InnerApple Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 Hey all. Now, this may be the few bottles of beer I've had talking... I seen her today. On her way out at night. She looked fantastic. She looked the way she did on our first date - which, coincidentally was exactly 4 months ago today. We were only together for a short time, I know. But I loved her. And I believed her when she said she loved me too. Was she meeting friends? Seeing a guy only four weeks after ending it? I don't know. I don't want to know. And you know something? I don't care. We're all good. She wanted to leave me before I ''messed up'' by shouting at her one night. She needs to find happiness her own way. As much as I miss her, and wish she was here with me in bed tonight (and, believe me, I do, it's FREEZING!), she's not mine anymore. She's not my girl. She's her own girl, and one day, maybe soon, she'll be someone else's girl. But, you know what? One day, I'll be someone's guy again. And they won't cripple me. Look after yourselves folks. Much love. InnerApple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bw92116 Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 That's a very nice message. I'm glad you have reached that point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slow Club Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 This was nice. ENA needs more posts like this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robot20 Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 Good post. My girl left me too 5 1/2 weeks ago. Shes out having the time of her life with out me and shes with new guy(s) and friends, but i dont care anymore : I have no control over her or her actions, I have let go. I have accepted it for what it is... and some day I'll have another girl, I will love again, and be happy once again with someone else and a fresh start at a new relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheNewGuy Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 Great post. I've accepted it depending on what day it is, but it's a start. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InnerApple Posted September 20, 2012 Author Share Posted September 20, 2012 The way I see it? I can spend a million other nights crying my eyes out into a bottle of wine with Everybody Hurts (or some other song I used to love) playing in the background. I can look over our facebook photos, longing for a time when I met her family and everything was going so well. I can spend hours checking the Windows calendar on the bottom right hand side of our screens, remembering dates. First date. First time we had sex. First weekend away. I can see her looking amazing in the street on her way out to (probably) meet somebody else many more times. Or, I can accept it. She was wonderful. She had her flaws, and I worked with them. Because I loved her. But it's over. It's over in her mind. Now it's time it's over in mine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slow Club Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 I need this to happen to me. but for the life of me, I just can't accept that it's over. I just can't accept that somebody so close to me can now want nothing to do with me. it confuses me because my feelings for someone would never fluctuate like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InnerApple Posted September 20, 2012 Author Share Posted September 20, 2012 Slow - I was good to her. I loved her. I made sure every day that I wasn't clingy, needy or too intense. I had learned this from previous relationships. I never took anything for granted with her. I worked double-time every day we were together. Not too hard. But enough to make sure I didn't slip up. I had one unfortunate evening when I said some horrible things. Putting in perspective though, she had many nights like this. Verbally and physically abusive towards me. She used my one bad night as an excuse to leave me. I see now that this was an excuse - nobody breaks up with someone for making one mistake. And, if they do, they're not worth your time. She had wanted to leave me for a few weeks. Our feelings for them didn't fluctuate, Slow. They grew. They intensified. Because we cared about that person and that relationship. It meant something to US. It didn't mean that much to them. As heartbreaking as it is, it probably never meant as much to them as it did to us. The fact we are hurting means we have heart, courage and love to give. Never forget that. We have to let them go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irishag33 Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 I can honestly say that I feel like this at times, but other times I'm not as strong. However, you are definitely right. I can relate to you also because I wasn't with mine for that long either but I truly fell for him in those months that I was. It ripped me apart at first especially because he was cheating but I keep trying to tell myself the same things you are saying. Oh and what a huge PIG he is thanks for the encouraging post! