r0ckox Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 What's up, people? I'm --------. 25 years old from Long Island. At the moment, I'm running an autobody shop that my old man owns, and within the next few years I'm going to be taking it over, so come see me if your poor car gets hurt . I've been through hell the last couple of years, so right now I'm just looking to take stuff easy. I'm tired of all the drama, the lies, the games and everything that comes with it. Enough is enough. I've seen it all and know right off the bat when something's not going to work out..and have no problem saying how I feel on the subject. With that said, I'm real. Guarantee the realest person you'll ever meet. I expect that out of you as well.. so if that's a problem - get lost, and get lost quick because I don't have time for that crap. I'm on some positive stuff these days. Everyday I'm improving. I'm determined to be at the top of my "ladder" and remain there until it's time to slide down. I love sports... baseball being my favorite. I'm in heaven at a Yankee game and can even tolerate a Mets game here and there. Basketball is just as entertaining, and football keeps my Sundays active during the cold. It's the way of the world, people. I can also be a bit of a nerd. I've been into computers my whole life and just finished building one, and that was enjoyable as hell, so I want to do it again. I can fix yours, too. I'm not going to sit here and reveal all my amazing, magical qualities -- so you're just going to have to hit me up to get the rest of the story. It's a wild ride and I promise one way or the other, you'll enjoy it. P.S - If you don't know who Billy Joel is... or if you say you don't like his music... I'm sure we can find a well for you to fall down. Just sayin' =) P.S.S - 3 out of 4 of my pictures were taken in bars. Doesn't mean that's all I do or all I think about. It's rare that I go out & party like that these days, but that's just the only time people ever seem to have cameras around and want to take pictures. So don't assume stuff, thanks. __________________________________________________ I don't know if this is okay. Thoughts? Impressions? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brickheart Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 I've been through hell the last couple of years, so right now I'm just looking to take stuff easy. I'm tired of all the drama, the lies, the games and everything that comes with it. Enough is enough. I've seen it all and know right off the bat when something's not going to work out..and have no problem saying how I feel on the subject. Yeah... people talking about how tired they are of the drama/games/etc. are really turning me off. NO ONE likes drama - or at least they'd never admit it if they do - so leave this out. It just screams "I'm not over my ex(es)!" With that said, I'm real. Guarantee the realest person you'll ever meet. I expect that out of you as well.. so if that's a problem - get lost, and get lost quick because I don't have time for that crap. Same thing as above... no one would say "oh, I'm not real, so I guess I'd better not message him." Don't tell people to get lost... I'm not going to sit here and reveal all my amazing, magical qualities -- so you're just going to have to hit me up to get the rest of the story. Well, it's your dating profile. Other girls might disagree, but when people say "there's more to me than I can reveal in a dating profile," they're doing it wrong. Please do yourself a favor and try harder to summarize yourself. Personally, I find this more incomplete than mysterious and enigmatic. So those are my major comments... Also, I feel like your whole profile is trying hard to be funny and it just comes off as cynical and dismissive. Just an impression I got, and one I'm sure you don't want to give to potential dates. I'd definitely revise and think about taking some of the sarcastic "jokes" out, since those don't read well over the Internet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camus154 Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 P.S.S - 3 out of 4 of my pictures were taken in bars. Doesn't mean that's all I do or all I think about. It's rare that I go out & party like that these days, but that's just the only time people ever seem to have cameras around and want to take pictures. So don't assume stuff, thanks. Dude, don't explain how something isn't what it looks like when you're in full control of what it looks like. If you don't want to come off like a bar hound, then find other pictures to use. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
r0ckox Posted June 21, 2012 Author Share Posted June 21, 2012 Dude, don't explain how something isn't what it looks like when you're in full control of what it looks like. If you don't want to come off like a bar hound, then find other pictures to use. I don't have other pictures. Hence why I explained "This is the only time people have cameras and want to take pictures." Brickheart - Thanks for your comments. I'll revise and try and update. