I'm so very lonely...it's painful at times

[chickydoodle]

I just think we should all be as encouraging about how it is possible to make friends as we are about how it is possible to find love, because it is.

 

I guess my experience has been different. I have attracted so many whacky people ( girlfriends and partners), AND I have worked with sooo many women in my career, that I tend not to seek female company outside of work.

 

I have four really close g'friends . There is one I miss ( am in a different Country) but the others I would only need to connect with every few months.

But Zep it is a nice trait that you value the gift of frienship and your ability to bond with your g'friends does say good things about you.

 

Like Poppie I would be happy with a great guy

but Unlike Poppie I have resigned myself to never meeting anyone 'normal' who is good to me. I would prefer to be lonely/alone .

 

Poppie:

I commend you for steering away from ''the man upstairs'' ( sounds like the title of a book )

and for trusting your instinct.

I wish you luck in finding your 'true Love'.

[Poppies]

I do find it very hard not to have good male company.....and I do want a romantic relationship, more than a friendship with a woman. But i do agree that it is probably healthier to have both. However, I think both will be equally difficult to achieve. I don't think finding a friend will be any easier than finding a man. In both, you do need someone you have something in common with, have a connection with etc etc.....

Also with regard to middle aged men who are after younger women, I am hoping that a man around my age will want someone he can connect with and share with, so someone around his age. Also, with younger women, they may want children or already have children....so that may be a consideration too and may mean that some middle aged men will be more open to relationships wiht someone their age...as I say, with whom they have more in common and with whom they can look to the future. I don't know, there must be somebody out there SURELY?.......it does happen that people get together in middle age. It's just unbearable to think that one could live one's life without another intimate relationship.

 

have to say also that I always found it easier to connect with men and be in their company than women for some reason....and like Chicky have always worked surrounded by women. I don't think you should give up Chicky..if deep down a relationship is what you really want.

 

Ms Darcy - I'm interested in why you mention adoption.....? Only because it has come to my mind in recent months too, interestingly. But bringing up a child on your own is very difficult. I also agree that I do need to focus on my sleep, there is nothing worse than waking up exhausted every single day - it begins to affect you physically, emotionally and psycholgically, very badly. And with regard to self-help books, I've read a few and found only 3 to be enlightening. Most others are, to be frank, pretty much based on very shaky foundations based mostly on the author's personal experience/opinion and not terribly insightful, and spout ideas/theories that are just as tenuous as to those you find in astrology....or, as some would also say, religion...

[cocoon2012]

I thing the best matching person for you is a man who already Has a family anD kids...you help him growing his kids and he fills the existing intimacy gap of your life...good luck!..

[cocoon2012]

I should add that my worlds are only based on your inssisting For living your ego and again I repeat that a joyful life will only bloom and create from within...

[Ms Darcy]

I would want kids and so I just put that out there to consider. You might even consider slightly older children. I know it is hard but it is definitely possible.