Deep thought...

[rahulrocks]

It has not gone according to what one expects. Its not in accordance with one's tradition and beliefs. Is there any right or wrong ? What is the yardstick with which one measures the right and wrong. The sin and good karma. One was thoroughly enjoying when it was being done but right after its over one begins to get frustrated. Frustated because one has not acted according to his own book of actions. One has indulged in something about which one does not approve of. But what is that according to which one judges the right or wrong. According to what has been told by others or according to how one feels after doing it. If one has a certain motive in life, certain act of becoming something then one looks through the various paths to get it and then one tries to discipline himself according to what he wants to achieve. But when he is not able to act according to that which would lead him to this goal, one gets the frustration. All the time one is defining certain code of conducts and when he is upto those he assumes that he is progressing and when he falls below them he assumes that he is declining. Its not a matter of doing what is right or wrong. Right and wrong are one's own judgement. They have been defined by an organized society to control people. There is no right or wrong, its just the deeds. One is always going to behave according to one's deep inclinations and tendencies. One is not behaving at all. it is his tendencies and inclinations that are behaving. Yet one creates a door out of the deeds, creates an identity to which one adorns further attributes of good or bad. Is there really a door ? Is there a separate static entity which is doing something, which is controlling what should be done and what should not. Or else it is just various fragments of mind trying to dominate each other at various instances and giving a false impression of a static entity. Its like at one time one tendencies fueled by thought getting one to do something and a next tendency condemning the act. All this is happening in the shadow of the knowledge and experiances, keeping in view the pleasure and the pain. So can one do anything about it ? One can't because one is the various tendencies and not separate from them. He is the sum total of all the thoughts, experiances, tendencies, inclinations, urges, emotions and what not. The deeds are the door. Its all happening by itself. Will it continue forever ? Possibility not, if awareness comes to one's rescue.

[rahulrocks]

Thank god the electricity went. It gave one a chance to close the laptop and T.V and get out of the house. It was raining, probably the first rain in a summer season. Its amazing how rain has always thrilled the humanity. There was lightening and thunder in the sky. The thunder and lightening has always produced a delight in one. He sees it all and at the time same time starts questioning to himself, 'Why it has happened' ? How it has happened. This story has been repeated and the entire humanity is repeating it again and again. Its not his story, its the story of mankind. One saw a face and then one begins to chase it. And one starts wondering why do we chase at all ? One sees something beautiful and says to himself 'wow...how beutiful is that' and then one wants to have it. One starts questioning why does one want to posses anything at all ? Is it because it has a certain value ? Is it because it would add to his status symbol ? It would increase his worth in the eyes of the others. One chase only what has a value. Why do we want to posses the house, the car or anything at all...Is it because it expands his self ? One then tries to see his relationship with the house. This is the house in which one lives, this his 'his' house. No one else can claim it, if anyone else tries to put his claim on this one then one would fight So one has expanded oneself through the house. One's self worth is determined by it. If some one else takes it away then one would be reduced, diminished and this is what one wants to avoid at all costs...He only wants to expand. But does all this ownership has any significance at all ? is it not just a mental concept. One comes back to the question of beauty. So one saw a face and then one wanted to have it. It then becomes the case of achieving something. To add to the list of his possessions. One tries out various things, burns himself in the endless process of hope and desire. And then if one has it then it starts loosing the value it had. The zeal with which one was chasing is no longer there. But if one can not have it then suddenly the value of that rises to great amounts. One wants to have what one can't have. This is a great contradiction. But this chasing and seeking is not love. It was a pursuit of pleasure. One can argue about the various feelings and emotions which one has labelled as love. But those feelings are nothing but a certain sensations a certain energy a certain delight which one gives a feeling of being alive, of excitement. Whenever there is a pursuit of pleasure, pain is inevitable. One can not separate pleasure from pain. Even if one achieves what one is chasing, the vary reason for chasing in the first place starts to wither away. Then one sees the dying of love which one had..And then one starts to chase another sensation, another face..hoping to expand itself through it, hoping to get its pleasure.

None of this is Love.