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Limiya Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 Thanks for the encouraging post. I hope to be at that stage where you are one day. Limiya Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InnerApple Posted September 21, 2012 Author Share Posted September 21, 2012 Low and behold...she texted me the next day about not stopping to chat. Why do they do this? I know she's not a bad person, but she's mixed up and has her own demons to conquer. I've never had an ex who is so persistent when it comes to maintaining contact. Such an odd and confusing situation. However, I'm holding my head high. I briefly replied to her text, and didn't respond to her reply. Indifference, as they say... InnerApple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jj1985 Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 Hello I was only with my girl a short time, dating for 2 months and together just over a month and in that time i fell HARD! I have realised that I cannot get her back did every sensible thing I could to get her back but failed. Just like robot20's ex - my ex is out having the time of her life with her mates and doesnt want/need me or any guy for that matter and knowing this helped me realise i cant get her back. However ... I cannot stop thinking about her and cannot get her out my head. It doesnt upset me and i dont cry about her or anything, i just cant rid the thought of her out of my head. I miss her so so much and miss the amazing times we spent together. I know in time i will forget about her, its just really doing my head in thinking about her! Wish i could geet hypnotised or something!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InnerApple Posted September 21, 2012 Author Share Posted September 21, 2012 Ha, if only hypnotherapy were freely available! I know how you feel. I can't stop thinking about her as well. It's been four weeks for me. I have to see her every day, and she texts me now and then. Like I said, crippling. But, whatever may happen down the road, for the time being, it's over. There's a kind of cosmic certainty about that. I cannot control it. I'm gonna focus on myself. Holiday, work, career, exercise, appearance, attitude. Think of this as a wake up call. Im a good person, and I was a good boyfriend to her in the short time we spent together. But you can never stop improving. Fake it. You'll make it. Trust me. I still am. InnerApple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jj1985 Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 Ha, if only hypnotherapy were freely available! I know how you feel. I can't stop thinking about her as well. It's been four weeks for me. I have to see her every day, and she texts me now and then. Like I said, crippling. But, whatever may happen down the road, for the time being, it's over. There's a kind of cosmic certainty about that. I cannot control it. I'm gonna focus on myself. Holiday, work, career, exercise, appearance, attitude. Think of this as a wake up call. Im a good person, and I was a good boyfriend to her in the short time we spent together. But you can never stop improving. Fake it. You'll make it. Trust me. I still am. InnerApple. InnerApple - I love how your so positive! Im usually very positive however when it comes to trying to forget about her, im far from positive this will happen any time soon! I was also an excellent boyfriend in the 3 months we spent together also and tbh, i find it a bit silly how it affected me so much and how even now 3 months after the BU, she is still on my mind! Im doing the whole keeping busy thing but when you have a spare 5 minutes , thats all it takes for her to pop into my head! The last text i sent to my ex was 1 week ago and ive not had her on facebook for around 5 days. Ive even removed her number from my phone now. Hopefully this will help me start to have days when she doesnt pop in my head! Thnaks for sharing your positivity! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gtnovru Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 Do you think most of us posting about our BUs... Are really giving, loving, somewhat sensitive, somewhat emotional... hopeless romantics? And those qualities make losing the one we love especially difficult? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 Hey there buddy. I think that whenever you want to idealize the relationship you should look back on this. It wasn't healthy. Falling hard for someone who treats you badly isn't love, in my mind, it's an emotional co-dependency. I hope that you can make better, wiser decisions about who you get into a relationship/stay with in the future. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keykey Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 Cant get over him and still trying to get him back, what do i do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markie6 Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 Do you think most of us posting about our BUs... Are really giving, loving, somewhat sensitive, somewhat emotional... hopeless romantics? And those qualities make losing the one we love especially difficult? Generalisations aside, we are probably of a certain group of a certain group who just happen to be disposed to being a certain way at breakup time ..some of my friends have gone through divorces , cheating and all sorts of painful times and yet seem to have suffered less than me over a 2yr relationship .. so I guess yes ..I am probably built a certain way , more caring... maybe.... attachment disorder of some description ..almost certainly, at least that's how I view myself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gtnovru Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 .. so I guess yes ..I am probably built a certain way , more caring... maybe.... attachment disorder of some description ..almost certainly, at least that's how I view myself Maybe I should add dependent/codependent to the list too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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