After 8 years its over

[ltor]

I can't believe it has come to this. I knew we were going through a rough patch but after 8 years he ended it. This man was my world and I love him so much. I cant understand the concept of NC. Ive already called and texted him a few times since he ended it Saturday. I feel like I will never be able to move on. I go crazy at the thought of him possibly with someone else. I am in agony and dont know how to get through this.

[LostInChicago]

Time. When my ex and I first split, I tore EVERY picture in half, I cried daily, sometimes I'd shower just to cry. I would either not be able to sleep, or I'd never want to get out of bed. I stopped eating, stopped socializing, and eventually I just started forcing myself to function.

 

And for me ... link removed that site was helpful. I signed up and got emails that helped walk me through the break up. I get my email straight to my phone, so that helped too. Being able to read those and remind myself that life will go on... Coming here where others allowed me to cry, wallow in self pity, and essentially just scream about how he took a bite out of my heart. .. And then I keep a blog too (I started before I met him), so writing in there also helped me.

 

I can't tell you how long it will take, or when it will get better because we're all different... but for me, the first 20 days killed me, and after that I began slowly becoming human again.

 

Now I'm dating myself. I got a completely different hair cut/style, I get my nails done, get massages... I treat myself a lot now. It's been an eye opening experience.

 

Good Luck to you, know that right now it seems like no one can relate and your pain is unbearable - and while my words will almost force you to roll your eyes as you cry and think, "she doesn't get it" ... in time you'll see, I get it. We all do, all too well. For now, cry, hurt, and know that you have every right. And come here - we are all here to support you. I personally will listen to your story every day if it'll help. Sometimes its just nice to know that you can throw your pain out there without being judged

[LostInChicago]

Oh and if you want to see the heart break I went through... link removed is my blog. My break up is all layed out.

[ltor]

Thanks so much LostInChicago. I will do those things and try.

[LostInChicago]

No problem, it's all any of us can do But you aren't alone... it's a painful road, and unfortunately, one we all travel at some point.

[sportsguy9981]

My ex of 4.5 years ended it 10 weeks ago... I havent had contact since, you can do it if you set your mind to it. Ive heard many successful stories regarding NC, some have done it for a year and are still not moved on but they all say the same thing, its better because I went NC or, I wish I would have done NC earlier. Its your best shot, let him have what he wants and if thats not you, do you really want someone that doesnt want you or doesnt love you? I know that I dont, Im still having a very hard time but I do believe Im better than day 1. Take it from me, if I can get over it so can you.

[sparrow]

To the original poster: I was dumped after 8 years, too -- 8 1/2, actually, so I am feeling your pain. I am about 8 weeks into my breakup with my former boyfriend, and it really waxes and wanes. In the beginning I was an ABSOLUTE mess. I was actually going through what I imagine withdrawal symptoms from some terribly addictive drug would be like: I would get the shakes, no sleeping, no eating, and absolute, gut-wrenching anxiety. Coming on this board is a LIFE-saver.... it really really helps to be amongst people who truly understand where you're at and how to cope. Everyone on here knows EXACTLY what you're going through. 8 years is a long time, and as a fellow gal, I will be here for you. I know how much it hurts. I can't say I'm doing great, but I'm definitely not shaking anymore, so that's a step.

[Limiya]

Hey Itor,

I feel for you i really do. 8 Years is a LONG time to be with someone. I was with my ex for 6 years and he left me for someone else. Gut wrenching isn't the word.

I know what you're going through. I'm still going through it and it takes time. The withdrawal as mentioned above with be the hardest.

Cry it out, wallow for a little while, and then GET BUSY doing things you have always enjoyed. Social activities like classes and physical activity is a great way of boosting your emotions.

Be with family and friends as MUCH as possible. Busy busy busy.

 

I'm here for you so you can always pm me if needed.

This place is a great place to vent it all out, and i promise things will get easier.

 

Limiya

[ltor]

Thanks so much. I feel so stupid for contacting him last night (that was right before I wrote the post). He is doing his best to ignore my calls and texts and that hurts me beyond belief. I know he needs time to breathe and it's better for me to do NC but I find it so hard. Woke up shaking in the middle of the night and crying so hard I almost threw up.

[Limiya]

Aw no, how horrible. It's awful when it affects your sleeping patterns, because it makes you tired which makes you more irritable and you feel worse.

It used to take me hours to fall asleep, then i'd wake up several times through the night and cry, and sometimes i'd get maximum 3 or 4 hours sleep a night for a while.

It really does knock you about.

It takes willpower, but phoning him (especially when they don't answer) makes it worse on yourself. you feel stupid afterwards for phoning.

You have to keep saying to yourself, you will not contact him. If he wanted to speak to you he has your number, he can contact you.

If you keep calling him, the more he'll pull away. So tell yourself you're giving him that space he wants, and perhaps lock your phone away for a while when you're home alone and more tempted to call him.

 

Limiya