Deep thought...

[rahulrocks]

How limited our responses are...As soon as one asks for a piece of advice...we start looking into memory and search for an answer.....we dont even look enough...we dont even understand the problem fully....we just want to answer....to conclude. The answer is mostly from our knowledge, theories, past experiences...but would that answer solve the problem ? Are we really interested in solving the problem or we are merely interested in answering things ? Then comes an answer from another which challenges our belief, which is not in accordance with what we think is correct. So we start fighting to prove that our answer is the correct one. What is it that we are actually fighting for ? is it really that we do not want the person seeking advised to be fooled or is it that we don't want our idea to lose.

What is it that makes an opinion so important for us ? Is it that we have found security in that idea....that our mind always wants to be sure and we have established a sense of being sure in that idea......So we would want to prove that idea to be correct no matter what happens.

 

But do we ever realize that our ideas are limited. They are just abstractions based on an experience in a particular situation. That we can never apporximate a new situation with an old one. Therefore when you are dealing a situations with your ideas, your response will always be limited.

Can there be a response to a situation without any ideas, without any thoughts ? Since thought is limited, should not one find out if there is a response which is not based on thought.

 

Dont say we can't find...this is cessation of inquiry.......Don't look for conclusions because you are again building a new idea based on an old one....Just look......

 

You are stuck !!! .........Congratulations.

[rahulrocks]

I began looking at her without all the past images. Without the screen of relationships..without her past deeds. She was working on the laptop and slightly angry at me for some act of mine. Then she began to get a little uncomfortable. She asked What ? I said nothing, I am just sitting quietly. I kept looking at her, trying to cast aside all the images that come between us. My mind began to become quite. I was at ease with myself doing nothing. But it was probably weird for her to see me sit that quietly and do nothing. It becomes abnormal for the world to see you just unoccupied. If you are doing some kind of meditation in a certain pose then they are sure that you are being occupied in meditation. They tend to get relaxed. But if just sit quietly with your open eyes in a state of complete attention, and do not tell them what you are doing, it may become awkward for them.........Sometimes abnormality is so common that you tend to start questioning the normal things.

Its easy to look at a tree without all the details about the tree, without all the information about a tree. But its difficult to look at the parson without a past. But when you do it, its much more fun. In the same way can you die to all your past. all your achievements, all your sorrows, all your name and fame. Can you thus free yourself of all your attachments, all your guilts. The children are good at it....they forget the past so easily.....but we carry it on. So can you die to the last minute.....and therefore extremely vulnerable in this moment, free of all bondage and with a capacity to see afresh.

[rahulrocks]

The goal is to see and understand life, understand yourself. Why do you get sad, why do you get happy, your hidden interest, the way you are living life, the way you want to live and what not.....We feel as if we have seen something clearly but then we are again back on the old routines of life. Its like we are stuck, we are stuck in this mud, this pattern of life. We want to get out of this rut, we want to have a life free of all tensions and anxieties and all failures. We want to get rid of this constant unease. I know, only i can get out of it......Why is there this unease ? Is it that its the nature of thought to suffocate.....Why we can not implement our plans..........our own nature stands up against ourselves like some wall........and then not let us reach towards what we desire. And then there is this frustration of not moving on. This sense of unease we do not understand but want to get rid off. There is also this running towards pleasures of life..........running towards more sensation. An image in the mind....and the future builds up with that image.....which the mind calls nasty. The mind wants to connect with someone new....Is not this existence too shallow....this running towards the objects of sensation........the sense of unease....the fears, pleasures and guilt. The mind then asks.....is there a way out ? Can all of it end ? The mind structures which are mechanical ..running on their own........... Can they collapse ? We are troubled by this daily torture....and we want to get rid of it. These processes are so unconscious ...you are not even aware how they are happening............Lets learn about them and understand them.......then only there can be a way out.

 

So learning implies seeing them completely.....and for that attention is need as and when these processes operate. Attending to these processes would provide understanding of them.

