thePuma Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 When I was little boy, my parents bought a book about nature. It taught me many things, from collecting rocks to watching birds. Suddenly I wanted to be a biologist or a geologist. I wanted to travel the world, camp in the woods, watch the colors of the world. Then my parents bought another book about scientific facts and discoveries. With it I learned a lot about physics, from gravity to electricity. I was sure I wanted to be a scientist. I wanted to make cool inventions like the transistor or the telescope. Then my parents bought a computer. I started designing and programming. Everything could be created and tested virtually, without any consequences to the real world. I was going to be a great computer and software engineer. It was so cool to build anything out of nothing. Sometime after that, my sister started studying nursing and I read several of her books. Being a nurse was so cool. It was like being a biologist, a scientist and an engineer all at the same time, fixing ailments and creating wellness out of nothing. Time was running and I had to make a choice. I chose to be a nurse. I wasn’t completely happy with that decision, but I couldn’t spend the rest of my life looking for a career. I graduated. I got a job. I got married. My wife and I, we’re happy together but we still think we’re not ready for parenthood. Now I work as a full time ward nurse. I get to help a few people, some go home better, some die. It’s a job where half of my effort disappears with people. It’s an OK job. I do for people whatever they need at their worst moments in life but, sometimes, people go and I’m left with doubts. Every day I need an escape plan to forget the hospital. I used to come home and take care of my garden. I sowed all the grass, planted some trees and grew corn, tomatoes, watermelons and peppers. Due to some awkward and heavy tasks in my job, when I get home, my back and legs are in pain, so I don’t garden that often anymore. I had great fun playing videogames, imagining that I had free will, being a space soldier, saving the galaxy, romancing an alien. In the end, videogame writers managed to spoil five years of fantasy. I no longer play videogames. I find them repetitive, unrealistic, limited. It was time for a real hobby. I was going to be an amateur radio enthusiast. I bought a radio and started logging broadcast stations, ham operators and utility signals from all over the world. Very soon my radio died due to a static discharge on a very tiny chip. Shortwave stations around the world are dying too due to budget cuts. Religion is dead. People no longer gather together, there’s too much of everything – too many options. Technology is not connecting us, it is scattering us. Now I go outside at night leaving everything behind to look at the sky. I no longer look at it with the same awe. It’s just a huge black unknown filled with opportunities, wishes, dreams. It makes me feel unique but forgotten, unused. Suddenly, I understand. I am a stargazer. I am not meant to create, develop or imagine. I am only supposed to enjoy all that is around me. Time will pass. Generations will come. Everything and everyone will be replaced and forgotten. I'm just a forgotten stargazer. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
radioteque Posted August 18, 2012 Share Posted August 18, 2012 I really enjoyed reading this. Perhaps writing is your calling? Sounds to me like you could write a great plot for either a novel OR the new generation of gamers. Who knows? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thePuma Posted August 26, 2012 Author Share Posted August 26, 2012 Thanks for the kind words. I've thought about writing before, but.. it's not really my thing. This was something that I just had to put out there.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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