Double J Posted May 29, 2012 Share Posted May 29, 2012 I've heard and read that when guys complain about "not doing it enough," it does nothing but turn you off even more. (I'm guilty of doing this myself but have since stopped.) Is this true? Does it turn you off when a guy isn't aggressive in bed and/or fails to pick up on hints that scream "I'm in the mood"? On the flip side, what gets you really turned on? Taking you out to a romantic dinner? Foreplay and kissing? A guy who's a challenge and seems to convey he'd be fine without sex? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Seeker Posted May 29, 2012 Share Posted May 29, 2012 I've heard and read that when guys complain about "not doing it enough," it does nothing but turn you off even more. (I'm guilty of doing this myself but have since stopped.) Is this true? Does it turn you off when a guy isn't aggressive in bed and/or fails to pick up on hints that scream "I'm in the mood"? On the flip side, what gets you really turned on? Taking you out to a romantic dinner? Foreplay and kissing? A guy who's a challenge and seems to convey he'd be fine without sex? Straight-forward sex. If I make a move on you and you would reject on me when we are in a relationship. Even though I accept your move and never reject it. You can tease fine. But reject, total different ball game. If you withhold sex from me... That would pissed me majorly off. It would make me want to break up with you if I was good. If I was really bad, look elsewhere and start cheating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poetryandlyrics Posted May 29, 2012 Share Posted May 29, 2012 My affectionate style is tactile, both in a loving way and a friendly, joking, teasing way. I guess the two styles of being an actual significant other and a friend works in many ways for me because my SO is my best friend. We do laugh during sex. We do stupid, funny things. I need a friend, not just a boyfriend. He has to be willing to joke with me, to tease, to make fun of himself. We do wrestle with each other. We hug randomly. I'm very tactile so my SO is very used to my nudging, hugging, touching, poking, holding, whatever. I was raised in a family where we do the same that last thanksgiving, I sat down my cousin's lap. In another event, my other cousin "dirty danced" with my other cousin. Another cousin will pick me up, despite my fear of heights. So on. Back to my SO, it just shows he's there. I don't mind the romantic stuff but sometimes they're a bit "too much" that I'm more of a "let's joke around, tease around, make fun of each other." I have a picture of my SO trying on my skinny jeans by accident and he pointed it out to me and I had to force him to stay so I can take a picture. I like a guy who's willing to make fun of himself, make light of things, and just have fun. I like being friends, y'know? I don't mean to reject the romantic tactile, I like cuddling and whatever like that that lets me know he cares. But idk, definitely not the kind where it's all blinged out and cheesy like rose petals to a carriage and whatever. Too over the top. Haven't happened to me, no. Just saying. Some people do go for that. And as for the sex, I like them when it's not routinely. It bores me to death if it's a routine. And that goes for the same old thing for the same old way. No, switch it up. I get bored fast if it's the same, old thing. And I'm definitely not in the mood after an argument -- let me have the time to myself. Meh, turn offs? If he's moody, grumpy, and then wants sex? wth. Idk, that's what I can think up right now. The aggression in bed? Like sex style? I go for both. The love kind and the aggression. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wilyone 11 Posted May 29, 2012 Share Posted May 29, 2012 I don't like it when guys say crude things in bed. Major turn off. I wonder if they pick it up from porn? When you watch that stuff, keep in mind that the women are just pretending to enjoy what the guys are doing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrandiBroken Posted May 29, 2012 Share Posted May 29, 2012 Turn Off: Agree with above, crude weird things being said in bed. Hasn't happened to me but the idea... no. Being ignored then just wants to suddenly 'come play.' I'm already shy and new to things so my head tends to make me afraid to do things which obviously is a turn off. Things I want to try or do... can picture in my head then go to and want to run and hide. Hair getting stuck under body and then is not a pleasant sort of yank. Heat... like it being a gazillion degrees as it is now and my boyfriend want to tease and do dirty things and I'm thinking in the throws of passion we're gonna die of heat exhaustion. Turn On: Certain growling. Happens for both of us. Be a mad or flirty growl and clothes will more than likely come off. I'll tease, lick and bite his finger and we're golden to go. Him... bite my lip a certain way plus growl and be pressing against me or give my neck attention. Certain night-fun outfits and his reaction to them. Being pulled onto his lap to make out never fails. I like him in control of things or when I am being just the right amount of encouraging, helpful and knowing when to just hush up and let's go at it. His voice first thing in the morning plus body all pressed up against me. Nothing is a bigger turn on then knowing he wants me though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted May 29, 2012 Share Posted May 29, 2012 Sexually, I prefer the most direct route. Don't buy me stuff beforehand or hint or feel like you have to seduce me. Don't complain a lot about sex frequency. Instead of complaining, make it happen or talk constructively. Complaining is not sexy. Here is how a "typical" initiation happens between my boyfriend and I: Person A: Hey, I want to have sex. Let's have sex. Person B: Okay sure! I'm horny too! or Let me finish this or that task and then we will have sex. Person A: Yay! *begins to take clothes off* That is definitely what I prefer. Sex-wise, I like rough sex as well as passionate. I enjoy dirty talk. Not all girls in porn hate what they are doing by the way, check out amateur stuff. Real couples doing stuff for the camera. You can tell they are into it and it's hot. Dirty talk gets me going. I also like hair pulling and biting a little bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrandiBroken Posted May 29, 2012 Share Posted May 29, 2012 I think it's just personal taste. Some people like it, some don't. Personally, it just makes me either uncomfortable because I find it ridiculous or worse that I want to laugh at them and almost mock in the sense of "Did you really just say those words outloud? Play it back in your head, who says that?" type of things. But that's just me. Another turn off I am dealing with at the moment: After effects of spontanious sex on the floor... this means carpet burn and hard indention of bra clasp in back. Was fun at the time but pay for it later heh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted May 29, 2012 Share Posted May 29, 2012 It's okay, a lot of people aren't into dirty talk. I wasn't myself for years. not sure why I got into it. Always put a blanket on the floor for rug/floor sex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Natasha24 Posted May 29, 2012 Share Posted May 29, 2012 Maybe I'm weird, but getting rejected makes me want it even more. He doesn't even have to reject me - if he's just reluctant to have sex (but still agrees to it), I want it all the more. It's like I need to prove myself to him. I like dirty talk too. I can't do it, but I love to hear it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrandiBroken Posted May 29, 2012 Share Posted May 29, 2012 It's okay, a lot of people aren't into dirty talk. I wasn't myself for years. not sure why I got into it. Always put a blanket on the floor for rug/floor sex. Haha, no kidding. Wishing had taken the extra moment for that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donovan79 Posted May 29, 2012 Share Posted May 29, 2012 Natasha, I think you're more the norm. Most girls I've dated, if they start to initiate and I hold off, it drives them nuts. Basically becomes a challenge for them to use their sexuality to break my ability to resist. Sometimes they've won. And by "sometimes" I mean every goddamn time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quirky Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 Turn off : when he withholds sex. It puts me off big deal, makes me feel desperate or something. When he just cares for his satisfaction. When sex lasts way too long. If he's too polite or civilised about it. Turn on : If he's wild about it. Enthusiastic and a bit aggressive, dirty talking all that. If he cares about my satisfaction. If he compliments me (even by swearing) during the act. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sodizzy Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 Turn offs: If he's polite about it or shy. If he isn't enthusiastic. If he lets me do ALL the work (I don't mind working, but you should move too) If a guy closes his eyes like he's trying to solve a math problem. (My Ex who sex was embarrassing for him). Or if a guy tries to 'accidently' put it in the wrong place. ugh. Luckily new guy has 0 of these traits. Turn ons: Grabbing my hips when I'm on top, spanking me, encouragement 'you feel sooooo good', pulling my hair, saying my NAME, wrapping his fingers in my hair and pulling me in for a passionate kiss. Okay...I need to go be alone now... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coconut Twin Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 Hopefully this isn't too explicit for ENA What turns me off is when there.isn't enough 'throw down' a bit if aggressivness wouldn't go a miss. Turn ons......Too many. The tent in the morning is just calling me to give him oral, seeing his bulge under his boxers excites me! Kissing my neck, biting my ears, dry humping me, his moustache rubbing against my clit during oral, feeling his wood against my inner thigh, coming up behind me when I'm doing the dishes then talking dirty in my ear and rubbing my breasts while I feel him on my butt getting excited...and many more.......good thread. Oh and I just moisten when I see a guy wearing boxers with a huge hard on. I'll just pin you down right there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted June 14, 2012 Share Posted June 14, 2012 I don't like being spanked, but probably most of all, I don't like being asked how many orgasms I've had - like do you think I lie there and count??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedVirgin Posted June 14, 2012 Share Posted June 14, 2012 Hopefully this isn't too explicit for ENA What turns me off is when there.isn't enough 'throw down' a bit if aggressivness wouldn't go a miss. Turn ons......Too many. The tent in the morning is just calling me to give him oral, seeing his bulge under his boxers excites me! Kissing my neck, biting my ears, dry humping me, his moustache rubbing against my clit during oral, feeling his wood against my inner thigh, coming up behind me when I'm doing the dishes then talking dirty in my ear and rubbing my breasts while I feel him on my butt getting excited...and many more.......good thread. Oh and I just moisten when I see a guy wearing boxers with a huge hard on. I'll just pin you down right there! damn I wish I didn't have such a pathetic penis...so girls DO actually like big bulges and what not I'm screwed. Must be nice to have a boyfriend who is so well hung and isn't a complete waste of a human being like I am. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted June 14, 2012 Share Posted June 14, 2012 ^ Uh, pretty much all guys get bulges, regardless of size, unless they are wearing ridiculously baggy pants. And this is coming from someone who has dated a couple small men ( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrandiBroken Posted June 14, 2012 Share Posted June 14, 2012 I don't like being spanked, but probably most of all, I don't like being asked how many orgasms I've had - like do you think I lie there and count??? My boyfriend has asked me that. More than once. And that's been my response too. *rolls eyes* Just try and ruin the whole thing why don't you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedVirgin Posted June 14, 2012 Share Posted June 14, 2012 how much of a turn off is it if a guy is a 22 year old virgin who has never kissed a girl? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cupcake22 Posted June 14, 2012 Share Posted June 14, 2012 chewing tobacco...i would never kiss that mouth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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