[rahulrocks]

Edited.....Views are shallow.

[rahulrocks]

So what is freedom ? what does it mean to be free ? I should be allowed to do this, I should be allowed to live the life as per my way, i should not be questioned, all this is implied in freedom. Is living a life according to one's own willingness freedom ? I like a live-in relationship and my parents do not not like it, is it freedom then to allow me to live my way. Does freedom exists in expression, they say they should be allowed to write with freedom, they should be allowed to write whatever they want. Is that what you call freedom ? Then there is freedom from anxiety, fear, depression, some emotional states which one does not want. Is getting rid of something freedom ? In all this is implied willingness and desire. I want to have this and avoid that. I have an idea about how life should be and i want no restriction to that idea. But is one ever free ? There is this continuous chattering going on all the time in the mind, is one ever free of it ? So is it freedom to be free of one's own thoughts ? But thought is required to communicate, to remember, to bring the information back in the mind. So is it freedom when one can control the thoughts ? When one can have an on/off button to them. Nothing exists without thought. One can't have anxiety or fear without thought. If somehow we can control thought then may be we become free. But who will control thoughts ? Do you ever exist without a thought ? When asking this question one should put aside all his ideas, previous knowledge and information. Otherwise one would only find out what one knows and that has not freed him. One has to start from scratch when asking the question. Interestingly when one puts such a question to oneself one is actually putting a challenge to the brain and the memory to respond and the response would always be what one already knows, the associated information with such a situation or question. Its like the memory putting a question to itself to search its database with the answer, its like search being performed again and again in the same database. The database is trying to search itself. So what is the significance of all these. The significance is that we would always respond in the same manner to similar kind of challenges as we are memory driven people. Similar kind of thoughts occupying the mind, similar kinds of feeling coming to the surface with similar events. With more knowledge and information the thoughts do get added in the memory and the responses may vary from the previous one's but the structure remains the same. Do you ever exist without thought, when one asks the question a thought comes...well the sense of I am is there. But that sense of I am is also being expressed through the thought. Can the thought be separated from the sense of I am ? Whenever there would be an answer to this question, it would again be a thought. Any form of conclusion or an answer is a thought. So what about the question of control. Who will control the thoughts then ? Anyone trying to control a thought would again be a thought and thought can not control itself.

[rahulrocks]

I guess my honeymoon period with ENA is going to be over. I dont know if i would be able to extract much time to come here from now on. Well they say everything that has a beginning has an end. I must sleep now, i have to get early.

Asta la vista.

[rahulrocks]

I have always hated D. Whenever he comes in front of me, i want to avoid him. I hate everything he says to others. Each of his jokes look so foolish to me. D is in a superior position and always want to talk through that position. His talk are always based on his position and other's position. I want him to go away as quickly as possible. I never accept dominance of any one else. I have always been in a revolt against higher authority. That's not good for the job but probably i don't care much. My actions never generate out of some sort of self concern and its hard for me to keep quite or do butter polishing of any sorts. At other levels i do want to avoid this hatred. I do not want to be like this.

So why do I hate him ? although i have mentioned some of the causes that appear on the surface but what is the root cause of hatred. Why do I hate him so much ? Is hatred a personnel thing ? If he goes away, would it mean that i would never hate another human being in my entire life ? I have hated certain people in the past. Am i trying to get rid of hatred by analysis ? How does it trigger ? I am sitting at my place and D comes. And as soon as he comes, comes back all his memories, the image that i have about D, the conflicts that i had with D and also comes a fear when a superior comes and you want to be doing which you are supposed to be doing. There is a fear that if D would see me what i am doing, he will think something else of it. We all want to look good, dont we ? We want to be respected ? And therefore we do what would get respectability. So as soon as someone is watching us, we would be doing what they think should be done....and as soon as they leave, we start doing what our mind dictates. This is the problem of current jobs, isn't it....that you work when you don't want to keeping in view appraisal, respectability, the fear of being Kicked out and all. We do not want to be questioned. If some one questions us, we get highly aggressive. How dare you question my work and therefore me ? We can't be wrong....we always want to be right and give each and every logic available on earth to protect our view. So what is it that we are protecting so dearly ? with all our efforts and might. Why we are so fragile that just a few words and emotions of somone else hurt us ? The question of hatred is also a question of hurt.....we hate those who hurt us...isn't it ? But why do we get hurt so easily ? This will inevitably lead us to ask...Who we are ? What we are made of ? What nourishes us and what causes us to rot ?

