InnerApple Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 Hi all, Recently found out my ex is in a new relationship. I found this out because she saw it fit to message me and tell me. Thoughtful, or thoughtless? I know which one I'm going with. We broke up at the end of August/beginning of September. And now she's with someone who she's been working closely with for the past several months. She had mentioned him in a drunken stupor one night as one of many people she could have at ''any time'' and that I should be glad that she was with me because she had so many choices if she wanted to leave. She apologised the next day, but this hit me. Massive red flag, didn't take notice. Should have ended it there and then. There was a two week period before we broke up where she changed ridiculously suddenly. Treated me like I was beneath contempt, if I'm honest. Then we had a huge drunken argument where I said some stupid things and called her out on this change in behaviour. She claims she left me because of this argument. A little over a month later, and she's with this guy. I feel stupid. Just felt like I had to write all that down, thanks for reading. InnerApple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markie6 Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 Only you can guess why she told you , could be good ...or bad. Hard to say from the outside and used to seeing the worst happen to people. It would be very easy to point the finger and say for definite she was already over the wall before she told you. With him being the same guy, well it seems like that anyway Everybody has to face the fact their ex gets involved with somebody else, sooner or later and although it won't have been that much of a surprise, it will still sting a lot. Don't feel stupid , no point really, just use the latest info to spur your healing on ... take care and try and limit the information you receive from now on. If she is vindictive, then she won't stop with that message, hopefuly she won't rub your nose in it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake_hope Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 She checked out of the relationship couple months ago man, thats why she treated you like crap. She needed to make sure she was able to start this new relationship, before she left you. It is the way it is and you need to stop talking to her. Go no contact so you can heal and be happy. She is most likely a rebound and it won't last but that does not mean she will come back to you. Even if she does, you might not want someone like her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InnerApple Posted October 27, 2012 Author Share Posted October 27, 2012 Thanks for the replies folks. I've gone NC for several weeks now, she broke it to tell me. I just responded that it was none of my business. Something good has came of this though. Despite quietly pining for reconciliation, and the fact that we see each other nearly every day...I want nothing to do with her ever again. I do not want her back. I just can't believe how quickly she's moved on. But then I realise that this guy has been on the scene before we broke up, and even more so immediately after we broke up. How could I not have seen this coming! Time to get my old self back InnerApple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake_hope Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 Looks like you are on the right track, but its a lot easier said than done. In a few months just go back and reread all your post and threads, everything will be so much clearer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CeeLambrini Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 Whether it was malicious or not, I'd take you knowing now as a good thing. It immediately ends the nagging hope of reconciliation, even if it wasn't the hard hitting reality you had hoped for. It's closure, it's rock bottom. The only way is up. My ex let me know when he had begun a new relationship, he only thought it right I should hear it from him and I respected that. It still stung a little even after 8 months - but I was moving on too and it was better to find out in the privacy of my own home, over a text message rather than be out bumping into them together and being caught off guard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErikSifu Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 my ex-fiancee left me for someone new, .... i wish she had the decency of telling me the truth.. like most of us here, i made a fool out of myself to then find the real reason why she left ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TopFive Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 Man this hits home. The exact same thing happened to me. My ex started trippin and when we broke up for good she start screwing some dude from her job and now they're together. Please don't ever in your life talk to her again. It's hard, it hurts, but being in contact with her will only set you back and open up wounds that have started to heal. If you read some of my stories you'll see why NC is the best policy. Take care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Autumnleaves Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 You've nothing to feel stupid for. You trusted her, she let you down. I'm glad that this new development has now spurned you on to moving on with your life. I think it was crass of her to break NC for the sole purpose of telling you she was in a new relationship, almost as if she wanted some kind of reaction from you. She didn't leave you because of the argument, the argument just gave her the justification to end things. You're better off without her Inner Apple, she's done you a favour. Hopefully now you can use this to move on & find someone who is worthy of your time & love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake_hope Posted October 27, 2012 Share Posted October 27, 2012 She didn't leave you because of the argument, the argument just gave her the justification to end things. THIS. She just didn't want to feel guilty and started acting up so YOU give her a reason to split. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InnerApple Posted October 27, 2012 Author Share Posted October 27, 2012 I know these things seem obvious, and sometimes unbelievably trivial... But when you have these thoughts in your head, trying desperately to convince yourself that you weren't a monster and you didn't ruin something, it's nice to hear it from others that it's clear her behaviour was skewed towards making me *give* her a ''reason'' to leave. Sometimes when you realise that on your own, you think that you're just clutching at straws. This community has helped me. I don't feel half as crazy as I would without you folks. Thank you InnerApple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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