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Valentines Day Dread


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screw valentines day! for some reason, for 23 years i have never believed in it, with or without a boyfriend, i always thought it was pointless. maybe an excuse to go out for dinner but then again - that's something you do any other day of the year.

 

for some reason because this year i have been through a bad break up involving him leaving me for the person he cheated on me with - i feel as if its going to be a horrendous day, because i know he'll be with her.

 

why does my whole perspective on valentines day that i've believed in all of my life change just because of whats happened? i know that if i was still with him i wouldnt have made a big deal of it... i'll be treating it like a normal day, hoping it goes quick and leaving it behind.

 

whatever, he's a ****** anyway!

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I remember last Valentines day very well Me sat in a pub blind drunk watching couples smooch and crush roses into each others mouths. My ex was hightailing on a dating site and I had only just found out. I left the building for the last time feb 15th then it all collapsed in totality. Living hell. But that was then and this is now. I dont care 2 hoots about valentines day apart from the fact it means my Son is arriving the day after ha ha. Try not get hung up 1 day and especially this day which I have always hated as it is so false and just cheese!!! It will pass as all the others do no matter what your situation. the 14th soon becomes the 15th and so on!

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Im just trying to remind myself that theres millions of other single people on Valentines Day. it's hard to look at it that way when my ex replaced me but whatever if she's happy without me I dont want to be with her. I think it would kill me to know she got engaged though on Valentines Day this year.. after going out with her for 4.5 years, and her knowing this guy like 4 months, I dont know but it wouldnt surprise me, anything to hurt me more she would probably do it.

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Although I am no longer in a relationship, I am most definitely not spending Valentines Day alone!

 

I have planned to go to dinner with one of my single female friends and then I am coming home to have a glass, or two, of wine with my mother.

 

I will be using this day as a measure of how far I have come since the breakup!

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I don't dread it that much, last year was harder- eventhough I pushed myself and went on a date. I actually look forward to doing something, buy those heart shaped chocolates for myself, buy flowers. I will either go to a play alone or with a friend or I will ask other single girls to go for a drink. Or I'll stay in with the cholocates and the film. It's like a solo date and I love that ! I used to have solo date night even while I was in my past relationship.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I want to not feel bitter every time I see two people in love, but it always reminds me of how I felt with my ex, and of how he left me despite that. I'm going to be waitressing on V-day no doubt serving happy couples galore, so, yeah. dreading it.

Honestly though, my ex sucked at holidays. It would have been disappointing even with him because he doesn't really care about valentines day. Last year I called him crying because I thought he had forgotten so he hurriedly bought me flowers. He didn't care. Next guy I fall for, I hope he's more romantic.

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Alright so I have to know, how are people going to handle the big Valentines Day..... my brother is coming here to visit that day, I only see him a few times a year, it couldnt be better timing for me, it will take my mind off things that night, Im so happy for that. I will still have a very hard time probably when I do go to bed, its got to be the worst holiday after getting over a breakup, well 2nd to Christmas, and maybe the person's birthday falls in there somewhere, but its definitely in the top 3 worst days of the year though for someone who had their heart shattered and was replaced with someone else... its going to be a hard night, good food with family I'm hoping will be the answer for me, what is everyone else doing?? Just try not to picture your ex in bed with someone else, it will just set you back and set you up for more heartache.

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Definitely not looking forward to Valentine's day; not like I've ever had a Valentine but every year is the same. I still believe in true love and it melts my heart when I see happy couples. I am romantic and passionate, my recent ex loved that and so did girls before her, but I'm rarely able to share that let alone on Valentine's Day.

 

Unfortunately I was going to wish my ex a Happy Valentine's Day but she is hanging out with her ex and I'm sure they will be doing something for that day. If she wasn't hanging out with him that might be a different story but she needs to figure out what she wants in her life.

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I'll manage through it somehow. I got through Xmas, New Years, His birthday, his engagement, and his religious family day, i'm sure i can get through Valentines day.

not sure what i'm doing yet. Working most of the day, then i might just spend it with a friend and watch a movie or something. Not sure.

 

Limiya

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All of my close friends have boyfriends, so I will be staying in with my mother and her husband! However we'll be having a nice tea and watching a film, just like we do most nights, so it will feel like a regular day.

 

However I will be going shopping during the day and treating myself to something new, and having a bit of a pamper night.

