Jesssi Posted February 25, 2013 Share Posted February 25, 2013 I was friends with this person for about 5 years. We've always be bestfriends. We constantly flirted and it was clear that he had a thing for me. i was in a terrible relationship before so i was scared to jump into another one. i always hinted to him that i just wanted to be friends and that took a toll on our friendship. I did like him but i didnt want it to ruin our friendship. One day he told me he was in love with me. I was so shocked but I was really happy. I decided to give it a chance and it didn't feel right at first. I was too scared to put my whole heart into it. I was so hurt before him and I didn't want to be hurt again. I rejected him basically. Now he cut all contact from me, he blocked me from everything and ignores me. If I am near him he walks in a different direction. I realized I made a big mistake in rejecting him and I poured my heart out to him the other day saying how much I miss them and sorry I am. He had a short response and continued to ignore me. There has been no progress. This has been going on for about 8 weeks now. I don't understand why he is still ignoring me. What should I do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted February 25, 2013 Share Posted February 25, 2013 I think you should accept that he is too hurt and is likely not willing to be hurt again. He may change his mind but you should not bank on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markie6 Posted February 25, 2013 Share Posted February 25, 2013 I don't understand why he is still ignoring me. Rejection can really hurt some people more than others. I think by acknowledging to yourself and him that you made a mistake you have done all you can and if he can't get over that hurdle, he just doesn't want it enough. It's a long time to be secretly in love with somebody and then to be rejected by them, some don't recover quickly from things like that. You have given it your best shot and give yourself credit for putting yourself out there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Includingme Posted February 25, 2013 Share Posted February 25, 2013 I know how you feel, believe it or not, ive been in a very similar situation.. It didnt work out for us. Although it may not seem like it right now, you two still carry a very special connection, wether or not its just a friendship connection, i dont know, but i think he's hurt very much like you were, and at this point, is simply rejecting you because of this hurt. I made the same mistake on a girl once, she was my best friend at the time, and we got into a relationship, but it just didnt seem right to me.. Maybe because she had been my best friend for so long, maybe from her dad being my physics teacher at the time (LOL) or simply because i was afraid of getting hurt again, idk. What i do know, is i was extremely selfish, and i feel horrible about it even to today. Maybe you should appologize to him again, this time, without the intent to get back together with him. Respect the fact that he has had his heart broken too, and he needs time to figure out his feelings and how he will respond to them. And ask him to tell you how he feels about the situation. He cant ignore you forever, you two have too special a connection for that. But give it time. I know its probably the hardest thing to do, but having patience can go a looooong way towards repairing a relationship. Given time, and a careful hand, you two may even become friends again, or perhaps, get together again.. Or maybe not, either way, you'll have resolved the issue, and both of you will be able to move on. I hope this helps! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metazoa Posted February 25, 2013 Share Posted February 25, 2013 He is def hurt at trying to get together with you for so long. You have already tried making it up, but with all the failed attemps he made it wont seem good enough to him right now. You are just going to have to live with it and move on for the time being till he is able to accept & forgive, if he ever does. Its not guaranteed that time away will always work and it may be a lost connection. But you gave some effort.. with being good friends before you may get back to that level however. Depends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Metazoa Posted February 25, 2013 Share Posted February 25, 2013 ..you could also keep trying btw. He might change his mind by the effort being put out to him too. Or it could piss him off. Go on a judgement call on his character. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jesssi Posted February 25, 2013 Author Share Posted February 25, 2013 This helped a lot! Time will tell. Thanks so much Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
as04qg Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 I want to offer you advice from the perspective of having been in your guy friend's shoes. As guys, we meet different types of girls throughout our lives but I think there are only a handful and sometimes just one that we form a special bond with and if we are inexperienced, it may be very overwhelming to express how we feel. We see ourselves spending memorable time with them, have a family and grow old with. It can be devastating for a man to not have this special women reciprocate especially if we have spend time together and are not just a distant crush. I know if we are inexperienced as men and may be insecure, we end up spilling these feelings out in a way that can be overwhelming for the girl. Nonetheless, we are expressing our deep and innocent desire to be with this girl. I think it is strange the way nature has made men and women because sometimes both of us have a special bond but the way we go about connecting can have mismatched timing and cause unnecessary hurt to the person that is in a vulnerable spot when we don't mean to. There are countless stories of people talking about how they rejected someone and years later they are still afraid to admit their true feelings. I wish we are not so stubborn to hold back from people and relationships we deep down want in our lives. You seem to me like a sweet girl and I hope this story has a happy ending. So, I want to help you. I think the rejection hurt him because he must've been scared of losing you but he took the chance. Sure he could've been a stronger man, a macho type that already knew how to turn a friend into a gf like a dating guru but he simply wasn't at that stage of his game and may be you like the innocent side of him. This experience might actually lead him to become a stronger man. You also put your emotions on the line when you came to realize that you do have feelings for him and you want him in your life. I think he doesn't know what your apology is about. Are you reaching out because you are realizing that you have undiscovered feelings of love for him and want a life together? or just because of remorse for how he was hurt? That wouldn't do it for him to risk his feelings again. If I was him, I wouldn't want to put myself into another situation where it turns out that I reconnected for anything less that mutual love. I'd like to know that the girl missed me the way I missed her...This is not to be thick headed but to protect my feelings and ensure that there is indeed possibility of a happy future for both of us. I'd like to know that I will mean as much to her as she has meant to me... Would she give up easily? or would she fight for me? This doesn't mean that us guys want a woman to act like a psycho and hunt us down.. We simply want to be shown that we are appreciated, understood and loved in return by a woman that is secure in herself to admit her feelings for us. You can do this by letting him know that you felt what he felt and you were confused earlier because of sudden realization of his feelings but you respect him for having the courage to let you know. You want him in your life and you see the both of you resume things into a beautiful life journey together but you will wait and respect his wishes whatever they may be. Tell him you will think of the happy moments spent together (mention a few best ones). Then I think you've done enough to show him that you understood what he was going through and made enough effort to show that his feelings are important to you. Anyway, I really hope you find happiness. I wanted to give you my perspective because I feel that the girl that let me go probably feels as you described. I offered you advice because this is how I pulled away after rejection and if she ever wants me back I'd wonder what changed.. I adore her very much but I wouldn't want to go through with it until I believe that she loves me in the way I've loved her and she has compassion for what I went through by losing someone very dear to me. No one wants to live through that twice. If you are too proud to do this then just move on and let him do the same. Otherwise, good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sckolitoes Posted June 30, 2014 Share Posted June 30, 2014 Hey there, something similar recently has happen to me. I hate myself now because i lost someone who could have been a very loving GF. That same person now does not want to talk to me or hang out with me like before. I lost both a friend and a lover... My best advice is to stay strong and you'll get through it, time heal all wound. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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