pago10 Posted October 14, 2004 Share Posted October 14, 2004 We need to do a something a study if you will.. I have been reading through the posts and atleast half of that are about i have fallen for my best friend. I think in most cases its the guys fallen for the girls. I say we do a survay.. being.. How many guys have fallen for girls who are there best friends.. And the other option, how many girls have fallen for guy best friends. I really believe it will be one way. But lets get something going here so we can really understand the true underlying fact why does this happen!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alabama Posted October 14, 2004 Share Posted October 14, 2004 I suppose it happens, because as as friend, you get to know them very close and as you grow with them, a feeling stirs in your heart, and then you know it's love...it's just natural I guess... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hockeyboy Posted October 14, 2004 Share Posted October 14, 2004 your lover should be your best friend as well. the last 2 girls i dated began as good friends. the current girl im intersted in is also a friend. it sucks, because if the relationship does not work out, you loose a lover and and a good friend. its normal to start to feel something for someone you spend so much time with..someone you open up to. you gain a lot of trust for that person which is a big plus in a relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sankin Posted October 14, 2004 Share Posted October 14, 2004 because if the relationship does not work out, you loose a lover and and a good friend. This is not always true. I am in love with my best friend. we didn't become best friends until after we went out and broke up. now we are even planning on moving away from our homes together. I know this could possibly change seeing as it would be about 4 years B4 she can move away, but I'm still confident that we will always remain best friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hockeyboy Posted October 14, 2004 Share Posted October 14, 2004 well then..i should say..in most cases...its risky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted October 14, 2004 Share Posted October 14, 2004 I've fallen for girls that were my friend and believe thats the best way to go. It may feel awkward but it has its benefits. Friendship is a key ingredient in any lasting, meaningful relationships, you wouldn't want to go out with someone who you can't trust or feel comfortable around. By being friends first you have already taken the time to get to know each other. You are comfortable around each other and can talk to each other. They have probably seen all sides of you, your good qualities and the bad ones. You have been around each other through good times and bad. Yet, you still like each other and get along. The closer you get to someone the more you feel you can trust them and the more you enjoy their company. It's only natural that feelings might begin to develop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scaryperson Posted October 14, 2004 Share Posted October 14, 2004 Ah, i'm the first girl on this board to have fallen for their male best friend, odd really, i see it happen all the time. Maybe it's because most girls probably have difficultly believing that it's more than just a feeling of friendship maybe???? Also, maybe, girls are more difficult to get affection from, i dont know. An analigy of it for me is, i'm like super noodles, they only take 4mins to cook, whereas conventional noodles and pasta take longer to fully cook. Sorry that was a foody analigy, hungry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pago10 Posted October 19, 2004 Author Share Posted October 19, 2004 Shysoul, i completely agree with you, i think its better to be good friends with a girl before getting into a romantic realtionship. But how come it is most girls dont feel this way? If guys try to progress the realtionship to a romantic one, and the girl isent feeling it, most of the time that ends up in a ruined friendship. Would any girls like to comment on this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scaryperson Posted October 19, 2004 Share Posted October 19, 2004 Right, failed friendships. Well, i think that it depends on respect, i saw someone else on this forum write that "a guy can respect a girl, but a girl has to have the respect of a guy before they can respect them". I agree with that in most cases, and also, it would be because the girl would feel awkward about carrying on a friendship with someone that they don't have feelings for. I personally definitely feel friendship is very important for a relationship to work, and have to know someone before i could even consider starting a relationship with them. And, i like to keep a friendship going even after a relationship is over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted October 19, 2004 Share Posted October 19, 2004 Pago, I think many girls do want friendship first. The problem comes when one person doesn't share the other's feelings. It can create an awkward tension that the people don't know how to deal with. The girl knows the guy wants more but isn't able to give it to him. The guy has to constantly deal with the fact that he is so close to her but will never move to that next level. Rather the friendship lasts depends on how strong the friendship is and how strong the people are. Some people can overcome the tension and value the friendship to much to lose it. Others can't overcome the awkwardness. At least that's what I think. Do any girls have another explanation? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pago10 Posted October 22, 2004 Author Share Posted October 22, 2004 Yea i am definatly curious as to what girls think about this... Why cant your best guy friend ever be yuor boyfriend?. I mean he treats you right, he knows what you like, he has listened to you through good and bad times.. WHy would you never be with someone like that? Pago~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
psychobballgurl Posted October 24, 2004 Share Posted October 24, 2004 in my situation, i've fallen for my best guy friend of about 4 years and HE doesn't want it...he knows how i feel for him, and that i've felt that way for most of the time i've know him, however it doesn't effect our friendship...we're still very close and it doesn't seem to get in the way of us having a good time. I mean, occasionally, if the subject is brought up, the next day or two will be a little awkward, but after that, all is back to normal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ImAGuy Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 oh crap im in that position now and it scares me my fallen for one of my best friends, i guess cuz she was there for me when no one else pulled through. Theres one big problem I started to noticed my feelings awhile ago and the thing is i cant do anything becuase she juss came out of a relationship and her girlfriend is one of my best friends also.Im scared to tell my friend that i have find her attractive but if my friend (the one that went out with her)theres gonna be problems. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tea Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 In my situation, best friend never asked... He loves me, but I think it's more of a brother sister love. ... he never fell for anyone actually. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pago10 Posted October 26, 2004 Author Share Posted October 26, 2004 so i guess the real question now is. What do you do if you are truly inlove with your friend of the opposite sex male or female. I believe anyones best bet is to get it out in the open and express to them how you feel. If you are "true" friends with them, your realtionship will make it through this hard time if the other dosent feel the same. remember friendship is all about being there for someone through the rough and good times of there life, and i conclude this situation shouldent be any different. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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