MisterKoo Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 That's all well and good but it's obvious I wasn't talking about art. I was talking about relationships. And when it comes to human relationships solely, romance involves 2 people. If OP indeed wants to be with someone, then crushing over a YT singer without even talking to her is a waste of a tie on his part because it's not getting him closer to his goal. You believe that the OP's relationship with the YT girl is not considered as [romance] because it is only a "one sided" crush. Firstly, I was also talking about relationships. I was pointing out the similarity of (romantic) art with (romantic) relationships. The similarity being that the feelings/emotions can be one-sided. Secondly, link removed Section 1.1 - In romantic relationships During the initial stages of a romantic relationship, there is more often more emphasis on emotions—especially those of love, intimacy, compassion, appreciation, and affinity—rather than physical intimacy. Romantic love in the early stages is often characterized by uncertainty,[1] along with emotional anxiety that love may not be returned: Romance does not require both persons to be in-love with each other. It does not require reciprocation. Just because the girl does not love him back does not mean there is no romance. The WHO -->> Whether: 1. They both are in-love with each other (reciprocation), or 2. Only he is in-love with her (one-sided), or 3. Only she is in-love with him (one-sided), DOES NOT determine whether a relationship has romance or not. The HOW -->> Whether: 1. Creativity (Art) is involved, or 2. Creativity (Art) is not involved, DOES determine whether a relationship is romantic or not. Romance is not about WHO you love or WHO loves WHO. Romance is about HOW you love. Third (this may be a shocker), [romance] DECREASES!!! as the 2 people get to know each other better... LOL!!! Romance occurs at the beginning of a relationship and slowly fades away. Romance is "puppy love", "falling in-love", "swept of your feet", "head over heels". It is exciting, crazy, blind, foolish, creative, (Artistic). As the 2 people spend more time together and start to learn more about each other, the excitement/mystery fades (the romance fades), and "true love" is born. True love is "sacrificial" love. It is "familial" love. Therefore, [romance] would actually be the most perfect and accurate word to describe the OP's situation. He is being crazy, wild, reckless, foolish, dangerous, appreciating her, swept off his feet by a girl, and anxious that she will not feel the same way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 You're getting caught up in semantics. The point here is that it's waste of time and not fruitful or practical. I don't believe it's romantic. I think it's creepy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MisterKoo Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 I think this focus on the fantasy woman really demonstrates how lacking in mutual romantic love you are right now. The crush is filling an emotional void. I agree. Though heavy emotional experiences can very quickly teach humans about relationships. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capricorn3 Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 and anxious that she will not feel the same way. Yes,there is a very very high chance that she won't feel the same about him - she doesn't even know the guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MisterKoo Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 You're getting caught up in semantics. The point here is that it's waste of time and not fruitful or practical. I don't believe it's romantic. I think it's creepy. Providing advice with incorrect "semantics" is misleading, especially when it's not just a small discrepancy in meaning. Everybody who asks for advice on ENA should subconsciously know whether their plan is fruitful or practical. The only thing that benefits OPs is positive support. You advice is largely subjective "I don't believe", etc. I always use interchangeable words myself too but your opinion on romance unfortunately really is a 180 degree turn from the objective meaning. Yes it is a little creepy and creepy is why it is mysterious/romantic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Calling his puppy love infatuation a "romance" is an insult to real relationships. Advice is supposed to help. Pontificating on the artistic meaning of romance and filling his head with this nonsense that what he's doing is actually beautiful and beneficial, that is untrue and not helpful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 And yes, some of my advice is subjective. No one is 100% objective. It's called being human. We give the best advice we can but yes, our own opinions and feelings can affect our advice. That's why different people give different pieces of advice. I opt to give advice based on what OP needs to do to meet his goals. I don't quote Wikipedia en masse and then pat myself on the back. It doesn't do him any good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather Dawn Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 I figured someone would come up with this sort of response. Why exactly is it creepy? Is it any creepier than some people who bump into each other on a plane, or at a bar, or sit next to each other in class in college? Remember, I haven't done anything. I'd merely like to get to know this girl better - someone who is not so different from me. She's not a Hollywood