Need a little clarity.... Just friends, FWB, casual relationship leading to more

[PaintWithLight]

Pilot, sorry if you view our urging of caution as negative. As she mentioned, she has been through this song and dance with this fellow before. For every guy that seeks out a former love because they realize what they have lost, there has to be an equal amount who want more spin around the park just for sex, to increase their self esteem or just because they have nothing better on the horizon.

 

This guy has had plenty of time to clearly announce his intentions. If he is actually interested in a relationship, he could have easily stated this by now. He is enjoying the girlfriend experience without actually saying that he wants her as a girlfriend. The mere absence of a clarifying statement on his part is cause enough for caution.

[buddha55]

I agree with paintwithlight.... and as I said before, if he realized what he had lost he would be much more eager to show that.

[Ms Darcy]

I am not trying to be mean here although I can see how it may feel that way. I just recall all the threads with this guy and he always has one foot out the door.

[The_Seeker]

All I know is if someone is not able to communicate you directly no matter how much they shower you with affection through words and actions, then that person is not for you.

 

Why? Because they keep on dodging the questions/being vague/wishy washy/indecisive.

 

LOL So do whatever you got to do with him. In the mean time, go find someone else. Life is too short to be hanging onto someone and trying to figure things out when you can find someone who wants the same things that you want.

[Daisy11]

Okay so over the past week, the "ex" has continued to contact me every day. I haven't seen him in person since last Wednesday when he was over at my house helping me hang something and he told me we would talk about not being friends at a later date. Well we've talked every day since but the subject hasn't come up. I didn't expect to see him last weekend since he had his son but he did make an effort to call me every day or at least send a text. He asked me out to dinner tonight but it was more so he could borrow one of my snow mobile helmets since he's going on a "guy's trip" this weekend and they needed an extra. He actually bought the helmet for me when we had dated and I'm not going to be using it so I'm letting them borrow it.

 

I still don't know what his intentions are since we haven't defined what it is we are exactly doing. But based on everyone's comments here I think it's pretty obvious to an outsider's point of view. And I guess I can say I'm not really "feeling it" since he hasn't really defined what we are doing by spending time together and talking every day and since I've gotten vibes that he's just into FWB that's kind of a turn off for me. Now I feel like I'm in a sticky situation though because I do like spending time with him and enjoy our close friendship but I really dont' think I'm going to get what I need from this if we aren't actually dating. How do I approach the subject without totally ruining what we have as friends?

 

Also, over the past week or so a guy I know from town and have actually known my entire life (I dated his best friend in high school) has been messaging me on Facebook whenever I'm online. He is always asking about my day or questions about my life and I really didn't think much of it except last night he sort of indirectly asked me out...... and I totally blew him off! Not meaning to! This morning I kind of realized my mistake. I guess I've been so preoccupied with the confusion with my ex and talking to him on a daily basis that I'm not really looking elsewhere when maybe I should be. This other guy asked me what I had done last night and I mentioned I went for sushi with one of my girlfriends and his response was "Shoot, I have a groupon for a sushi place that I need to use before the month is over. I need to find someone to bring with me, it's not like a date since I have a coupon, ha ha". And my response was "Oh, I love that place! (he had told me where it was to) you have to get the Godzilla roll!". And I went on raving about what food was good there and what he should order when he goes......... totally ignoring his hint that we should go together. Crap. I just have known this guy for so long and have always thought of him as a "friend" that I guess I didn't really pick up on it. But when I think to myself what I would like in a relationship and don't think of any specific guy in particular, he really does fit a lot of my wants.

 

Now what!?

[Ms Darcy]

Stop messing around with the ex. He's not your friend.

 

Ask the new guy out for sushi.

[Daisy11]

Stop messing around with the ex. He's not your friend.

 

Ask the new guy out for sushi.

 

Ha! Love your response. Made me smile.

 

How do I ask this new guy out? "So, since I totally and blatantly ignored your hint about going to dinner now I'm back tracking.... want to take me out?" I'm thinking that might not be the smoothest of responses to send him. Feel kind of stupid like I have my tail between my legs with him now.