. To reply to OP, everyone's different, it depends on the relationship and how much you've invested and how it ended to indicate how long it will take. Don't worry your heart is doing its job healing but you have to follow what everyone else's saying on here, that is NC!!! One month might be too soon, don't pressure yourself that day will come. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Webbley Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I love ENA! Stay strong, ssgirl! We're all looking forward to seeing that you're happy again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AutumnBorn Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 too long for me to still be missing him... over 1 month... the relationship was short lived but extremely intense... You don't need to stay busy, you need a plan. What are you doing to focus on yourself, not the relationship or what you lost? Working out? Studying a new language? Taking up a new hobby? Volunteering? Healing doesn't happen by accident. Make a plan. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimcwell Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 The most important thing I have learned from the kind people on ENA is that it takes as long as it takes. Trying to put a deadline on healing just adds more anxiety to an already stressful situation. I'm learning this as I go, 3 months post BU. good luck in your journey. On a side note, the other thing I have learned, is that if I truly love my partner, I have to let him do what he feels is best for himself at this time. That's true, unconditional love, and that was not an easy lesson to learn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surfjon Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I was really hurting a month ago trying to figure out how someone wants out but won't just do it already, enough of the "I'm not sure" zone, just do it, why do they make the one who loved them so freakin much and really tried actually do the walking away?? I think they feel like when we walk away from that crap, it's like we left them or something and they feel less guilt??!!?? Idunno, I don't care anymore....I don't think about her much in a positive way anymore, I lifted her mask, I see whats for real..... I'm so better now, happy to be out and free again.... peace to all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartbrokengir Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I was really hurting a month ago trying to figure out how someone wants out but won't just do it already, enough of the "I'm not sure" zone, just do it, why do they make the one who loved them so freakin much and really tried actually do the walking away?? I think they feel like when we walk away from that crap, it's like we left them or something and they feel less guilt??!!?? Idunno, I don't care anymore....I don't think about her much in a positive way anymore, I lifted her mask, I see whats for real..... I'm so better now, happy to be out and free again.... peace to all! Did she break up with you or is she still stringing you along cra*%? If so can you break up with her instead Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanzi Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I was really hurting a month ago trying to figure out how someone wants out but won't just do it already, enough of the "I'm not sure" zone, just do it, why do they make the one who loved them so freakin much and really tried actually do the walking away?? I think they feel like when we walk away from that crap, it's like we left them or something and they feel less guilt??!!?? Idunno, I don't care anymore....I don't think about her much in a positive way anymore, I lifted her mask, I see whats for real..... I'm so better now, happy to be out and free again... peace to all! Isn't it amazing how situations can twist around? I've done this a gazillion times before - even been through a divorce - so I know I can get through this. I hate the frustration though. Of all the emotions one can go though, for me, it is the sheer frustration that I allowed THIS to happen again. And I did, really. I was sooooooo stupid. Been there, done that, got through it ... been there, done that, got through it ... been there, done that, got through it ... been there, done that, I WILL GET THROUGH IT!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartbrokengir Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 Isn't it amazing how situations can twist around? I've done this a gazillion times before - even been through a divorce - so I know I can get through this. I hate the frustration though. Of all the emotions one can go though, for me, it is the sheer frustration that I allowed THIS to happen again. And I did, really. I was sooooooo stupid. Been there, done that, got through it ... been there, done that, got through it ... been there, done that, got through it ... been there, done that, I WILL GET THROUGH IT!!! Love that last paragraph! Will put that into my diary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanzi Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 Love that last paragraph! Will put that into my diary LOL, I was convincing myself more than anything!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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