To stay and hope things get better? Or leave :(

[coco9]

Hello,

 

I have been in my relationship for over 4 yrs (2 young children involved)

 

Things are usually good! He can be bossy, and critical (which gets on my nerves!) doesn't really help much with our kids (stays up all night playing vids and sleeps until 11am-1pm) he own his own business and does well working 2 days a week at the moment, so he is home most of the time. I also work evenings, but due to an medical emergency, I had a pulmonary embolism last month and was told to take it easy, so my shifts have been cut down. I know hearing this, it doesn't seem bad, but that's not the worst.

 

Every 3-5 months he gets very irritated with me and flips out and call me names... I won't make myself look completely innocent, I stand up for myself when this happens (he calls me *****, useless ****, dumb, loser, bad mom, simple, read a book, ****ing moron) I don't call him names like this ! But I do defend myself and am usually crying upset when I do (the I get called a baby and he deserves someone more career minded and is with my because he pity's me)

 

I was going to fly home to family for a while (they are all accross country, no friends or fam here) he started one of these fights when I go out of hospital and told me I am pretending to be sick and doesn't help me with the kids... Things cooled down, I am not allowed to fly for a few more weeks (pulmonary embolism) I asked if he would be interested in counseling, together, he said no, we can work on it our selves and he really wants things to work blah blah..

I recently got a gym membership and told him the other night I would like to go early Wednesday morning (9ish am) so I tried waking him up, he kept ignoring me, I was frustrated and called him a lazy selfish **** head.... I know, I over reacted, I was annoyed though... I don't go out often and our lives revolve around his long sleeping habits. He LOST it! Punched walls, banged doors, said he was leaving.. I reminded him our daughter has an app at 2 so be back with vehicle, he told me no... I went in to the walk in closet (hallway to master bath) and he got in my face, I told him to stop and we need to get our daughter to drs, so be back before 2... Then... He pushed me... I was shocked... Then he pushed me again... The look in his eyes said he was going to punch me in the face, so I turned and he shoved me in to wall as we walked by... Called me names again then left until late last night (I was sleeping)

I know this is long... Is it possible for this to work? Or am I in denial... Like I said, not always like this, but happens 2-3 times a year... I am scared, terrified...help?

[Ms Darcy]

Punching walls is a pretty good sign of an out of control partner. I would roll out on this guy.

[catcountry]

You need to get out of this situation. I'd say just grab your kids and head home to your family but I'm sure there are some legal issues that can come from that. So.....seek some legal advice and get the Hell outa outa there. This situation probably WILL NOT get better, in fact, worse. Do yourself and your kids a favor, take some controll of your life, and get away from this man.

[deflated]

Leave..now!