Attraction differences Men and Women

[shackazu]

So I recently met up with my ex of four months. The first two days of visiting her city I had dinner at her house with her family, which went well, then the third day we talked an I told her I still loved her and wanted to give us another chance.

 

Her response was that she had moved on completely, that I wasn't what she wanted, that she didn't love me and couldn't see a future with me--even though she said that if I were to ask her on a first date today she would accept, that she had no emotional attraction to me because of the way I had hurt her (wouldn't commit, she felt neglected) and because she just realized that she wants someone more emotionally developed than she is, not less, and that she doesn't think we are soulmates because of how quickly she got over me.

 

So my question is this--how does attraction work in women? She seemed to have enough physical attraction and to my personality to admit that she would go on a date with me, only that se saw no future for us and therefore wouldn't.

 

Hypothetically, several years down the line, could this change if I changed into a more mature person? Since she still seemed to have physical attraction to me? Or is this more final for women than men? For example, I wouldn't go out with my previous ex both because I don't find her that physically or personally attractive anymore...and I know I don't want anything Lin term with her.

 

Any hope of my ex ever changing?

[lifehappens]

I'd say definitely, there's a chance. Women say what they feel in the moment, and that was what she truly felt when you asked her. But women are also creatures of emotion, so her answer might be a complete 180 the very next day.

 

Is there another guy in the picture? This is usually a factor when she's got her heart crushed by you, and while getting over you, met someone whom she felt was better. Her comment about emotional development seems to point in that direction. How did the break up happen?

[buddha55]

how do you go from, "Hypothetically, several years down the line, could this change if I changed into a more mature person? "

 

to "Any hope of my ex ever changing?"

 

Anyway, cant say because we are not her. I guess there is always a chance, but from the sounds of it... she is OVER it. When I have been in her position, (break up) you start to see, "wow. that was a terrible match/really not good for me" and once you lose those feelings.. they don't come back.

[Clueless90]

Women are emotional creatures and lately I've noticed my ex who I kinda hated for a long time and felt like there is no chance (I've been thinking you know what maybe I would consider dating him again). Short story we were together almost 2 years in college, been broken up for about 3 years and on and off hes asked me for second chances and such through those 3 years.

 

Shows things can change but honestly don't sit there waiting and twiddling your thumbs for the day she fancies toying with the idea of dating you, as with me you can see if things were to take a different direction its probably a lot further down the road and even then its not guaranteed.

[boo121]

it works both ways in men and women actually, but women will respond more to your personality (generally speaking) both wired up differently. So there are things you can do i.e. teasing, making fun of, being confident, leading, bit cocky, witty, being yourself, secure, etc that women will respond to - im pretty sure i wrote a thesis on this once?