So Who am I ? I am so and so, I have done this, I had these many gf's, I have gone there and there, I own this and that, I like this, I do not like that, I want it , i do not want it....I must have this. We are our experiences, our likes and dislikes, our opinions, our relationships to various things like property and all, my ambition, what i want to achieve in future. We are basically the past. The future is also based on the past, so we can say we are our past. Our whole identity is based on past. So whatever we had in the past, is operating in the present. The present is being viewed in the shadow of the past. All the looking and listening is happening in the shadow of the past.....So Time is the root cause of hatred.

[rahulrocks]

One did not want to meet her. She was at the 6th floor, but one had to go to 7th floor to meet his friend who had an accident and just returned to work. So I went straight to 7th floor and talked various things with the friend. The canteen was on 7th floor and we decided to have tea. We were still discussing the various things like he was not being able to adjust to the work environment of the new project. I shared my experience with him about how i got the release from the project and the various things to consider.

Suddenly she appeared in front of me in the canteen. I had to say 'Hi'...she was there with one of her colleagues. The discussion with my friend was over and we decided to leave. He went out first, I had to talk to her. I said, what was there to be said, but in the end a thought came to my mind....Did i screw it ? The situation was well under control prior to meeting her, but ...I discussed that with my friend, and he said ...what you said was correct.....but still i was getting this feeling. But now i think ,,,,i was destined to say this.......otherwise why out of nowhere she would come to the canteen at the same time when i happened to be there. I generally do not go to that building....i think after a few months i went there...and that too only to see my friend. Well they call it coincidences.

[rahulrocks]

The Aunt was ill, she had a swollen hand and was a heart patient. She had diabetes and blood pressure as well. She came today. She was not feeling well, she takes sleeping pills in order to sleep. What is one to do in such a case but to resort to the Immensity, to that in which one always had faith. One refrained from faith, prayers and all such activities for almost an entire week, one started believing that any kind of faith in a certain image of Immensity would be an obstruction in seeing the reality. As when has a certain faith then one would always have experiences that would strengthen the faith. One has read somewhere that the visions that people have is in accordance with their cultural conditioning and therefore not the truth. So one has discarded all that he had, all the faith in the image of someone who was compared to Immensity in his country.

But when the Aunt came, one began to remember the image, one began to pray, because you can not do much about sickness with your analysis and awareness. To whose image one prays was that of a Nobel figure who cured people with Udi (holy ash). In the past one cured himself through udi, and saw its magical effects. Till the past one week, one had firm faith in it.

So one gave the udi to the aunt and gave her the medical pills as well. Then one began to press the feet of the aunt so that she can sleep. In the middle of all this when one was giving her a sleeping pill, she lost it somewhere and did not remember whether she took it or not. But as soon as one prayed, the pill was suddenly found by the Aunt so she was given a different pill.

The Aunt is now sleeping well and this increases one's faith in the particular image of Immensity. The Noble man himself said that either you meditate on the formless or you meditate on my form...you will have the same kind of results. The difference of the mediator, meditation and the image would cease to exist and one would become one with the Immensity.

One's faith in the noble saint and in another noble figure sometimes causes contradiction in his own system. The other noble figure discarded all sorts of faith and organized religions, and the noble saint never discarded anything but rather strenghthen the particular faith one had according to his cultural conditioning. It is perhaps fault of the one to not see unity in diversity. Probably Awareness and attention are required with a heart which is purified by surrender to the immensity.

OSR.

[rahulrocks]

The more i come here, the more the nature of contradiction is revealed. I'm doing things totally opposite of each other. What i think today is correct seems incorrect to me the next day. Purging of thought is good, but should we give more thought to the thought before purging it. I see something which i think would be useful for somebody and i post it there....but the next day i realize the stupidity of all this....I realize that this is not going to help much...That what i am doing is motivated by something evil and it is only going to produce evil and not goodness.

