Ncr23 Posted January 22, 2013 Author Share Posted January 22, 2013 It doesn't sound as though it has anything to do with you though. Are they generally fearful people? My mom is very paranoid and worries a lot. Like if I go to grab my keys from the drawer to get something from my car she will say "WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!" And then when I try to talk about staying out late she always brings up the fact that there are drunk drivers out at night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ncr23 Posted January 22, 2013 Author Share Posted January 22, 2013 I guess my point is that in my experience (mine and that of friends) this is how most parents are to some degree. Again, your situation does sound extreme. But it's not a reflection of you and how mature or responsible you are. Fighting them on it or trying to reason with them is unlikely to have much effect and it seems like it will actually lead to you being more unhappy with the situation. Just my take. Sometimes I feel like I should just do my best to be patient and accept their rules. I don't want to fight with them but maybe in time they will loosen up a little and let me stay out for special occasions. Like for example my boyfriend's dad's band is playing a show soon and it doesn't start til 10pm and will go until most likely 2am. I'm determined to go to that show, I want to go so bad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ncr23 Posted January 22, 2013 Author Share Posted January 22, 2013 Relevant: image removed Yeah, I get that you're still in school. Any chance you can hang on one more year? Yea I am going to hang in there, it will give me a chance to save up some money as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ncr23 Posted January 22, 2013 Author Share Posted January 22, 2013 Why don't you consider supporting yourself? I realize it might take a bit longer and you might end up with a little debt, but do you really want to get into a situation where your boyfriend is helping to support you financially? What happens if you break up? It sounds like you're just going from one situation where you don't take care of yourself to a similar one. I am going to look into it but I'm going to see what type of financial aid the school I want to go to offers and just try to take out loans. But I do think about all the what ifs. I have time to think about all of this though and maybe in the near future things will get better with my parents. I am trying to be optimistic lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue92 Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 I think, in this case, a little rebellion will do you good. You are way, way, way, too old to have a curfew at this age. If you were still a teenager or even 18, that would be one thing, but 20? In one year, you will be legally able to drink but not able to leave your house at 9:00? This is what I would do in your situation. I would tell my parents what time I will be home and come home at that time no matter what they said. If they don't like it, too bad. I know that way sounds a little harsh, but they will get over it. The only reason why your parents are still enforcing such a silly rule on you is because you are allowing it to happen. You are still letting yourself be their "child" by coming home when they say. If you want to be treated like an adult, than just act like one. Take it from a fellow 20 year old. I would have missed out on a lot of great nights too if I had to worry about being home at a certain time... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bulletproof Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 The only reason why your parents are still enforcing such a silly rule on you is because you are allowing it to happen. Actually, I think they are enforcing it on her because she lives in their house, and they pay for everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huntress0527 Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 I do not recommend being rebellious since they could cut you off in an instant. Unfortunately, it comes with the territory with living at home. They are supporting you, paying for school, feeding you, putting a roof over your head so you have to live their rules. They can easily say ok you need to move out then since you are over 18 they do not have to support you. I know it's hard when you have strict parents. My parents are the very fearful type as well. I'm married and live with my husband and I still have to call them once I get home after a visit at their house. They only care about your well being and are being that way for what they think is your own good. I would stick it out as long as you can versus moving out and working and going to school. If you can sit down with them and discuss an extended curfew and explain you always have your phone on maybe they'll be willing to bend a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snny Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 Move out or sneak out. It's what I ended up doing during my senior year of high school since my parents were super strict about curfew too. I never got caught sneaking out and was back by 4 am. Good times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ncr23 Posted January 24, 2013 Author Share Posted January 24, 2013 I fear being rebellious because they can cut me off on an instant or even take away privileges like my car or phone. I think I am just going to keep trying to talk to them. I know they are just trying to protect me and take care of me but sometimes they can be too extreme and I don't want to become resentful of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pl3asehelp Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 I know my mom can't sleep unless I'm home but it's not fair that I'm missing out on going out and being 20 because of that. I know parents have rules but one day I'm going to look back on all of this and realize that I missed out on so much. I will be working a lot and you are only a kid once. Sorry that this is so long but I just really need help You're right you are only a kid once and for you at 20, that time is over. Time to move out and start paying your own way and not answering to anyone other than your boss about how you spend your time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LikeWater Posted February 22, 2013 Share Posted February 22, 2013 People can disagree all they want, but Blue92 is spot-on with what she's saying. I remember back when I was 18 I eventually just had to tell my mom, "NO, I will be home at THIS time. See you then, bye!" She hated it and I hated upsetting her, because I've always been close to my mother, but it had to be done. You should be allowed to have some freedom even if your parents are still supporting you. You guys really think that parents that are this fearful of the world and this incredibly sheltering of their kid are going to kick her out of the house and force her to find her own place? Haha... no. Not gonna happen. I know it sucks but eventually you just have to make it crystal clear to your parents that you're an adult and you can stay out as long as you want to. They WILL eventually get over and accept that you're not their little baby any more. But ultimately it's up to you, of course. Either keep dealing with it and abiding by every single thing they tell you to do or just start doing what you want to do. Your choice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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