My job

[Mavh25]

Hi there, was hoping to get some advice and see if anyone has been in a similar situation. I feel like I may have posted about it before but couldn't find it so here goes.

So I hate my job, I dread it, it scares me.

I try to pinpoint what scares me, I believe it's the pressure, the responsibility. I work as a trainee in a small veterinary surgery near London, and I only work a couple of days a week. I don't want to go into too much detail.

 

But the boss has a favourite, and although I like the people there a lot, I am really ignored due to my limited time there.

The favourite is spoken to well, if she makes a mistake it is brushed away, if I make a tiny one I'm spoken to like crap and pulled aside.

Some days me and the favourite work together and she is lovely but as soon as the boss walks in he says hi to her and ignores me. Don't get me wrong he is a nice guy, a brilliant vet and he does speak well to me, he's down to earth also but there is just something wrong.

I'm shy and don't always just shoot the **** like they do together. I feel a total outsider and I did express this at the beginning to the nurse who is lovely and she said she understands but they're really happy with me etc.

On top of it all maths isn't my strong point, and I get extremely nervous the day before incase they ask me to work something out in my head cos it just isn't that easy for me.

I can't leave, trust me I've thought about it, this is an excellent opportunity and these positions are few and far between so I can't give up on it. I just don't know how to deal with it, every time I think about it I want to cry. My colleagues are so nice, but I am so behind everyone else in terms of learning because I'm not in as much as the others.

Ugh, I just want to stop feeling like this.

Thanks Alot for reading.

[RedDress]

How long have you been there? Also, if you are a trainee, does that mean that you will have some sort of certification at the end of it all? How long until the certification is complete and/or you are no longer a "trainee"?

[Mavh25]

Hi red, thanks for your response. I am not an official trainee yet, we are waiting for our business to pick up. I've been there for about 8 months. If & when I do start official training yeah i'll be a registered VN

[RedDress]

Oh, that sounds great!

 

I think what you should do is put a mental timeline to it. 8 months is actually a significant amount of time to be a trainee but not-quite-a-trainee. I would say that a total of 2 years (so another 16 months) is a reasonable amount of time to at least start training.

 

If you are not officially a trainee in 16 months, I would consider it an empty promise and look for opportunities elsewhere. If you are a trainee, well, once you get your registered VN designation, you will be free to look elsewhere. Sometimes just having a time frame on situations you hate makes it easier.

 

From there, I'm not sure there is much you can do. In life - in school, at work, etc. there will always be people that we are naturally drawn to and "like" - and people who we like less (that's not to say they don't like you, but perhaps they like you less).

 

Try to see the silver lining in it all. While unpleasant, if you are being pointed out your mistakes (strongly), you are more likely to learn from them and do them less often. Whereas if it were brushed off, you may not fully grasp the gravity of the situation. It will make you a better VN.

 

Also - maybe try to give them the benefit of doubt. Perhaps the mistakes you have been making are more "serious" and potentially dangerous than the ones your colleague are making. Or not. Maybe now I'm being too positive.

 

Either way - think of it as - you only have 16 more months. In the meantime, perhaps you can try to find other, different ways to connect to these people. You don't have to connect in the same way if that's not you (it's not me either)... but... there are many ways to skin a cat (pardon the expression - especially given your field. HA!).

[Mavh25]

Hi again Red, thanks so much for your advice.

You're totally right, the timeframe thing is a good idea.

Actually we have to get a license basically before we can train, so we have a lot of paperwork to do and our client base has to be a certain amount, my time frame was a bit less generous than that.

 

This may sound unreasonable but I am always told in work that I'm excellent in surgery and with the animals, and that the favourite is stronger in her admin skills.

I also know I have a stronger desire to train than she does, so my thoughts where, as soon as we become licensed, if they choose her to train first over me, then I'll look elsewhere? Do you think that's fair?

 

I just get so nervous all the time and it affects me to the point of feeling ill and not sleeping.

 

I talk to myself and remind myself I CAN leave if I really need to, because we don't need the money, and my husband always says if they're horrible to me to the point of upsetting me, I need to walk out.

That gives me some strength but I just don't want to waste this but I'm so unhappy.

[McLovin oo7]

If you are not happy in your job, you should look for another one. It is a good thing that you gusy dont need money so you are not under pressure financially.

 

If they chosse to train her first, then you really have no reason to be there especially if it is going out of your time frame. It will also depend upon who started there first you or the favourite.