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camus154 Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 I don't have other pictures. Hence why I explained "This is the only time people have cameras and want to take pictures." Hmm. That is a particularly hard dilemma to solve. I got nothing. I guess you're stuck with all these bar photos that show you're really not a bar fly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markfromark Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 P.S.S - 3 out of 4 of my pictures were taken in bars. Doesn't mean that's all I do or all I think about. It's rare that I go out & party like that these days, but that's just the only time people ever seem to have cameras around and want to take pictures. So don't assume stuff, thanks. Most women will look at your picture BEFORE they read this at the very end of your profile. And most women will dismiss you as a dude who hangs out in bars all the time BEFORE they read this at the very end of your profile. Unless you want to attract other barflys you better come up with some other pictures. Pretty much everybody has a camera in their phone nowadays so ask a few people to take pics of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Natasha24 Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 I've been through hell the last couple of years, so right now I'm just looking to take stuff easy. I'm tired of all the drama, the lies, the games and everything that comes with it. Enough is enough. I've seen it all and know right off the bat when something's not going to work out..and have no problem saying how I feel on the subject. With that said, I'm real. Guarantee the realest person you'll ever meet. I expect that out of you as well.. so if that's a problem - get lost, and get lost quick because I don't have time for that crap. This sounds all pretty negative and is a turn off. I wouldn't message a guy who has this in his profile. The rest sounds good though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
r0ckox Posted June 21, 2012 Author Share Posted June 21, 2012 This sounds all pretty negative and is a turn off. I wouldn't message a guy who has this in his profile. The rest sounds good though Thanks. I initially thought that would have been the 'worst' part of the profile. I'll be removing it... Other than what I posted, I don't really know what else to be saying, or how to revise it to make it lighter... it's just the way it always comes out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tattoobunnie Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 I think you are probably awesome person and friend, but this profile reads way too negative. Sarcasm and skepticism does not translate well in emails or profiles especially when these people don't know you. When you say you hate drama or games, it really translates that you definitely play games and are into drama...or choose women specifically who will be this way with you. Everyone is real. And if they aren't, it just means you don't know them well enough, yet. So I wouldn't put that in as a good point about you. It's pretty much saying you're the best, and most people stink. Negative! The autoshop, sports, nerds (computers), jokes on your awesomeness are cute. Include things that are important to you, example: family, friends, a night on the town, travel, wine, work, etc. Don't pigeon hole yourself with the Billy Joel thing. Some people may not know about him, especially if you aren't originally from NY/LI. And that person may blow your mind about other music. Bar pictures are fine. NO SHIRTLESS ones!!! Tacky!! And those ones where you take it with your cell phone in front of a mirror, double-tacky!!! Have a friend (girl), cousin, family member take some of you. "have no problem saying how I feel on the subject"...go with I'm honest, and open, and believe in communication. Girls eat up that stuff. Good Luck! Always use a positive undertone throughout the profile. Right now, it sounds like you just got stomped by someone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonyO Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 Hey r0ckox, where in Long Island are you from? I grew up in Glen Cove, I moved 20 years ago, I heard it's changed a lot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
r0ckox Posted June 21, 2012 Author Share Posted June 21, 2012 Thank you for that. You gave me a better perspective on what I wasn't seeing. I will be changing this around and update it here before I post it there. Hey, I grew up in Syosset and spent time in Oyster Bay and Huntington / Greenlawn / Centerport. I know a lot of people out in Glen Cove.. it def. has changed, but it's still a nice area =) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
r0ckox Posted June 21, 2012 Author Share Posted June 21, 2012 What's up, people? I'm Dan. 25 years old from Long Island. At the moment, I'm running an autobody shop that my old man owns, and within the next few years I'm going to be taking it over, so come see me if your poor car gets hurt =). I'm focusing on some positive stuff these days. Everyday I'm improving. I'm determined to be at the top of my "ladder" and remain there until it's time to slide down. I love sports... baseball being my favorite. I'm in heaven at a Yankee game and can even tolerate a Mets game here and there, since they're doing decent this year. Basketball is just as entertaining, and football keeps my Sundays active during the cold. It's the way of the world, people. I can also be a bit of a nerd. I've been into computers my whole life and just finished building one, and that was really enjoyable, so I want to do it again...I can even fix yours too! =D I have great friends who I'm always sharing good times with, whether it's a night on the town or just hanging back and relaxing. My family is awesome, too and truth be told, I'd be lost without them! I'm honest, open, and believe in communication. It's the most important thing in building relationships with people! Unfortunately, it's impossible for me to sit here and reveal all my amazing, magical awesome qualities -- so you're just going to have to hit me up to get the rest of the story. It's a wild ride and I promise one way or the other, you'll enjoy it =) ______________________________________ That's what I've got so far. I'd still want to tweak it a bit, though! