mattg Posted January 14, 2013 Author Share Posted January 14, 2013 Everyone seems to be saying similar things but must ask do you think high 30s is an acceptable number or just that it doesnt matter as it is in the past? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Everyone seems to be saying similar things but must ask do you think high 30s is an acceptable number or just that it doesnt matter as it is in the past? You want a specific answer and we are not going to take the bait (like your gf did). I say you can either accept her number or don't. But don't ask other people to judge her for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realitynut Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Sweetie....go back to the VERY beginning...and read all the posts....they are saying, "IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER"....lol Get a good nights rest....and when you wake up in the morning...kiss your hunny....and don't think another thing about it. She's with YOU...you must be doing something right! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SapphireNoir10 Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 You have to decide whether you can be with someone for who they are NOW or whether you are going to let her past affect your relationship. If she has been a good, loyal faithful girlfriend you are lucky. Some of my friends who are 22/23 have slept with high twenties. Myself I've slept with I think 8 and I'm 23 and sometimes I think that's a lot, my boyfriend has slept with around 15 and he's 25. I must admit when I've dated guy's and they've said 'oh I've slept with 35 women' its made me uneasy, as if they are a player, but I would still give them a chance and if they proved themselves to be a good loyal boyfriend then i'd just stick to 'the past is the past' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaliforniaGirl2222 Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 I agree with everyone. The past is the past. I honestly have no clue how many woman my boyfriend has slept with. And you know what? I have no desire to know. It is his PAST. he could have slept with 5 or 500. All I know is that he is clean, he is faithful, and loves me. At least she was honest with you, ya know? She could have lied and said a handful. You asked, and she gave you an honest answer. You shouldn't punish her for that. Let it go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 I would be upset too because I agree it sounds like you were initially misled. At this point, all you can is accept or move on. You need decide what you find acceptable for you. None of us can answer that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realitynut Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Ya know...i'm 58 and don't even have a CLUE how many i slept with. Back when i was twenty and went on a 'man rampage' for 2 months....some i didn't even know their NAMES....I block that time in my life out! She probably has too. This might be different if you had just met her....and you'd be worried. But it's been 3 years ago. She has grown up! Believe me...i know what i'm talking about. After my rampage...i swore i'd never do anything like that again. Not that i haven't racked up men since.... but i was able to go on and be married for 20 years! Please don't harp on her about this....or dwell on it! Relationships are hard enough to maintain, without making mountains out of molehills with 'how many did you sleep with'! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superfan Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 I am not going to say "You should never ask the number of people your partner has slept with", but I will say that if you DO ask, then you better be prepared and able to ACCEPT the answer. My husband and I both disclosed the number of partners we have had to one another honestly. He has been with more women than I have (talking full penetrative sex). He is the only man I have ever fully slept with while, he has had about 10 or so partners. Not a lot, but more than me. I have fooled around, etc. with men, but he is the only one I have had full sex with. I am fine with that. If he had told me he had slept with 100 women I would be fine with that. We are not jealous people, and I don't have a "number" in my head in which I would suddenly decide I could not be with him. I was prepared for the answer. It sounds like you are partly upset because she misled you (which I can understand) but more upset because the number is higher than what YOU have in your mind deemed "acceptable". To that, all I can say is either get over it or move on. It is called hte past for a reason. You can't change it and neither can she, so unless it is a deal breaker for you, you need to accept it and her for it. Otherwise, you need to move on so she could find someone who CAN accept her for who she is. As for her misleading you, that I can understand being upset about. You could always say to her "listen I am bothered by the fact that you were not initially honest with me about your number of partners. I would like to talk about why you felt the need to mislead me." If you do approach that, then make sure you do so because of the deception, NOT the number itself otherwise it will just be about your insecurities. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueidealist24 Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Everyone seems to be saying similar things but must ask do you think high 30s is an acceptable number or just that it doesnt matter as it is in the past? If you need an opinion on the number, I think it IS very high, but it still doesn't matter when it comes to your relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattg Posted January 17, 2013 Author Share Posted January 17, 2013 hi all. Thanks for all the replies. They have helped Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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