[rahulrocks]

Another day is passing out without much achievement. Its like when you are seeing things you have energy but the routinely activities saps energy out of you. What is an end to all of this ? The thing called Determination....i dont have a taste of it...........Its like life flowing on its course.....But then there is a fear of what might happen ? In order to sustain life one has to work. But then one finds himself in this rut again.....Unless and until there some kind of a fear or pressure one can't seem to move. But if one has to work ....any how.....then what should one do ? How to get that interest going in the middle of boredom. That sense of involvement into something seems to be missing.......and desire for continuity kills it. Not each day is same..........not each minute your mood is the same....But one is trying to find out if there is some formula where one can work out things which he is supposed to be doing. We always know the path to success but we just some how cant move towards it. So what is that magic formula where one can work............Dont say...do the work of your choice.....yes its there....but not always you will have the work of your choice........So what can push you to work...........Which leads to one question.....Can you develop interest into something you dont like ? See putting hours is not the matter....the matter is that of interest....the desire to work.....So how can one develop interest into something.....or how does one has interest of any kind at all ? What makes a certain things more interesting then the others ? In playing with a very small kid ...you dont have interest...but in playing with your collegues...you have all the interest in the world..So its not the play makes things interesting...........then what is it......Its the challenge....the desire to win.....to perform.....and it comes only when there is a certain challenge......and there are immediate awards associated with things....the awards like victory or defeat.

 

Does the learning curve of something makes it less interesting ? I think interest has also to do with excellence.....when one plays a particular short perfectly ...there is great motivation and interest. Its like a perfect expression of the self..............The desire to express yourself perfectly makes something interesting or rather makes you work. Is it that you have never embraced something fully that it does not awaken your interest.....Like you do a job..just to earn money...then how can you have interest.......when your sole purpose is what you are getting out of it..rather then the work itself then there can't be in interest in it.....We are achievement oriented people.....and not the work oriented people.....When you love something....you have interest in it and success and rewards are secondary matters.......

So can you give up all your resistances to your current work.....Can you do it for the sake of loving the work and not for money, pressure, rewards or anything....What stops you from embracing it ? Is it the spiritual search...that stops you....thinking that you would be distracted from the spiritual path...if you embrace it. Is it that you think that you are trying to embrace it because of your fears of survival...so no true embracing at all. Either you embrace the profession or you leave it completely. Thats it......because even if you fear survival...then you will probably only drag along if you cant embrace it.

 

You got to love it.....to enjoy it....................thats it...........and there are no how to's of love...........just love.

[rahulrocks]

Its thinking ..thinking and thinking........Thinking is the basic foundation of our life......and if we do not understand it...what meaning can we have in life....its like being propelled in various directions...never knowing what we are doing. I think the solutions to all our problems lies in understanding this process called thinking.

So what is thought ? How does it come ? Is intellect separate from the thought ? The mathematical, logical, reasoning ability of the brain....the ability to devise conclusions, apply formulas.....but it is still the operation of the thought. We have divided the intellect from the thought....but is it really different.......I wonder if anything like intellect exists at all.

What is understanding ? Is understanding acceptance ? Is it like dropping your resistance to a particular view of life and then embracing that ? or simply acknowledging that the other side of the coin also exists ? is understanding knowledge....or wisdom ? Is understanding ...Seeing ? What do we mean when we say we are realizing the truth of the matter ? Is understanding ..insight ?

Can we say ...understanding means perceiving....to grasp the total significance of....but does understanding happens only within the framework of knowledge....Knowledge directs the seeing......its a good plant.....will make you look the plan as a good plant....and then you further begin to understand it within the framework of knowledge. This is bit by bit understanding and can never be complete.............

Can there be an understanding which is instantaneous and complete ? or this is a foolish question.........we will have to discard the foolishness for the time being because only then we can actually see ....We can not intellect or thought or whatever into this instantaneous understanding because intellect builds upon something which is already there......and that also takes time....So intellect has to be put aside............

So can there be an instantaneous understanding ? I don't know.

[rahulrocks]

Yes we all want validation, we all want to be famous, we all want others to like us. We all want others to say ...woww.....be it our looks, our habits, our style, or clothes, our manners or anything. So should we not do the things which would get us the fame.......there is also an other perspective to cut oneself away from all these....all the validation, approval and fame seeking. But what is the basis of that persepective.......why would you not want fame ? Do you want to avoid the effort and pain if do not get it......or it is that fame is something which is a false thing and therefore should be avoided..........Looking without realizing the actual truth about fame, you can not avoid it...............you can not suppress the desire to have fame..the desire to have fame is more of a natural thing...........and if it goes away naturally then thats ok....but merely trying to curb it is of no use.