Not so bad being alone maybe?

[The Enigmatical Mr X]

Sometimes I wonder if I'm just getting too old in this game, parading my feathers around to seduce the opposite sex. I try and I don't try, more than anything I just want to get to know someone, someone amazing. Yet the years are rolling by and my romantic heart dies a little each day.

 

Perhaps once, this would have been a bad thing but now I see only release. The more of this needing self I lose, the happier I become. I seek my own inner strength for the power to face each day. Sometimes it is there, sometimes it is not.

 

But the thing is, when I'm not trying to attract someone, all of a sudden they seem attracted to me. I wish I understood women. Heck I wish I understood anyone. The question is, and I figure I know most of your answers, is that do you need another person to be happy?

 

Or maybe, for the seldom few among us, are we better off alone?

[Alabama]

Personally, I see where your coming from. I'm found that, as the times where I have not wanted someone, I rely more on myself and I find the strength to endure, when I was searching, could not. It does seem that woman want you, when you don't want them though...weird. In all of reality, we all could be alone, and never find anyone, out of choice...but that is not how life goes at times...strange...

[if only]

You are definetly not too old, you have the rest of your life ahead of you, hopefully 60 years + ahead of you to be with someone. You are only young like I am, enjoy your life and live the moment. I know it may feel like you are never going to meet someone but you will and when you are least expecting it.

 

If you go looking you are more likely to come accross desperate, which is why women probably don't feel attracted to you then. I find independence and happiness in a man to be very attractive like most women do. I love meeting men who are confident about themselves and are generally happy and don't need to be with someone to achieve this. They after all are the ones who have better relationships.

 

You should use this time wisely, when you are in a serious relationship you wont have as much time on your hands you can do things that you possible couldn't if you were in a relationship, travel, date lots of women, education, spend time with friends etc

 

I was in a long term relationship and have only just come out of it. I realise you don't have to be with someone to be happy. I am 23 and have not known anything in my adult life other than being with someone. I appreciate this time I have, eventually when the time is right I know I will meet someone else. The way I look at it is if I meet the 'one' I will never have this time again so I should use it to my advantage and enjoy it. you should too.

[Princess777]

Greetings.

 

Wonderful topic. I totally know where you're coming from. I, too, have thought about this. You are only 20, I'm thirtysomething, but the fact that you are realizing this now is awesome, and I wish I had when I was that young. I too have thought that sometimes I'd be better off alone, and without the hassles of a relationship, the anxieties that go along with it, and the complications of accepting someone with all of their faults and baggage (especially someone for me, since I'm older, because unfortunately, partners for me include those who have been through more in life, hence, they have more baggage. More ex's, more children, more life experiences to share with someone. It takes a lot out of a person, well, me, anyway, to live with all of that and know that I wasn't there to experience those things with him, but that we're together now. It's a constant battle of "I wish's" and "If only's".

 

Today I'm not actually having a good day emotionally, so forgive me if I sound pessimistic. I apologize. I really understand your thoughts, because I've had them too. Sometimes it sounds easier to just say "screw it" and forget about the opposite sex. And YES that is when they all come flocking. I think since we are mammals we all have a sense that we don't really use consciously, but rather subconsciously, that detects people who aren't desperate or looking at the moment. I think it was made that way so we don't get bored as easily.

 

Hey, I wish I understood men! I can tell you anything you want to know about me as a female but ask me how men think and all I know is what I've picked up on, through my life experiences. ... yeah it's discouraging but we cannot dwell on the bad points. I think the main problem couples have is communication, they expect each other to read the other's mind and it's impossible because we think so differently.

 

Sometimes it's hard to keep going in the relationship category, and yes I think taking a break is a good idea when you feel overwhelmed. Who knows, the girl of your dreams will probably fall into your lap when you stop looking and worrying. I wish you happiness.