Dumped and relieved.

[laura-j]

Thank god for my best girl friend. She got me out of the house on a treasure hunt around the city, it was outside, not drinking, seeing parts of town I hadn't seen, I had to think and look for clues (I did really well, have a knack for the details, just not in my relationships... but any who.. and I felt pretty good for several hours, and still feel pretty good. It's been such a week of negativity, not just the relationship, but the friend's suicide, some other friend's very serious health issues, another friend drinking too much and on and on... This week has been like a vortex of negativity. So I did something nice and fun, without him. I even talked to other guys, not flirting just practicing being a human being. I've felt so weird all week.

 

I turned to my friend tonight and said "this is a bummer because ex would love it" and she said, "Well if he wasn't such a dumb**** by breaking up with you, then he would be here wouldn't he? But really he'd probably be moaning about something, so isn't this more fun?" I laughed in spite of myself. And she was totally right. In every way.

[laura-j]

Today's going to be a hard one, I think. My heart is aching for him. I want him to come through my door, hold me, kiss me, and tell me that he loves me still. Thinking that its so unfair that two people who love each other can't be together. I just spent 5 minutes crying my eyes out.

 

I know it's normal, and that it will pass. It wasn't as intense as it has been in the past. Breakups suck, but there's way out of it, but to go through it

 

I wish I could give you a big hug, do you have some friends locally that can take you out and about, take your mind off things? OR heck just have a good old fashioned cocktail/cry party with a friend or two?

 

It really can come out of nowhere can't it? My only best advice is to get out of the house as much as possible for as long as possible. Get to nature, go on a little overnight trip somewhere pretty or something... I find the more time in the house, the more bummed out I get. And we didn't live together, just I feel confined in my head and in my space.