I've never believed in it even when I have had a boyfriend so it's not as if I'm missing something I've done for years!

 

Yeah I know he'll be with 'her', but I know I certainly don't want to be with such a horrible person. So good luck to her!

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Last year, my then freshly departed ex was already on a month long tropical vacation with the guy she left me for (I only found out about it due to a mutual friend). Anyway, it had only been a couple months since she had moved out (!), and I was an absolute mess, and she was already on a lover's getaway.

 

I think weekends harbor more dread for me than V-day does ....so much free time to share together.

 

Just remember, your ex once stared you in the eyes, on V-day, and probably said something like "I will love you forever." What a crock!

 

Think of V-day and a prime opportunity for disappointment ("he didn't do anything special" or maybe "it was just like v-day with X").

 

Take the magic out of the hype. Just some thoughts.

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I wanted to share some inspiration for those of you who are dreading Valentines Day, I know its a celebrity and you cant always believe the media, but here's an interesting story I saw today regarding Katie Holmes, she divorced Tom Cruise 7 months ago after 6 years together and she seems to be loving her single life, and even has her own plans for Valentines Day.

Click below to view the link on link removed.

 

link removed

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I feel bad for a lot of people on here, your breakups sound terrible! I can understand not wishing someone who did you wrong happy v'day.

 

I actually may wish my ex Happy Valentine's Day, some of my friends (girls) think I should do it. Our BU was necessary, she isn't over her ex but still has feelings for me. She is hanging with her ex to work out her feelings but they aren't dating as of last week at least. I'll find out I guess!

 

I do wish many of my female friends happy v'day though so it won't be totally strange. I'm not 100% sure I'll do it though... still mulling it over.

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It's a tough day for sure. Not only that, my ex's birthday is the 16th and the 5 year anniversary of the day we met is the 17th, so the whole weekend is going to suck.

 

I've decided to go out tomorrow night and try to meet new people through a Meetup, with other people in a similar situation. Beats staying home alone.

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I just want to say F you Valentine's Day.

 

Actually, I saw an image being passed around on the social networks that said something like some people don't have a mother on mother's day or a father on father's day which kind of put things in perspective.

 

Image

 

All those people going on about how you shouldn't celebrate your love just on one special day but all year around.. well, what do you know? They are always couples. They have 365 days a year with which to celebrate it. And us? We have zero.

 

I had to ban myself from not looking at my social network sites (after actually forgetting it was Valentine's day and then seeing all the "ooh look at all my presents/roses/restaurant dinner/home cooking I got.. aren't I special?" photos) but it's gonna be hard tomorrow when I'll still have to scroll past all those lovey dovey "look how great my boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife is.. isn't it great I'm part of the couple club"...

 

and then soon it'll be Mother's day and although I am grateful I have a mother.. I'll be bombarded with pictures of all my girlfriends who are mothers themselves and saying how great their kids are ("Oooh I got so many kisses and cuddles from..."_), and how lucky they are, and how they were spoilt by their husbands blah blah blah.. it never ends. I thought getting through Christmas and NY was all I had to do but it's a year round "you suck because you're not part of a couple/family" thing.

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I agree, it seems that society is based around having a significant other.. thats probably why the divorce rate is like 50%, people rush into relationships and have kids because well thats what they were taught.. well Im here to say that alot of us going through this heartache are not in the minority, I think alot of people have their heart broken at least once, so dont feel bad and unusual. Those happy people that cant do wrong eventually have some kind of setback in their lives, everyone has their dues to pay in the end.

To all the weak and broken hearted, Happy Valentines Day, love yourself first, you deserve the very best and be true to yourself, honest, faithful and kind and you'll get what you deserve.

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I don't know how I am doing so fine on valentines day, but it's really no big deal. Sure, my first girlfriend broke up with me on valentines day; and sure my last girlfriend made last valentines day so amazing; and sure I don't have someone to spend it with today. But I love myself. I don't need someone to buy me chocolates - I can buy them myself. I love myself. There are benefits to being in a relationship - but being single really has its perks as well. I am choosing to celebrate today "Happy Singles Day" instead of Valentines day. I can celebrate the lack of drama, of being able to spend my money only on things I like, of being free to do whatever I want whenever I please.

 

If I wasn't single, I would not be free to meet the next love of my life.

 

Maybe I'll feel bad again tomorrow, but I refuse to be mopey today.

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