Situation with Ex ruining new relationships

[hoboken12]

I am having a major problem that I am scared that I will never get over. I had a previous relationship that I thought possibly the one. We had a great time together, we had common interests, we were great friends and had a good sex life. She would always bring up marriage, and I would say that I thought someday we would but we shouldn't rush anything. But whenever I would bring up marriage, she would get really nervous. Anyways, we broke up. She basically forced me to break up with her, she would do anything and everything to try to piss me off, if I said the sky was blue she would call me a liar. I tried to figure out why she was doing these things, but eventually I couldn't deal with it any more and I left her. I was so frustrated with her, I wanted nothing to do with her. Not a word.

 

I decided if she ever felt like being adult about things, and actually communicating again, she would call me. She never did, she would just have friends of hers come over to my apartment and try to talk me into talking with her again, and telling me how she still thinks about me. Even two years after our breakup, a friend of hers tells me that my ex still wonders what could have been if we stayed together. I do too. But after all of the frustration she put me through, I find myself still unable to even look at her. I don't understand how she would think that after forcing the breakup, I would initiate contact, much less want to talk to her. And that when I expressed anger about any of it, she acted like I had no right to be angry. Very frustrating.

 

The major problem I am having is that now, (and I feel this is because of my ex), I can't seem to find a good relationship. I will meet girls, go out a few times, have fun, but if it gets anywhere near serious, I run. I am not even very nice about it sometimes. Which I am really not a bad guy, I just feel like I can't help it. I am stuck, I can't get myself to move forward into anything good, but I can't bring myself to talk with my ex, which I think is part of the problem.

 

I don't know what to do. I feel like I should talk to my ex again, but everytime time I even think about it, it seems that it will be like always. Nothing will get solved and it will just reopen old wounds. It all becomes so onesided, I try to resolve anything between us, and she tries to enflame the situation. I just want her to be happy, and me to be happy.

 

Any advice?

[chai714]

This break-up happened 2 years ago. It's time to let go of whatever happened in the past between you two. If you don't want to talk to her for whatever reason, then don't. I would like to think that after 2 years, you would have forgiven her enough to at least speak with her, but everyone creates their own path in life. You still have feelings for your ex - it is apparent. I think that this may be hindering your current dating life too. If I were you, I'd give her a call. Sometimes, you gotta put your pride aside and do what is most healthy.