Why am i trying to help others ? Is it really some kind of help or it is boasting of the knowledge. It is gaining energy from others valiations or appreciations. It is gaining energy by others criticism as well, so that i can counter attack. Sometimes i think i should stop posting here. It has gotten too much into my head. Sometimes i am afraid of a possible contradictory image that i am creating. Sometimes i am talking the right things and sometime some non sense.

Sometimes i feel why i am the worst enemy of myself. Destroying my own image. Is it a reaction to something ? something like an idea that it is not so good to have your own image and the images of others.....So as a reaction i am not sesitive to what image i am creating infront of others and destroying the image. But whether you try to create a good image of a bad image...what is the difference. Creating a bad image is as bad as creating a good image. Why cant you be just yourself. But this yourself is such a complicated thing. I have a lot of ideas about what that 'Myself' is but all of it are theories.....and nothing of a clear vision. I have created theories of clear visions and living the life according to those theroires....This is why I am so contradictory...Anyone who is living his life according to the ideas of living...will be contradictory...because ideas are not a fixed thing....they can be brokend down, argued and won over. And you can never match up to an idea. Idea is not reality. Realiaty is much different than it.

[rahulrocks]

Disintegraton has set in my mind. Its as if each thought is living a life of its own independent of another. But from where does this central observer of all the thoughts come up. Is it just another thought in nature and quality or it has any substantiality. There are diffrent kinds of desires leading me to different directions tearing me apart, making me mad. I am being torn apart in these horses running in different directions. But who is the observer of all these ? who is the central point ? who is the controller ?

There is no central point. Its a huge ocene. Is it the brain of entire humanity ? All this image formation...whats the end of all this ? It has become a mechanical process...it was a mechanical process from the beginning.

All my responses, all my knowledge, all my reactions, all my feeling, all my thoughts are such mechanical things. Repeating themselves again and again...and this desire to be free of them is a part of the movment. Part of the illusion. As long as there is any desire, any thought, any sensatoin in the mind it is illusory. How we have become like this to unable to interact with the reality. This sense of disgust is also part of that river. All of it has to be discarded..Now.

[rahulrocks]

Thought has taken over my life. Its inteferring in all my relationships...everything that i have.....buddy you are not needed...why dont you just shut up.....you are required only for the technical things....only to know my way back home...only to know the langauge and communicate....

 

You have killed whatever was good on the earth that existed. You have killed the trees, the plants, the animals and myself a thousand times. You have destroyed whatever that could be good......You are still doing a lot of damage to all...You make me cry...but perhaps it is you crying. Just get lost and never come back.....let me rest in peace.

 

You have nothing to do with me or my colleague or any one else...you have nothing to do with my relatives.....Just shut up....Just shut up....Dont say i should do something about it.....just shut up. You are not required, get lost....dont keep me writing...its you again from the back door......

[rahulrocks]

Individual ???? You fool....you are not an individual....you are just a machine....a mechanical thing...happening all by itself......you are a structure...you are a self perpetuating, self repeating machine.........dont fool yourself. You have fooled yourself enough by thinking to be a christian, a hindu or a moslem....you have fooled enough by following this or that tradition. you have fooled enough be baing a man or woman....You are none of these.......why do you stick to anything at all....why do you stick to all these conclusions of yours....You think you are much smarter then the others.....forget it......You are niethger a victime nor an smart ass....you are nothing........

 

You think you relate to the society......society is an illusion...like your individuality....all the things that you have...all your identity is nothing but an illusion.....a self perpetuating machine.....You are programmed like a computer...to repeat, to follow, to immitate....and in that program you get all those pleausres and pain...........

 

You are just a bundle of images, a bundle of words, a bundle of experiences, a bundle of this or that.......just a bundle...dead meat.....dont you smell your own rottenness.......still you think you are a good healthy individual........forget it.

