SarCareBear Posted October 19, 2004 Share Posted October 19, 2004 i think i'm going to submit this to a school contest, so i need opinions! thanks Portrait of the Artist, Drawing Pencil on page, feverish as I try To explain my eyesight to the canvas, in all it’s subtle linguistics A swept line here, understated curve there I curse this sheet for looking nothing of what’s before me! Oh, the frustration of those misplaced strokes Erase it, just erase it all and begin again With renewed vigor I attempt to capture The fullness of your cheek from a 65-degree angle. Every bit of textbook knowledge of function and form, the sciences Flies out the window into some fantastic new realm To note the grace of your neck and its invisible support system The muscle and bone structure so intimate, intertwined, Architecture hidden beneath elastic skin, daring to be shaded in relief. Finding such superb complexity in the biological logic of your hair Natural curls spiraling into those DNA double helixes As geometry masquerades in tiny triangular clusters of eyelash, Expansive and deep in the Pi r squared pupils of your eyes. And the literary analysis, the carefully scripted eloquence Of portraying such full lips so clearly meant for the third dimension! You pout and you pout and I’m drawing and drawing Beauty-based creation, like in the stories, all emanating from a #2 tip Faster and faster until the framework looks lost in this chicken scratch Like my handwriting, but in some foreign alphabet and I don’t know where your rendering begins, only fine sketched lines Lines that mean nothing when I’m so close and trying to focus I see the shadow and shine, all smudged on my sweaty hands, my art Who you were, the life in you and the flicker of your dazzling teeth Looking gray and grayer, squint and alternate - close and far, closer and further Forgotten in the translation to this unfamiliar facet So many lines and just a piece of paper and how could I have let The most divine intricacies end up trapped this way? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scout Posted October 19, 2004 Share Posted October 19, 2004 I would be very surprised if you didn't win. You have an exceptional talent for capturing the human experience in a variety of situations (having read another of your poems). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nothingontheinside Posted October 20, 2004 Share Posted October 20, 2004 wow... you are an excellent writer, keep up the good work. i really liked that one, its art within your own art of writing. unique and... and i just really liked it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
San123 Posted October 20, 2004 Share Posted October 20, 2004 thats really good! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
usied Posted October 20, 2004 Share Posted October 20, 2004 i took art classes most of high school and am enrolled in art instruction schools( the corespondence course) so i def was feeling that!!!! very very good..and i think it gave me motivation to go draw..because ive been sooo busy trying to get a job...that i havent found time in so long...and thank you very much for that...but yes i think that is good and wish you all the luck with it!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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