EssexMan Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 When I was a kid sex was a big deal, but after years and years of getting plenty of it, it's like anything else, just something that happens - nothing to get overly excited about. Exactly. Merely "having sex" in and of itself is no big deal (unless you're a member of the "community" that seems to see it as a yardstick of success), just a minor pleasure among many in life. Occasionally, of course, it can be a major and memorable pleasure, but you can't schedule those occasions and I don't think it would be possible to have them every night or every week, any more than you could have one of the best meals of your life every dinner time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sickandangry Posted January 31, 2013 Author Share Posted January 31, 2013 Exactly. Merely "having sex" in and of itself is no big deal (unless you're a member of the "community" that seems to see it as a yardstick of success), just a minor pleasure among many in life. Occasionally, of course, it can be a major and memorable pleasure, but you can't schedule those occasions and I don't think it would be possible to have them every night or every week, any more than you could have one of the best meals of your life every dinner time. why cant you schedule it? what makes it happen then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EssexMan Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 theres a whole community of men who have turned to PUA because nothing else had worked for them. I'm sure it works for some types of guys, with some types of women, but I frankly doubt that the whole PUA "system" is overall any more successful than just behaving normally, if the metric of success is "number of times laid". Especially since it's unlikely to work for the same guy, with the same woman, more than a few times at most. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sickandangry Posted January 31, 2013 Author Share Posted January 31, 2013 When I was a kid sex was a big deal, but after years and years of getting plenty of it, it's like anything else, just something that happens - nothing to get overly excited about. That is a cavalier attitude. Many people are starving right now so its easy for you to take food for granted. Same with sex. If its always been easy for you, consider yourself lucky. You havent experienced what its like for it to be hard just like you havent experienced hunger and starvation in which case you must not speak about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EssexMan Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 why cant you schedule it? what makes it happen then? Mood and circumstances, I guess. Can you say "tomorrow when I wake up, I am going to be inspired to write a poem"? Well, of course you can say it, but it doesn't mean you will be inspired to write a poem. Maybe you can ensure your environment and circumstances are conducive to poem-writing, but you can't guarantee the inspiration. In the same way, you can't schedule/guarantee great sex. There are just too many things - in yourself, in the other person, and in the circumstances - that are simply beyond your control, though I realise that PUA is based on the misconception that you can control and influence everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pl3asehelp Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 theres a whole community of men who have turned to PUA because nothing else had worked for them. And if you look on this forum you will see how difficult it is for guys to even get a date and eventually get laid if at all. Its a bit arrogant to say its easy for every guy when you cant speak for every guy. Just consider yourself lucky if youve had more than others. I didn't say it was easy for every guy. Look, if it's not easy for you you can do 1 of two things. Either go the scam route or figure out what the guys are doing who it's easy for. For many, the scam route is a lot easier because the alternative requires you to have your sh** together in all areas of your life - you're going to need a career, at least one place of your own (no living at home), hobbies, etc - basically you need to have a totally independent and fulfilling life, but this is all hard, hard work. The scam is easy for anyone to do, and since most people are lazy and short sighted, this option is popular. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sickandangry Posted January 31, 2013 Author Share Posted January 31, 2013 There are just too many things - in yourself, in the other person, and in the circumstances - that are simply beyond your control, though I realise that PUA is based on the misconception that you can control and influence everything. how do you define great sex? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pl3asehelp Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 That is a cavalier attitude. Many people are starving right now so its easy for you to take food for granted. Same with sex. If its always been easy for you, consider yourself lucky. You havent experienced what its like for it to be hard just like you havent experienced hunger and starvation in which case you must not speak about it. Well, it could be easy for you too if you were willing to put in the work to make yourself a whole person. Nothing to do with luck, it's just plain hard work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sickandangry Posted January 31, 2013 Author Share Posted January 31, 2013 I didn't say it was easy for every guy. Look, if it's not easy for you you can do 1 of two things. Either go the scam route or figure out what the guys are doing who it's easy for. For many, the scam route is a lot easier because the alternative requires you to have your sh** together in all areas of your life - you're going to need a career, at least one place of your own (no living at home), hobbies, etc - basically you need to have a totally independent and fulfilling life, but this is all hard, hard work. The scam is easy for anyone to do, and since most people are lazy and short sighted, this