[rahulrocks]

You have done self condemnation...with some nasty energy in it....See the fact ...state the fact but do not condemn. A fact needs no condemnation. What needs condemnation is a non-fact.

[rahulrocks]

Seriously, why don't i change? Why don't i cease to exist ? Why do i keep coming back in the consciousness. I'm the thinker, I think. I keep coming back as a result of perception. I have always separated things. I have separated a door from a wall, a man from woman, human beings from animals, I have separated man from man. Why do i see things as separate things ? Is it to memorize? There is fragmentation. I have stored up the various forms of perceptions with a certain word and information. The next time i have that perception again there is recognition of the thing with that word and information. Now there is more information added to the current information. This is how i have been operating. The same thing is happening with people i see. I have perception and immediately i begin to categorize them into different things. I associate various words and information with them. And the next time i see them, i add more information to the already stored information. This is pretty much the structure of brain. See something, recognize and then add more information. The same thing is with different states. I recognize laziness, tiredness, happiness, sadness...the various feelings and i associate some words to them. The next time those feelings arise, i say well that is jealousy, that is anger.

I see all this at an intellectual level and sometimes in reality as well but still i continue. There are moments of glimpse of truth but on a broad level i am still the same. Whatever is thought driven will be memory driven. The memory is what you have seen, experienced..it is an abstraction of things. It is limited. one can not capture all the details of something. Details are always associated information and information according to an imaginary label attached to it. So memory would always be limited and therefore thought would always be limited. It will always be based on past. And this past is looking at the present...trying to recognize it..trying to capture it, trying to deal with it based on the past. So the action generated of thought would always be incomplete. I understand all this ...but still i continue. I know thought can never solve any problems of life. Yet it arises.. This is a thing of perhaps actually seeing rather then working on based on some theory.

[rahulrocks]

I have to prepare a dance for his marriage.. I like him a lot. He is such a nice person, he always think about others and behave. I am out of practice. I was never a born dancer. Its just the tradition of the family to perform in each others marriages. But when I am on stage, i want to rock. I always prepared hard when i had to perform in front of the public. Initially i used to have those stage fears but now i dont.

So I am someone who has to really put in a lot of efforts when i have to perform. Singing comes naturally to me. I am a born singer. But for some reason i am involved in dancing...not some reason, its somethiing that you Have to do it. But even if i have to do it, i want to do it well. All my past dance performances were really enjoyed by others. I lose some weight when i am preparing.

Earlier i used to watch Dvd's to learn the dance moves for a particular song, but now a days Youtube has made it so easier. You can just choose your steps and copy....lol. But the thing is choose the steps from something which is not very much known.

 

His marriage is near about a month or so, lets see when the preparation starts.

[rahulrocks]

Its time to get back to the work buddy. You tried everything to be free, but sustaining yourself in this world is also important. So gather your energies and start working. .....Please.

[rahulrocks]

When giving any one any kind of advices we are always speaking from a position of knowledge and experience. The knowledge and experience we have depend upon our surroundings, the challenges that we faced in life and the various influences like school, college, friends, family, religion, philosophy etc. And with this knowledge and experience we judge the situation and give a conclusion about what should be done. But a different person with different geographical boundaries and culture with different kinds of experiences would judge the same situation differently and may have a very different conclusion altogether. So there is always an approximation going on with respect to the situation. And this approximation is based on our conditioning. But is this approximation enough to meet the challenges of life ? First of all different people would have different approximations and even if you go with the majority, you still can't say that this is the best way to respond. So any kind of approximations either by ourselves or by any one else are bound to produce an incomplete action. And this incomplete actions is responsible for the side effects of the decision. Since all our actions are based on approximations, all our actions would have side effects.

So we have to totally discard this game of approximations, this speaking from a knowledge and experience, As this can not solve the problems of our life. SO what is one to do when faced with any kind of challenge in life ? The other question that pops up is can one see clearly the exact situation ? Knowledge and experience would be barriers to a clear vision of the situation. They would always interpret it based on past experiences and therefore the vision would be distorted. So clear perception is only possible if you do not bring in your knowledge and experience which is thought. But we do not know of such an action. All we know is action based on thought.

