family wont include SO

[HDC80]

I didn't leave the apartment I rented to gain financial support.

The girl I was living with was going to grad school in CA and her family owned the place.

They didn't want to continue to keep me as a tenant or rent to anyone.

So I was looking for another apartment...and my parents talked to me about buying to not burn money by giving g it to someone else. So it became apartment and property hunting.....they drew up an agreement with lawyers for me to sign upon finding a condo.

I was too niece to see the implications....And was going to be homeless. They wouldn't let me crash with them..because once moved out I was no longer welcome to move back Eve. Shirt term

[nutbrownhare]

Wow... actually, it sounds as though your family not including your boyfriend is the least of your worries....

[HDC80]

I didn't care if I had to take out student loans....its why I looked into it....due to my parents income and having claimed me as a dependent....I didn't qualify for much and would of had to quit college....that's why they stepped in...and at the time living at college was an escape from being under their roof.

 

Why would I go to a family event just to be that uncomfy and a family that would believe the lies my parents would tell them about me which is creating the uncomfortable situation in the first place?

 

I am in line....looking for a resolution that doesn't end up shooting myself in the foot or compromising my future.

 

I didnt put myself here purposely or really knowingly. I trusted my family that they were looking out for my best interests...and found out too late that they weren't and only looking out for themselves.

 

I'm sorry for what you went through but I'm pretty sure your wisdom came from experiences....or you would have made choices to avoid some circumstances. That is where mine comes from now....the experience has given me the wisdom to know this isn't right but to also know its not a simple or easy fix and financially one that has to be carefully crafted.

[iamkaylee]

I'm calling bull again. You had choices just like you do now.

 

You could have taken the loans, transferred to another cheaper school or gotten a job or all of the above. You chose to let mommy and daddy bail you out and write the checks. You chose to move out of your apartment, sign those papers and move into that condo knowing you couldn't afford it and knowing it was unethical. Many, many, many times you chose along the way.

 

You have a choice. Don't go the the family events. It IS that simple. Just don't go. Pack up and move out the condo. Get a place you can afford. Stop the pitiful diva garbage and just do it. I know I'm being hard but I AM trying to help you here.

 

Mommy and daddy are already making the mortgage payments on the place. They ARE going to keep making them. They're not about to screw up their credit just to jerk you around and they sure don't want to lose their precious tax shelter. The only thing they hold over you is fear. Stop being afraid.

[metrogirl]

I wouldn't want to bring my SO around people that were so ridiculously snobby to begin with.

 

I'm suprised they didn't demand that he be stoned to death for such an offense.

[HeartGoesOn]

Moderator Note: Please stay respectful, and avoid making personal judgments.

[HDC80]

Yes I could have taken out loans.....BUT would have needed my parents signatures due to the amount etc. On most college loans you need a co-signer for certain dollar amounts.....(I used to work at a college in the Bursars office)....sometimes students have alternate relatives sign----I didnt have that option.

 

I was already at a cheap school, yes I could have gone elsewhere, but again I was 18, 19/20.....I didnt always have a clear view of my options.

 

I had a job.....see the post where I wrote about how I worked and saved evey red cent due to being told I would need to find an apartment EVERY summer....

 

I didnt CHOOSE to move out of the apartment I rented.....I was told when my lease term was up due to the family owning it no longer wanting to rent....I was ACTIVELY looking for another apartment, and it came down to the wire and the choice was be homeless......or step into what was explained to me (and looked as) a GREAT opportunity.

When they approached me about the paperwork and the condo-----it sounded like an AMAZING opportunity with how they explained it-----again, why would I assume it was being handed to me as a way to control me?

 

I dont disagree with you----I made choices just as we all have....and sometimes those choices get us into a bind.....this is my bind.

As Ive stated Im looking for a way out of this, but also a way in which I dont destroy myself, my savings, my credit, etc. Setting myself up for SUCCESS in this situation and avoiding failure, or as much failure as possible.