gilmond Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Hey ladies I have a question for you. My girlfriend was having troubles yesterday and she got all pissy and frustrated and wanted me to leave her alone and not talk to her so I left her alone. The next day she came home and was pissed and frustrated and said all she wanted to do was eat and go to the gym and sleep. We had plans and I asked her about them and she said that's all she wanted to do. I ended up going to the gym myself and then after that came home and took a shower. She poked her head in and started talking to me yada yada so afterwards I went and started getting my first half of my tattoo. I left her alone because I thought she was pissed and frustrated and still wanted to be left alone. Today the day goes on fine we did our plans together then later on during the night we start to talk and it turns out she was pissed at me for not staying and being with her and cuddling with her when she needed it. I told her how the hell am I supposed to know what you need if you don't tell me. My question is when am I supposed to know if you girls want me to stay or be left alone and when you need all that love stuff. Then afterwards why do you get pissed at me for doing something when I still think you want to be left alone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetgirl22 Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Usually when I ask to be alone I want to be alone for about 30 minutes to calm down and relax and then I want my boyfriend to surprise me with ice cream or cuddle with me. We just need space to be alone and once we unwind we want someone there to comfort us. Well that's how I usually am anyways. So when she says she wants time alone cuz she had a bad day give her time alone but then come back to cheer her up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 I told her how the hell am I supposed to know what you need if you don't tell me. I am not sure she's worth a relationship. You should not be expected to be a mind reader. Not that moody is ok, but if you are moody you should at least have the courtesy to communicate your needs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pippy longstocking Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 I am not sure she's worth a relationship. You should not be expected to be a mind reader. Not that moody is ok, but if you are moody you should at least have the courtesy to communicate your needs. oh I agree ...tell her to either tell you or shut the eff up .... your a man not a magician ..and the more you allow it the more she will do it ... don't be anyones "mood" doormat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikNomis Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 ^ Agreed, you're not wrong here so don't admit that you were. Just tell her you understand she was mad (empathize with her), but also include you really didn't know because of what she said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gilmond Posted July 8, 2012 Author Share Posted July 8, 2012 Thanks guys I appreciate it I'll try the 30 minute thing and try to come cheer her up. I don't know when she just needs to vent or when she just really wants to be left alone. Darcy I asked her to communicate her needs to me so I am hoping she will but if it doesn't I really don't think our relationship will last much longer I love her with all my heart but she's just been super moody and *****y and everything I been trying to do to cheer her up or make her happy is falling half short. I did buy concert tickets to a concert she wanted to go to and she was happy because she had been having a really hard week and was frustrated pretty much the whole time. I really want to know if things are going to get better or if she is pretty much done with the relationship it's so hard to tell sometimes and it just feels like she has been taking everything out on me when it isn't my fault. I'll come back if I need some more advice but any other insight would be helpful. On the side note I love her alot and I am trying to do everything to fix the relationship and the last thing I want to do is break up with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
julesm Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Us girls sometimes do this...subconciously it's a cry for comfort. Give her a little space and then let her know you are there for her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovinggirl Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 I think a book called "Mars and Venus on a date" can be helpful for you LoL... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gilmond Posted July 12, 2012 Author Share Posted July 12, 2012 Thanks I'm going to check out that book. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 If you are at the point of wondering how long this relationship will last then I think you need to have a serious talk with her. Be very very firm about what you have observed and what is un/acceptable to you. You need to make your boundaries clear and do not cave. Sometimes people who act so emotionally need reassurance coupled with firm, respectful "calling-out" on their bs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gilmond Posted July 12, 2012 Author Share Posted July 12, 2012 Hey Darcy I do have serious talks with her about what I see and my needs and everything and then she gets upset and turns the tables on me. I try to be firm with her and tell her what things bother me and for the most part she listens. I sometimes just don't think she respects me anymore or that she can get away with certain things because I let her. We have been dating for about 1 year 8 months and literally the first year and couple months were magic then we moved in with eachother and things have dying down a bit but I have been trying to bring magic and passion and awesomeness back into the relationship. I'm really just at a loss on what to do anymore. We had made plans very far in advance to go to Taste of Chicago and she's bailing out to go hang out with some friends this week back in indy. I'm not getting to upset because I'll just go myself but it's just like we had plans and I expected to be going with you but whatever. I know she is still super attracted to me because slaps my ass and gives me looks but we aren't intimate anymore and I have tried having sex with her for the past month once every couple of days but she just doesn't want it. I just want to know what women think when they are near the end of a relationship and are ready are throw in the towel. I am a fighter and I am willing to take the punches she throws at me it's just really rough and I'm glad I found this forum where I can talk to people and get insight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 The more you write the more troubled your relationship sounds. If you have the courage to do this, I would write a pro/con list for the relationship. Ask yourself where you see this going and if you can take her CURRENT behavior for the rest of your life. If you honestly have talked to her about your needs and explained to her how you feel disrespected - and nothing has changed - then you need to get the courage to leave. There is no strength in taking punches; that is what victims do. Heroes walk away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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