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camus154 Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 Are you good looking? If yes, your profile won't matter. If no, your profile won't matter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tattoobunnie Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 Profile Update - SO MUCH BETTER - Sounds good! A bunch of my friends and I, girls and guys have done online dating. Some married people they met on there. Others, still dating, but having fun. Keep us posted on how it goes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
r0ckox Posted June 21, 2012 Author Share Posted June 21, 2012 I shall Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfan Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 This profile is looking good now. I'm glad you removed all the bitterness and the word "hell". What do you mean by "It's the way of the world, people"? I don't understand that line. Honestly, this line: "I'm focusing on some positive stuff these days. Everyday I'm improving" worries me. The reader may ask herself what's currently wrong with you. I'd cancel that sentence and just say you are ambitious and like to aim for the top of the ladder, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tattoobunnie Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 For his age, "everyday, I'm improving" is fitting. To me, it reads, I'm open to trying, doing, learning new things. And "It's the way of the world, people" to me, meant, it's what people do. I grew up and am from his region, so maybe I'm am seeing it differently? But it's good to clear up what others may see as vague. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
r0ckox Posted June 26, 2012 Author Share Posted June 26, 2012 Thanks for the responses, guys. It's the way of the world, was just a playful way of saying "It's what we do." Doesn't have a significant meaning. Thank you Tattoobunnie, that's pretty much what I was thinking as well, when I put that "everyday, I'm improving" line in. So far, no luck. Ive been ignored every single time. Ah, well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tattoobunnie Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 Ignored? What do you mean? Always keep in mind, when writing letters, always write about why you are contacting them, could be something cool you read in their profile. If all you write is "hi, how are you?" and expect them to do all the heavy lifting, you will most likely get no response back. I've gotten tons of those, and it definitely makes me think that you are sending that to every single profile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
r0ckox Posted June 26, 2012 Author Share Posted June 26, 2012 I don't write the "hi how are you" messages. I always try and comment on something I see in their profile, or always try and get some kind of conversation flowing. There was a girl on there who put that she liked the author Stephen King, so I commented on how I just finished reading "The Stand" and thought it was an awesome book, and tried to steer a conversation towards it. No response. There were many others that followed. This kind of thing happens every single time I go for the online dating thing - I never get responses, no matter what I send. I've been doing the online thing for years now. Yet my idiot friends who use copy/paste lame messages get endless conversations and dates. Sucks, really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Synerjist Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 I don't write the "hi how are you" messages. I always try and comment on something I see in their profile, or always try and get some kind of conversation flowing. There was a girl on there who put that she liked the author Stephen King, so I commented on how I just finished reading "The Stand" and thought it was an awesome book, and tried to steer a conversation towards it. No response. There were many others that followed. This kind of thing happens every single time I go for the online dating thing - I never get responses, no matter what I send. I've been doing the online thing for years now. Yet my idiot friends who use copy/paste lame messages get endless conversations and dates. Sucks, really. See, I have the same problem, but have been told time and time again that to best your odds on a reply, I should tailor a message based on a commonality and make a connection that way. I have had maybe 5 replies in 500 messages sent, none that went anywhere. What do you suppose your friends are doing right? Inquiring minds want to know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
