finallystrong Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 She claims I have an anger problem. I ended up seeing a therapist for it, and according to the therapist, as well as friends/family, I have valid reasons to be upset. An example would be, she wanted to see a guy she has never met who lives halfway accross the country, by herself. She claims to know him very well, but has only talked to him online. She has talked to him online for 5 or so years, but to me, it wasn't even about jealousy. I could care less in that aspect, but I was more concerned about SAFETY. For 1, she KNOWS the guy likes her, for 2, she KNOWS the guy hates me as well. He could do something to sabotage our relationship and she was about to let it happen. We argued, she called me controlling, etc... That was a while ago. But last week, I was driving her home. I told her, although I do tend to get angry and say things when I'm upset, It would make it a lot easier if you weren't as difficult or hard on me in certain ways. She FLIPPED OUT. Telling me that I am just blaming her and not taking any responsibility for anything. Telling me I don't actually believe that I have an anger problem and that she isn't going to stick around for another blow up. I tried to give her an analogy of someone who is trying to lose weight should not be with someone else who is going to continuously eat unhealthy, which would make it harder on the person who is trying to lose weight to better themselves. She told me, no, it's still 100% the person's fault and they need to take full responsibility. And I said, Ok, that's fine, but would you not agree that if one person is trying to better themselves, but the other person's behavior doesn't change, they shouldn't talk anymore. And she responded with, "Fine don't talk to me then. I'm done with you. " Last Friday she deleted me from Facebook. Then a few days ago she texted me saying I'm an a**hole and stuff like "have a nice life", etc.... I've been ignoring her, but any recommendations on how to deal with this? Should I continue to ignore her? Thanks, Cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 Yes, ignore her. She behaves badly and flips the blame to you. Not someone with whom you should be involved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 Ignore. Run away. Ignore. She is acting like a four year old, which I assume she is not. Do not respond in any way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EssexMan Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 Ignore her. Everything sounds bad, bad, bad. If she comes back with a genuine-sounding apology, that's when you can reconsider. But not before then, and I wouldn't hold your breath waiting for it. I normally dislike the default attitude of many ENAers to dump at the drop of a hat, but there isn't a single thing in your message that makes her sound like a remotely empathetic or trustworthy person. Of course, if that's not the whole picture, do expand on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MapleCanuck Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 When a person allows an outside influence on the relationship (This guy knocking you), it's over. Your ex if emotionally weak and clearly isn't committed to you. She'll most likely meet this guy and be in " love" until this guy's true self pops out. You'll hear from her when she misses you and this guy isn't the imaginary online lifeline any longer. Run and don't let her back in. Have self-respect. Remember, it's not your Job to fix this girl. You need to be happy and deserve a loving relationship. Good for you for seeing a therapist. There are more women out there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
becomingkate Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 It wouldn't be acceptable at all to go meet a pssoible sex partner when you're in a committed relationship, and it's probably a good thing she flipped and broke up with you. Then a few days ago she texted me saying I'm an a**hole and stuff like "have a nice life", etc.... I've been ignoring her, but any recommendations on how to deal with this? Should I continue to ignore her? I know I can be a witch, but if she texted me, I'd reply with "Thank you so much! I am already doing so much better and have you to thank for that." Then I'd ignore her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finallystrong Posted January 24, 2013 Author Share Posted January 24, 2013 Ignore. Run away. Ignore. She is acting like a four year old, which I assume she is not. Do not respond in any way. She's 24. And yeah, I'm running... or TRYING to at least. Yes, ignore her. She behaves badly and flips the blame to you. Not someone with whom you should be involved. I know. Ironically, it was sort of a relief she cut me off. lol Of course, if that's not the whole picture, do expand on it. There's more, but you could probably get a pretty picture by reading some of my old threads. Here's a fun one: Run and don't let her back in. Have self-respect. Remember, it's not your Job to fix this girl. You need to be happy and deserve a loving relationship. Good for you for seeing a therapist. There are more women out there. I sort of just finally realized this. It's not my job to fix anyone, and there are more women out there. Although it's simple, most people just get stuck on one person and don't let go because it's comfortable, yet so unhealthy. Like mine I know I can be a witch, but if she texted me, I'd reply with "Thank you so much! I am already doing so much better and have you to thank for that." Then I'd ignore her. Hahhaha, I like you. Want to go on a date? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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