2bhappy0212 Posted October 23, 2004 Share Posted October 23, 2004 What the heck is so intimidating about a short black women? I can not imagine what about me would make a grown man nervous but I have been told by men and women that I am intimidating. I still do not believe it because thugs, bums, drug addicts and old men have no problem approaching me. This seems like a lie people tell themeselves to make them feel better or a nice way to tell someone they are mean. I want to ask my friends for advice but the are all to busy with their relationships to worry about me. I do not understand what is wrong with me. I need the truth I can handle it ARE MEN REALLY INTIMITATED BY WOMEN? To make matters worse I have noticed recently I just do not care if a guy likes me. I used to get nervos now I am like lets get this over with so you can not call me. People are always telling me to take risk and I do but I am never awarded for my efforts. I feel like it doesn't matter anymore what I say, they do not care. This is a recent occurrence I used to be real talkative. I would go out of my way to be nice but now I just do not care. Even with guys I like I no longer aim to impress, I just nod and grin. They ask the same questions and I give the same answers, you talk on the phone, you go on a date, you worry if he is interested and then you end up in the same position you started in ALONE. After 24 years of searching I have never had a real boyfriend and I am done, I am just tired of the whole dating thing. I do not want to do it anymore it is too exhausting. I thought I would never get to this point but I GIVE UP. Does anyone else feel like giving up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mun Posted October 23, 2004 Share Posted October 23, 2004 Hi there, Dating is not easy... and sometimes it's not even fun ... of course you are going to get tired of it especially because it feels like a never ending job interview. Same questions, same answers.. you must look nice... be nice.. etc. Maybe it's not that you are intimidating, but that your attitude is negative. Hey, I don't blame you in the least. Maybe it's time you take a break from finding someone. Take time for yourself to grow as a person and get to know yourself better. Pamper yourself... go out with girlfriends. A quality guy will show up when you least expect it, and usually when you are having fun just being single...and not looking. Best of luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cassiana Posted October 30, 2004 Share Posted October 30, 2004 well I know how you feel. Dating is tiring but just like work it has to be done if you want to be in a relationship. Whilst being short and black are not intimidating in themselves it could be your personality. Men are not like us and we are all hypersensitive and hypercritical on a date. For example a guy might for the first time in his life accidently forget his wallet but because its a first date the woman thinks this is what he's alaways like. Or a girl might get a little tipsy on a first date. Now to her friends this might even be endearing because she never gets drunk but on her first date a man is thinking that he has a lush on his hands. So on a date you have to tone down a little. People are usually a little reserved to begin with and if your full on with youor personality too soon they get intimidated. Its understandable. Also if you have had bed experiences in the past don't let it cloud your opinion of the next guy. They are not all alike. I think you are 24 so give yourself a wee break and then just consider your approach to dates and how you could be less scarey. Remember men find very attractive women intimidating, also very sarcastic ones or ones who dress aggressively. I know guys who had nightmares about Madonna's conical bras. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woogyeman Posted November 6, 2004 Share Posted November 6, 2004 I don't believe anything is intimidating about Short Black women. Least ways not to me. I have had a profile out on every dating service on the internet (I think) looking for one for some time now. I think they are just so rare and hard to find. If I ever did find one to even date, I would feel like I just found a 10 Ct. Flawless blue diamond. It is not so much intimidation, as it is more like finding a rare gem and being ultra careful with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sole Posted November 6, 2004 Share Posted November 6, 2004 Nothing is intimidating about a short black woman! I think that same situation applies to most women. We all are hit on by losers but the good guys stand on the sidelines and smile, flirt, etc without actively approaching us (the shyness factor?). I think it's in the personality. I have friends who are really outgoing and guys will try to pick them up. But I'm shy and I could be standing right next to them and I'm overlooked. I know I'm not ugly because guys check me out. But I'm not extremely outging and I find it hard to command attention. Do you look serious or happy when you're out shopping or running errands? Do you look at attractive guys and smile or make eye contact when you're out? If you look serious and, don't make eye contact, or smile you may seem a little intimidating. Don't give up on guys. It's true when you least expect it one will come along. Keep being nice because guys who find you attractive will be attracted to your friendliness. ALL guys aren't losers or shy. Where do you go to meet guys? Someplaces will mostly have guys you don't find sexy anyway (for examples bars, clubs). Try going to places that sexy smart friendly guys may hang out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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