becomingkate Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 I'm not sure if I can explain it properly so I thought I'd just edit what you've already written, OP. "Hi I'm Dan. 25 years old from Long Island and managing the family autobody business. My family is great to work with and we're all very close. I love sports and I'm a huge baseball fan. I'm in heaven at a Yankee game and I'm hoping you are too. (I'll even attend a Mets game because they're doing great this year!) I can be a bit of a nerd. I've been into computers my whole life and just finished building one. It was really enjoyable, so I want to do it again I'm pretty social and love hanging out with friends but enjoy kicking back at home just as much. I'm honest, open, and believe that communication is the most important thing in building good relationships. If you do too, please send me a message! Basically, I changed some of the wording ("father" for "old man") and some of the phrasing (to include a invitational message to the female reader and to make it less about you and more about her) and edited the length. Some of the original phrasing sounded lecture-y "It's the way of the world, people!" and the "wild ride" and "I promise you'll enjoy it" sounded a little arrogant. The best advice so far was to get a sister, or female relative, to take a good pic of you. It is worth the time and energy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
r0ckox Posted July 3, 2012 Author Share Posted July 3, 2012 See, I have the same problem, but have been told time and time again that to best your odds on a reply, I should tailor a message based on a commonality and make a connection that way. I have had maybe 5 replies in 500 messages sent, none that went anywhere. What do you suppose your friends are doing right? Inquiring minds want to know. My friends aren't doing anything "right" so to speak. The women they're talking to are just shallow and are attracted to them. Their about-me's dont say anything, just one liner crap, they send out the "hey lol whats up" messages, and that's it. Yet, any one of us tries that, and we get ignored. It's blasphemy. I referred to my friends using the copy/paste messages. link removed is where you can get the idea of it. link removed It's lame as hell and by now, it's been around forever so everyone already knows about it... my stupid friends use it and it still works, though. Odds are I'm going to say forget the online dating thing, again. It's such an annoying thing having to log on every day, look around, take the time, and just have nothing happen. Everyone on there wants to "give it a chance" and claims to want this, that, whatever.. but truth is, if you're not stunningly attractive, you get no decent replies. Becomingkate, Thanks for the edit of my profile - but unfortunately, the way I talk is the way I talk, and if I use an "edited" version of it, I just won't feel right and will feel compelled to change it. But, again, it is appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Synerjist Posted July 4, 2012 Share Posted July 4, 2012 My friends aren't doing anything "right" so to speak. The women they're talking to are just shallow and are attracted to them. Their about-me's dont say anything, just one liner crap, they send out the "hey lol whats up" messages, and that's it. I don't know about the "shallow" thing, but isn't the point to meet a women that's attracted to oneself?! That's exactly what I want, anyway. Why would a low/high-quality message change that? A crap one would reduce the odds, and I see no reason why a good one would do anything but increase the odds. I don't understand what you're getting at. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thorshammer Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 My current gf i sent a message saying: "hey, how are you? Does your profile name mean you train in karate?" My last ex; "hey, hi... i like your myspace background, lol " Messages will be judged on your pic, or unless you hit their interest level so hard that they have to meet you (meaning you share a lot in common, this isnt easy to do online... in person it is, but online is difficult because you have to keep their attention long enough to lead a conversation into a discussion about interests). The profile is just the tip of the iceberg. This will seme politically incorrect, but (since i dont care) women do have the power on these sites. They do sit on their high chair and decide who is worthy of being granted their magical code (numbers). You will be judged as if you were on stage, and they will look at looks and personality. Once you meet them, the power shifts and balances out, and they will usually stop the 'wall" (this is my experience)... and that is ok... they need to protect themselves from creeps and crazies, and online they are running loose (they even get creepy messages from weird guys, even more of a reason to sit on their high chair and judge- so expect this and go with it, or be insecure and stop online dating). Once you get the number, its all based on your personality. This will set up the date. Unless she is a bird, she will not give you a free pass because you look good, again, they need to protect themselves from creeps (more so in cities, i avoid all sexual talk before we meet). I have never seen a "flow" different from this. If this flow is off, i usually suspect things. The most ideal women to meet is someone who has just signed up. If she has been sitting on the site for long, then she is a serial dater or is burnt out from the site from bad experiences, likes someone but still stays on because that person doesnt want commitment, or isnt taking the site too seriously. These "just signed up", or who doesnt fill this type i wrote above and is sitting on an old profile- are rare. Though, in my experience, even the rares ones just got out of a relationship, or has actively avoided relationships due to some cloud hovering above them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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