[rahulrocks]

So I have failed in the discovery, in finding that....I am still thinking in those same patterns....Yes there is light here and there but i have not found a never ending source of light. This sometimes brings frustration. So I looked up for help and help was there. It said, You are not able to see...well find out why you are not able to see....Start again...with Patience. Patience is not of this world....it is something which is beyond thought. Thought only knows Impatience...it does not know Patience......Patience does not have a factor of time in it........Patience is, dropping it and then picking up it again....Patience is again trying....Patience is getting back to the path on which one is walking.

Let it drop a thousand times.....all the help is available.....Pick up it again.

[Fudgie]

I just wanted to say that I really like what you have written here. I hope you write more. Lots of interesting thoughts and questions.

[rahulrocks]

Thanks a lot Fudgie.......How is your anxiety problem ? Are you able to get over it ?

[rahulrocks]

Does the word bring the feeling or the feeling brings the word. The feeling arises in response to certain challenge, a challenge of life...or a memory...or an idea of future....but all of it are challenges. Challenge being a situation. So a situation comes and there is the rise of the feeling. The mind recognizes that feeling and after a moment says.....' I am anxious'... the mind then digs more into the situation....the related references of the feeling and becomes more and more anxious....and this gives rise to more and more thought....and a sort of self propelling system starts. Feelings which are energies give rise to thought and thought again give rise to feelings and this continues for some time. And then there is storage of this experience in the memory. The next time a new challenge comes the experience which was stored in the memory again recognizes the feelings and again says...'I'm anxious', the same movement of thoughts and feelings starts all over again. This time this experience is added into the previous experiences of the same anxiety...increasing its weight in the consciousness.

 

Is it not too mechanical ? Is it really your personnel problem ? or its a structure of humanity. Now you are your thoughts, emotions, expressions, experiences, memories, knowledge and the whole content of your consciousness. You are your past. You are those feelings that arise in you. You are not separate from them. At the moment of anger, you are anger...and the very next moment thought comes and says..'I am angry' and thus creates a division between you and the feeling. So you start thinking i must do something about it, i must suppress, control, justify, condemn, praise, support it. All these efforts result in a waste of energy. The energy which is required for pure observation and attention. Does the mind realizes that he is not separate from the feelings. He is those feelings. And when you are those feelings...can you actually do anything about it ? You can't. Can you observe the feelings as the arise, feeling their full intensity ? Can you remain silent when the feelings arise ? Can you be comfortable with doing nothing about ? Can you cease to recognize them ? Your recognition is making way to their storage in the mind and therefore their continuation. Can you stop yourself from analysing the feelings ? Analysis is not observation..mind you. Observation is without an analyser...there is no observer...there is just the state of pure observation.....which we do not know.

So what is pure observation ? Can you look at a tree without the image of the tree...without saying that its an oak tree,,its green and so on....Can you just look at it as if you are looking at it for the first time ? Can you look at the sunset, the river, the mountains as if you are looking at them for the first time ? Can you observe your boyfriend..girlfriend...child...parents...without the images of the past ? Can you observer your own feelings without the weight of the past.......

Such an observation would end anxiety.

However if one is looking for quick fixes.........just break the chain of thought and feelings............when you feel anxiety...just get out of the door and start walking....just look at something which is natural.....change your surroundings.....break the momentum...This is why when a girlfriend is in sad mood and her boyfriend takes her to a movie....her mood gets good.

 

OSR.

[rahulrocks]

She was not happy. She complained of lack of togetherness. She said that one is not with her even when one is with her. She complained that one is not like others who share their lives, who tell her what they did in the day. In her family everyone have a good time when the come back and share their day to day activities. Everyone is happily involved in conversations. Here she has no one to talk to and I do not give her enough quality time. She wants to sleep and wake up with me, but i have my own plans with laptop or t.v. When i come to bad, i just sleep. She wants some talking. For her i have always been detached and aloof. She also thinks that with others i am quite open and discuss things but with her i am not. She somehow feels neglected and not worthy of me sharing big things with her. She advice me to invest whereas i have been slightly not too much interested or do not think about these things. I never say 'I Love you' to her. There is just care and affection. I do not feel the attraction and all and its a bit hard and does not come a natural thing to say 'I Love you'...I think i can write 'I love you' really well but saying it in proper tone is a difficult thing to me. I hardly give her any gifts or compliments..and whenever i give them they are more of a formality. In the past I have been disengaged in work as well.