option is popular. you said it was not hard for every guy which is the same as saying its easy. Look dont change the subject. Re read what I wrote to you just now if you've read it, and take note of it. Dont worry about if its not easy for me or not thats not the point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EssexMan Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 how do you define great sex? Sex that is significantly better than most sex. And yeah, sex can be "good" in a number of different ways, it can be erotically hot, or emotionally rewarding, or both of those things at the same time, or other things altogether, and so it can also be "great" in a number of different ways. I could tell you about the best meal I ever had, in Charleston, South Carolina, but it wouldn't sound much different than any other meal of oysters and rack of lamb. It was just perfectly right for me at that moment. It doesn't really need defining beyond that, and it might not have been perfectly right for you. Same with sex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sickandangry Posted January 31, 2013 Author Share Posted January 31, 2013 Well, it could be easy for you too if you were willing to put in the work to make yourself a whole person. Nothing to do with luck, it's just plain hard work. Again its not as simple as hard work. Do all the people who starve to death or suffer from disease do so because they have brought it on themselves? The causes are many and varied. Its no different with women. There are plenty of people out there who get plenty of sex and plenty of money who dont deserve it and havent worked for it. You are probably one of them. If you had any decency and experience you would recognise how unfortunate others are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EssexMan Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 Do all the people who starve to death or suffer from disease do so because they have brought it on themselves? Of course not. And sure, there are people who lack a satisfyingly full sex life, through no fault of their own. The difference is that people trying to improve the irrigation of their fields to feed their communities, or fighting off sickness with immunisations, are not in any meaningful sense "scamming" (mistreating, exploiting) the land or the diseases. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pl3asehelp Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 Again its not as simple as hard work. Do all the people who starve to death or suffer from disease do so because they have brought it on themselves? The causes are many and varied. Its no different with women. There are plenty of people out there who get plenty of sex and plenty of money who dont deserve it and havent worked for it. You are probably one of them. If you had any decency and experience you would recognise how unfortunate others are. Nope, I worked for everything I have, but you're thinking it's about money, which shows you're way off the mark. The hard work is in developing yourself as a whole and independent person, which is what allows you to be attractive by being yourself - that doesn't take any money at all. You can't compare this to a food shortage because the only way to get food you don't have is to purchase or barter for it - in other words it costs you something. To develop yourself into a whole person is free - anyone anywhere can do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rapunzel Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 dont know what youre talking about If you agreed to sleep with him, I assume he did not force you or hold a gun to your head. if a woman sleeps with a man, no matter how he influenced you to make it happen (other than the obvious - brute force/rape which apparently does not apply here), you - the woman - are 100% responsible for your actions - your own half. If he lied, told you he loved you when he didn't, said he wanted a serious relationship when he really wanted a one night stand - then yeah, he's a total jerk and you're better off. He's 100% responsible for his own actions - his half. So if he did all that, he has to live with himself and his own actions which could very well come back to haunt him. You just have to get over feeling like you were "played" when you wanted more. Yeah, that feeling sucks. If you willingly had sex with him, then you were a consenting adult and you decided to take the risk. You are responsible for what you did, not him. There are no guarantees of a relationship after sex. PUA or no PUA. From what I know, a PUA use tactics like "negging" (giving backhanded compliments that are thinly veiled insults), acting like he is not that interested in the woman or doesn't care one way or the other, insinuating that he has a bounty of other women and if you don't sleep with him there's another chick who will. Essentially PUA is all about men working on their inner "game" - which is self confidence, not being needy or pushy, not paying attention to beautiful women who are used to men fawning all over them, and learning how to manipulate women to get what they want. From what I've read, it is aimed at men who have no self confidence and no success with women yet of course, other men will use PUA tactics if they think it will help them get laid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sickandangry Posted January 31, 2013 Author Share Posted January 31, 2013 Nope, I worked for everything I have, but you're thinking it's about money, which shows you're way off the mark. The hard work is in developing yourself as a whole and independent person, which is what allows you to be attractive by being yourself - that doesn't take any money at all. You can't compare this to a food shortage because the only way to get food you don't have is to purchase or barter for it - in other words it costs you something. To develop yourself into a whole person is free - anyone anywhere can do it. So do you think all the guys on dating sites and shows, and forums like this havent developed themselves? Everybody has to get the basics like a job