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Young woman, 19, flirts with me and now I'm attracted to her.


DrewInOmaha

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Well, thank you. It's true that my attraction to her isn't BECAUSE she's 19. She's not a cheerleader with big boobs. She doesn't dress 'sexy' or provocative. She's just a very nice person with a warm heart.

 

Anyway, the deed is done and I think it's over.

 

I took a mixture of advice and decided that I would tell her that I felt like I was spending too much time with her and that I felt like, perhaps, I enjoyed it a little too much. That perhaps our relationship was borderline inappropriate though we'd never said or done anything that would be considered such.

 

She really didn't say very much, although she agreed that our relationship might be causing problems with her boyfriend and that she thought it was okay though because she deleted her text messages. This was a sign to me that perhaps she was hiding our friendship.

 

Anyway, I don't really know where it is now but it's out there and I expect that I wont be hearing from her any more.

 

I figured I'd watch facebook to see if she removed me from her friend's list and after a period of time, perhaps a week, I'd do it myself.

 

I really feel horrible about the whole thing but at the same time I do feel that a weight has been lifted.

 

I realize that my feelings for her are a little more intense than I admitted to myself previously. So it's really for the best that this has been put to an end.

 

Thank you all.

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Just a follow-up.

 

The young lady's boyfriend read her text messages from yesterday (yes, I texted her as I didn't think it wise to ask her to meet me in public somewhere) and he's threatened me with legal action if I don't quit harassing his girlfriend. I guess he missed the part where I was telling the girl that I thought we needed to break our friendship.

 

He says his mom works at a law firm and he is serious about taking action.

 

Good christmas, the "girl" is a legal adult. I wonder on what grounds he would pursue legal action?

 

She's the one who sent me a friend request on Facebook.

 

She handed me her cell number herself.

 

And when she got a new phone last month, she kept facebook messaging me saying "text meeeeee!!! so I can have your number in my new phone!!!"

 

So far as I can tell, she is the one who has always made the request for any contact. "Come visit me tonight at 8pm at the coffee shop!"

 

I've never once asked her to do anything or meet me anywhere. EVER.

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Wow, that guy sounds charming...

 

First of all, good for you for telling her, I think the way you went about it was really good. Yes it sucks that you won't be seeing her anymore, but as you said at the same time a weight is lifted and you don't have to feel guilty about anything anymore.

 

As for the boyfriend - that is extreme. Unless SHE accuses you of harassing I don't think there's anything the guy can do. Whatever you do, don't say a single word to either of them, good or bad, as he might try to use it against you.

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I think we all have a bit more insight into what's going on. No wonder she wants to spend time with you with a boyfriend like that.

 

Don't worry about being sued. That's just the ranting of a possessive, insecure a**. And getting his mother involved?!

 

It seems kind of sad, more for her than you, just to walk away from her because her b/f is a nut. Most boy/girl friend relationships are temporary distractions. Friendships tend to endure.

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If you've been forthcoming on the forum, don't worry about a lawsuit. But just in case, keep copies of any texts and emails you have from her. Again, that's assuming you told us the entire story.

 

Keep us posted if she actually does pursue legal action.

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