Its not that I am not happy with her, I have no such complaints. Yes she sometimes gets too much in that complaining mode but i guess that's a part of being a woman. They will always complain..dont take everything too seriously..lol. So this is pretty much the problem of relationship. I do not want separation, nor she does...its a big thing here, its the lost resolve. I always believed that if you are in to something then make each and every effort to make it work, but that's my conditioning, I understand the other side of the coin as well.

 

so what to do SB ?

[rahulrocks]

Her mood was totally changed today. She probably felt that she said too much. Hmm....Yes its a new day and a different day. But does it mean that the problem is resolved. Its not a big deal on the surface. May be its not a big deal at all. But still there was a problem. What that problem is ? Is it because i do not love her ? Well that would be a wrong judgement..No one knows what love is...so how can you say that you dont love. Knowing love is loving. Love can not be known, what is known is pleasure. What is known is memories. If one says ....I loved her..one means that i have the memories of loving her...I had the pleasure..and i am trying to chase it again. So what is love ? What is the nature of love, what is its movement and how does it affect the consciousness. They say that there is the love of a mother and son, brother and sister, Guru and disciple, Husband and wife, Girlfriend and boyfriend and love of all kinds. But does love really have any kind or types ? or there is only love ? Since the beginning of humanity they are categorizing, dividing. Is that division real ? In the love which they have divided there is a sense of belonging...Like when mother hugs her child the basic feeling is 'Oh this is MY child', Is not it a sense of expansion of the self ? He is my brother and i love him ...again a sense of expansion of the self. So what you are actually trying to say is well.. i love my son because he is ME. I love my brother because he is Me ...a part of mine. Similar things are observed when a girlfriend loves his boyfriend. This is the whole point behind family and nationalism. They are all expansions of ME. But in them there is a sense of security as well, but they are more the cause of fight and destruction then security. One family against another, one nation against another. They have somehow adjusted themselves to live with each other. But the ME can not exist without the Non-Me...which is You or that. This ME is in conflict with the Non-ME. The thing which they call Love is accompanied by ossessiveness and ownership. You love someone and suddenly you start hating him. Your source of pleasure is turned into your source of pain. The feeling of expansion is turned into a feeling of reduction. The feeling that gave you so much happiness is somehow suffocating you now. But is there really a happy or a suffocating feeling ? I am skeptical about it. We might be having the feelings that vibrate at different frequency levels, but can they cause any real pain or pleasure. There are feelings that vibrate at different frequency levels. This is why we feel different in fearful and happy situations. In finding all this ..are we separating thoughts from feelings ? Is thought different from a feeling ? Thought is a recognition of the feeling. One felt in a certain way and then has stored that experience in memory...then when one has a similar feeling and one recognizes that by anxiety, fear, pleasure and all. Are feelings a disturbance in the state of being ? Are they like the waves on the surface of the ocean and thought like a wind which cause their movement..This is rather a poetic statment...lol...and that does not help much. I wonder why one gives quotations or comparisons. When something can be directly seen why give the references. This itself is an indication of non-clarity of the mind. To quote somebody means that you are not clear within yourself and that is why you are quoting somebody else.

Tea is prepared....Shall we stop right now ??

[rahulrocks]

' Welcome O wanderer who has not found the right path. Do not fear. You have indeed reached the door to emancipation.'

 

- Yoga Vasistha.

 

Never read it, but the statement enchants me...... and how about this one...

 

"Creation is what one sees and is aware of, and this is within oneself." Vasistha

[rahulrocks]

 

 

Vincent Van Gogh's chair with his pipe.

Arles: December, 1888

(London, National Gallery)

F 498, JH 1635