PaintWithLight Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 His profile is telling the truth. He sees himself as single. You are just the last person to realize this. Time to face up to the limitations of LDR and see what is happening here. He wants you as a standby while he plays the field looking for someone he fancies better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calichick007 Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 Thanks Lambert, that's a great way to look at it. At least I found out sooner than later, when even more was on the line. And I suppose this is better than getting dumped out of the blue after he finds someone he likes better...at least I have some control in this situation. Great way to look at it. I hope you exercise that control!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marona Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 I'm going to do something with a fake profile so that he gets caught red handed with no way to make an excuse. I'm still working on the details...I'll keep you guys updated. I'm just so mad at this point. I love you for this. I can't wait to hear the rest of this story. No matter what, even if he didn't physically cheat and the closure thing, you should still be in your every right to end it, when he obviously keeps himself single and chats with other girls when you ARE committed. He deserves to be caught in the act, and feel the embarrasment over it. A good advice is to keep cool and not the anger take the best of you when you sit down, at least not before the very end where you are free to snap, but at first subside the anger and listen to this crappy explanation. Oh and make it real good by introducing yourself as the fake name you came up with to the profile, with the cutest little smile ever. It's almost like I can feel your anger towards this guy... I despise cheaters.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wilyone 11 Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 How old is your boyfriend? 25 is really young to commit to a long-term relationship. It's possible that he's having jitters about committing, and before he makes that incredibly important decision, he wants to see what else is out there. Maybe he doesn't want to tell you that he's afraid, or break up with you to date other people, because he's afraid he'll lose you altogether. So he's doing this on the side. It's not at all "right". But I'm just trying to put myself in his shoes, give him the benefit of the doubt, and figure out what might be going on in his head. Imagine that you are shopping for your wedding dress. You find what appears to be the perfect dress, but you want to see what else is out there before you commit to that dress. It doesn't mean you're not in love with the first dress, you just want to finish doing your due diligence. I'm not disagreeing with what everyone else is saying, I'm just suggesting another way to look at it. Also, was it absolutely clear that you both agreed to be exclusive? Sometimes a guy says something, and as women we hear something else. If you're in love with this guy, one option is to tell him what you found out, as undramatically as possible, and calmly tell him that you are looking for a guy who wants to commit to you, that he does not appear to be that guy, and break up with him. If you saw the OKCupid app on his phone, I think it's totally natural that you would search for him on that website. Go 8 weeks of no contact. If he's in love with you and doesn't want to lose you, he will get in touch with those feelings during the 8 weeks of no contact and come back to you before then, beg you to come back, and make a true commitment. If he doesn't, you've lost nothing and can go on to someone better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
louis112 Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 I'm in the same situation as you are right now, and I don't know what to do. Me any boyfriend have been doing long distance for some time now. I have found my boyfriend on 3 dating sites with the same profile name. I came accross this when using his computer to check my email and saw his internet browsing history. I feel so hurt and betrayed. It's been about 2 weeks that I have known this and it's been eating me up inside. I haven't yet confronted him about it, as I've been waiting for the right time...not sure when that is. There have been a number of things I've noticed over the last while that has made me think something was going on - he has been hiding his cell phone whenever I am around, he adds a number of girls to FB. It dawned on me that he must be adding these girls from meeting them on the dating sites. I thought we had a really great relationship, but clearly I was wrong Any advice would be great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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