actress or a Latin singing star who lives in Morocco. She's a science grad student who sings folk songs as an amateur. And she's based in the state neighboring mine. Because it's totally one-sided, and you're basically a fan of this girl - despite the fact that she's no one famous (it'd probably be LESS creepy, if she were, because you wouldn't necessarily be hoping for anything to come of it). The examples you cited all involve two people actually MEETING, so yes - it's creepier. You didn't do anything, but you're posting on a relationship forum about her. Which means your infatuation has reached the point where you're looking for advice about what to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather Dawn Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 I think this focus on the fantasy woman really demonstrates how lacking in mutual romantic love you are right now. The crush is filling an emotional void. Agree - as is his question about any of us having a romantic bone in our bodies. He's equating his infatuation and possible pursuit of this person he doesn't know to some great romantic gesture. Real romance is so very, very different. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erzerum7 Posted February 16, 2013 Author Share Posted February 16, 2013 I hope y'all have had your glut of spitting at my infatuation. Moving on from this sterile (and hostile) practicality, I will try to see if I can pull some family connection. It turns out my dad has met her dad at scientific meetings, and there's another mutual acquaintance as well who has dealt with her/her family on the singing side. Thanks for the encouragement from MisterKoo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted February 16, 2013 Share Posted February 16, 2013 I wish you luck, but be careful not to get your hopes up. Your connections are small, yes, but in the end you're still an infatuated fan and that will come through. And she may sense that and not like that. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meoww Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 I feel like you have posted about this or her before? I mean, personally, i think its so hard to meet people that im actually attracted to that id gladly respond to someone via internet if i thought they were actually interesting. The only problem for me is that the type of people who do that to me tend to not be the kind of people i am attracted to. In real life, i also get unwanted attention but sometimes when i get creepy messages online i feel more freaked out than i normally would. I think that it is just not commonly done because it is so direct. In real life, no matter how calculated our behavior, we can act like things are unfolding naturally, for example we can always just pretend we want to be friends or something, or that we just happened to run into each other at the same coffee shop but on the internet it can be perceived as threatening or bizarre. Most people dont want to be associated with that kind of stigma. But if you are being realistic about how she will view you as a potential partner, then i dont think it matters too much as long as you dont come on super strong. She might not be single though, have you thought of that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capricorn3 Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 I feel like you have posted about this or her before? I had a de ja vu moment too. OP: Is this the same girl you posted about in September 2011? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erzerum7 Posted February 17, 2013 Author Share Posted February 17, 2013 Yes, that's a possibility that she's taken. I have no idea. I think I agree with you, there really is no easy non-creepy way of contacting/getting to know this person. We just live too far apart and don't have enough overlap in our jobs/church/family/whatever to have much ground. Yes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather Dawn Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 I hope y'all have had your glut of spitting at my infatuation. Moving on from this sterile (and hostile) practicality, I will try to see if I can pull some family connection. It turns out my dad has met her dad at scientific meetings, and there's another mutual acquaintance as well who has dealt with her/her family on the singing side. Thanks for the encouragement from MisterKoo. Sorry you find us "sterile" and "hostile." I still find you creepy. So I guess it evens out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 OP, if you feel strongly about her, don't let anyone dissuade you, regardless of how unconventional it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calichick007 Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 Something that happened over the weekend made me think of this thread. I was subscribed to this guy's youtube channel back in like 2009 or so. At the time I was living in California and he was in Houston, where I'm from. I always thought he was SO cute and funny, and he seemed like he'd be a cool person to hang out with. Fast forward to last Saturday night. I moved to Houston in 2011... I'm out Saturday night at a bar and he's standing there. I introduced myself and told him I used to watch his videos and enjoyed them. He asked me for my number and we went out on Tuesday. I'm not calling it a love connection or anything, but it was so incredibly random and made me think of this thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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