troublegal05 Posted November 7, 2004 Share Posted November 7, 2004 Hey...these are poems I've been working on to put in my school newspaper I like writing alot and I hope to become a writer some day... I need some feed back on whether or not i should submit it into my school paper.... thanx Untitled Songs cry the truths of the lonely; the broken-hearted they reach the emotions of all who listen with heavy hearts mortifying solem souls to hopelessness Grasping the lives of the young it stillfully creeps through the weak touching all who've embraced this idea of love Its Dreary stay nests in the minds of many as an affair worth living There it will embed its name as a love once LOST a future once broken and the will to love BANISHED Time in a bottle: He lay grave; shadowed by grief his name remained ingraved in stone cast from life his image set for hopless minds. The unlived wasted and traded for selfpity a deep crease set on his brow a sign of meaningless worry a heart ache emptied by the bottle numbed from time he walks in dream like states pondering his FATE and "whats become of this old man" leaving his bottle of heart ache behind he opens the door to greet the new day only to shake the cold hand of a stranger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
troublegal05 Posted November 8, 2004 Author Share Posted November 8, 2004 Can someone please give me some feed back on my poems........I'm going to have to submit them tomorrow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delaurence23 Posted November 12, 2004 Share Posted November 12, 2004 should definatly submit them they are great Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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