gilmond Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 My girlfriend and I after a long relationship have decided to end it. I approached her saying that it was time for us to stop hanging on to what we used to have. She didn't have sex with me for 3 months and wasn't romanitcally attracted to me anymore. There were times when I thought she was getting into me every now and then and we kissed and flirted like it was the old times but she just wasn't feeling it anymore. So now I am in the spot where we live together and I don't want to kick her out because she moved here for me but at the same time I really want to have a relationship with her but she doesn't want one. We basically have opposite schedules of eachother and I am going to school and trying to get my life together but I honestly thought she was the one but I have to let her go because she doesn't see me the same way. How do I go about living with her and taking care of her but at the same time show her that I am moving on and if she doesn't come back to me that I will leave her for good. We have a nice weekend planned and I want to have the best possible time with her because I honestly love her with all my heart. I just don't know what to do right now, I have however just got some girls number from my class and she seems really into me and I am kind of curious about her too. I asked her out a few times for lunch and some ice cream but she has been busy but she throughly wants to spend time with me. What do I do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oAllElseFailo Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 I think the best thing you can do is just talk to her and get your points accross. But it sounds like either way she's done with it. I just wouldn't try to make it sound like an ultimatum. Hey, you're either with me or you're finding somewhere else to live. - Sounds kind of douchey to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 Sit her down and tell her she needs to move out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 How long are you planning on staying there together? It's going to be a hard sell trying to convince someone to date you while you're still living with your ex. I would wait until your current situation is sorted out before trying to move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toby17 Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 She's over you and she's has no intention of trying even though she's still living with you and tying you down. I know you want it to work. But you're missing vital information that she's not sharing. At some point, she went off you and decided that she's not going to do anything anymore to make it work. That was the point at which you might have been able to change things. But in the end, this is a relationship and you're not responsible for both of you. You need to let her go, there's better out there and you need to find a woman who's capable of communicating and working as a team. Tell her she needs to find somewhere else to live. By all means explain why. But don't expect it to go smoothly. At that point, she could start desperately trying to change your mind (till you give in and then life goes back to the way it is now) or she could start dating in that period. But you need to do what's best for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iBroken Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 How do I go about living with her and taking care of her Uh you dont? Shes not your problem anymore. Its time for her to take care of herself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donovan79 Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 Uh you dont? Shes not your problem anymore. Its time for her to take care of herself Seriously. Do you really still think we live in a world where "taking care of someone" is what turns them on? Be a man and tell her in kind words that you want your life back, you need to be free to have your own place, date, move on, and live your life, and therefore you're really sorry, but as it's clearly over you need her to find her own place. She'll likely cry and tell you she's sorry and she'll try to change, you're important to her, but if you give in she'll go back to this way immediately. Don't give in. Be prepared that once you stand firm she'll move from emotional and sorry to angry and resentful, but that's life. You'll feel 100x better once you rip off the bandage. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gilmond Posted August 25, 2012 Author Share Posted August 25, 2012 You guys are right it will make her think that I will be there for her all the time. I think I'm just desperately trying to cling onto her again. I just feel bad because she moved here for me and changed her job for me but I shouldn't because I didn't make those decisions for her. It would be like the same if I moved up there for her she wouldn't expect me to live with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donovan79 Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 Kick her to the curb, man. Really. You'll be infinitely happier than dragging it out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toby17 Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 I think you are just clinging to her. A part of you accepted it was over, when you told her it couldn't go on like this. But another part of you is keeping her close. You're also more comfortable having this shell of a relationship than moving on with your life and looking for better. I think you should also go see a counsellor to talk about why you're letting this go on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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