and a house. Yet finding a partner remains a challenge for those guys. You dont know what the reasons are any more than they do so its cavalier for you to say just work hard to develop yourself and you will find someone. Just retract what you said about it being easy. Do you not even have the balls to do that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EssexMan Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 If you willingly had sex with him, then you were a consenting adult and you decided to take the risk. You are responsible for what you did, not him. There are no guarantees of a relationship after sex. PUA or no PUA. I know what you're saying and I see the argument, logically. Of course the woman bears equal responsibility for the actual act, if it's consensual. I just think there's something really ugly about systematically lying to people and potentially raising false expectations in order to get into their underwear. I wouldn't deny that many men and women alike do it now and again, without really thinking about what they're doing...but to make it a conscious policy, to make it the whole approach to the opposite sex? The fact that the system's exponents tend to have a rather bitter, grim, joyless attitude toward the whole thing maybe doesn't help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not a rookie Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 I was a pua wingwoman for some time. They used to try to pick me up at my local bookstore so I decided to "join" their community to learn all about their tricks and strategies. So...no.... they wouldn't be able to trick me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sickandangry Posted February 1, 2013 Author Share Posted February 1, 2013 I was a pua wingwoman for some time. They used to try to pick me up at my local bookstore so I decided to "join" their community to learn all about their tricks and strategies. So...no.... they wouldn't be able to trick me. they could trick you because they are always learning new ways. If it didnt work there would not be a whole community of them who have already achieved it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not a rookie Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 Although I do not "sarg" with them on a frequent basis, I am still a member of their community, mostly online. I read all their posts and discussions. Here is one of their new techniques; After you go on a date with a woman, propose that she invites you over for the next date and cooks for you. If she declines disappear on her or show disinterest. Rinse and repeat until she invites you over and sleeps with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not a rookie Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 Being a player existed long before the PUAs so if you know how "the game" is really played, you do not need "communities" or "PUA-Gurus". For example most PUAs or their gurus have no clue about the 200 miles rule. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Seeker Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 If youre a woman and and a guy slept with you and you later found out he had applied pick up artist tricks on you in order to **** you, how would you feel? I wouldn't care. I wanted to see if he was good in bed. LOL I wonder if the guy I tapped long time ago used PUA. I couldn't tell. But he was horrible in bed. PUA or not, I'm not going back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BritterSweet Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 On the 5th page, and no response to my question. Sickandangry, judging by your previous thread and how you've been responding to other posters here, it looks like you are searching for some sort of validation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not a rookie Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 I wouldn't care. I wanted to see if he was good in bed. LOL I wonder if the guy I tapped long time ago used PUA. I couldn't tell. But he was horrible in bed. PUA or not, I'm not going back. Well said. PUAs think that with their strategies and tricks they can manipulate women into sleeping with them. Women will sleep with them only when they want to, regardless of their "strategies". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 I think PUA is ridiculous for two different reasons...but I don't think that people should be all that offended by it. My rationale for that is tied into why I think it's ridiculous: 1. PUA is dishonest, but it's just a more extreme version of commonly-given advice. "You have to be happy and confident and positive to attract women...even if you aren't, you just need to fake it until you make it!" I've had men and women alike give me that advice. If being dishonest like that is okay, why wouldn't PUA be okay? If someone thinks that "fake it until you make it" is ethical, than PUA must be, too. 2. PUA puts women on a pedestal. If I found out that there was an entire community of women trying to figure out how to sleep with men...well, on behalf of my gender, my ego would be pretty flattered, and I'd be thrilled. "Oh, this male subculture thinks we're so important and awesome that they've devoted their pathetic little lives to trying to sleep with us! How tiresome." I'm sorry, but I'd love to have a "problem" like that. I can't understand why women wouldn't want to encourage PUA behavior, since it basically turns them into objects of fascination. As a socially-challenged guy, I was tempted to try PUA. But I think it's dishonest, and as much as I'm obsessed with sex, I don't want to devote that much time/effort to trying to pick up women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonny15 Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 Being a player existed long before the PUAs so if you know how "the game" is really played, you do not need "communities" or "PUA-Gurus". For example most PUAs or their gurus have no clue about the 200 miles rule. What is the 200 mile rule? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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