A blast from the past.

[Adom]

Last night I got an email from about the last person I'd expect, my exgirlfriend, Sara. It's been over a year and a half since we last spoke.

 

Sure, I've gotten over her. I've been dating around lately. But this is someone I once loved. This is the classic "what if?" exgirlfriend. (What if I didn't break up with her? What if we got back together?" Well, here she is, bringing all these thoughts flooding back into my mind.

 

Her email was almost exceptionally banal. She spoke about her studies, her brother, her friend. Nothing emotional. Nothing terribly interesting to me at this point. It seemed a bit contrived... I don't know, like she purposely avoided saying anything of substance. No 'I was thinking about you's', or other reasons were provided as to why she suddenly decided to contact me after so very long.

 

My friend told me to just delete it, and not respond. What purpose could she serve in my life now?

 

I don't desire her as a friend or aqquantance. But as a girlfriend...? Only if she's matured a lot. And even then it would be risky. I wish there were some way to test her. To see her intentions clearly, and if she's changed for the better. (Without getting too involved.) Any ideas?

 

I can already feel my heart warming up to the thought of being with her again. We had such chemistry! I've never felt so passionate in any other relationship.

 

What would you do? How would one respond to an email such as this?!?

[bexcelant]

Ok, this is one where you listen to your friends. Listen to your heart. Pray maybe. Then do whatever you want because you and her are the only ones that matter in this. Personally, if it were me, I'd want to talk to her because it never hurts to talk. You're just talking.

 

BEX

[CarterJonas]

Yes this is a difficult question that only you can really answer. If my ex. phoned/emailed me right now i would tell her to get lost, but then again this is something that I would do and not neccecarily what you should do. Sorry I can't be of any more help but good luck anyway.

[fridolyn]

If you're still hoping to get back together, you dont really have the choice and talk to her. There's nothing wrong with it but if you expect her to come back and thats not what she wants, how are you going to react??? Will the pain come back? If you answer "yes" to the question, I say: "Forget about her".

 

 

Good luck!!!

 

***English is my second language***

[antzca2000]

just email her and ask her what she wants.

[Adom]

Has anyone had a similar experience? I wish I could just ask her what she wants, and get an honest reply. I don't like games.

[JohnnyTable]

Although she didn't say she was thinking about you, she clearly was since she e-mailed you.

 

However I would not read into it too much yet. I have contacted people from years ago (not exes though) just to feel connected to my past.

[trishcollins]

1.5 years of NC is a great way to become failry objective about the "ex" and I am sure that although you may still have strong feelings about her and having a relationship again, you have the court advantage, as you have already gone through the entire healing process.

 

I think if you want to respond, you should, but be honest, tell her what you want (her real reason for contacting you and her intentions) and what you don't want (no games, or to just be friends). You have nothing to lose. I say "go for it".

[Adom]

Trish, I like that a lot! I'm wondering though if I'd be coming accross as "too forward" and jolting her a bit. Hm, but maybe that's the way to go.

 

I'm now seriously considering writing her back. Of course I'm in no hurry; maybe it's best to let her sweat it out a few days while I figure this out!

[trishcollins]

Not sure you should let her "sweat it out" -- you want to avoid game playing -- you and her both. I say just ask her straight out and get it over with. The sooner you get an answer, the sooner you know where you stand.

[JohnnyTable]

Be honest.

 

If you wait a few days to respond, just let her know why (ie you had to think about what to say, etc). That way it won't look like a waiting game type thing.

[Maynard]

If your over her i think you've got nothing to lose.

If i were you i would answer her and maybe ask her some question about herself and her new life after that see what happen and if she as change

 

and maybe there's still somethings there you never know

[Adom]

Well, for better or worse, a reply was sent! I ended up taking the brief and direct route. Let's see what happens... maybe nothing!

[Elliesonline]

I have emailed an ex before, not particularly because I was thinking about him, but mainly because I was bored. An ex, to me, is the past, and I would never consider a relationship with him. Girls become bored for a moment, and an outlet for that boredom, often times, is an ex who's always there. Girls usually don't look to getting back together with a past bf.

 

Your ex may have been having problems with her current bf, or she simply wanted to see if you'd respond.

 

I could be wrong, though. Good luck!