ME, Edited

[Juliette ne pas]

You don't know me, very few do, the number of those still living even less.... I can't talk to my family or the quasi-friends I have here, because they don't want to hear it, they don't understand it, or it freaks them out. I can't talk about who I am or was or what I did, because its not appropriate, it may be inflamatory or insulting in nature. I cant talk about my buddies, I can't visit the graves of my Father or my friends who served as I did. I'm so tired, I feel totally alone, it's funny I try to reach to people even here, try to encourage them, because I know how their feeling and what their going through...but I scare people off even in the cyber-world. I don't get it I given the best years of my life to aid and comfort the weak and wounded, foreign and domestic. I've got no awards to show or do I want them, I dont know what I want, I think I just want fit in somewhere, like I did with my buddies...but there gone I can't bring them back...I've tried to live my life to honor theirs, I wonder many times why I'm here and they are not, what could I have done differently...I don't know...I don't know....All I know is I'm going to sleep and hope I don't have any night terrors or flashbacks...I just don't want to remember anything right now....

[rahulrocks]

Dont be depressed, good and bad all are in the world.

[Juliette ne pas]

Another day above ground is a good day.... started diet to prep for surgery, have paperwork in order, need to exercise today, it's hotter the hades.

Have appt today... more tests, I feel like Rabbit from Winne the Pooh.

Ein kleiner Igel träumt...aber was hat es geträumen?

[Juliette ne pas]

Saw hubby at child's appt...very hard...he looks good, acted normal, says he wants to try to work things out. Trust me he says, as he sways back and forth, trying to hypnotise me. Damn good looked forked tongue slithering snake in the grass. Why am I so wreak willed when it comes to him? grrrrrrrrrrr, that man, vile evil beast..