Well...she cheated. This <removed> sucks.

[XpandTheMind]

My girlfriend of about a year and a half admitted to cheating on me on the weekend I celebrated my birthday with friends. Sucks. It started friday. She went out with some friends, I was at work (overnight). She didn't call/text me when she was on her way home, like she always did, and I noticed she added some guy on fb around 3am. Fast forward to sunday, and she comes over. She says she's upset because she thinks I'll leave her (this is before I found out anything) and how shes insecure. Now, I know I'm not the best boyfriend. I had trust issues, and she would call me paranoid, which I may of been...till monday. I came at her, wanting answers for her suspicious behavior, and told her I wouldnt leave. She ended up telling me, she cheated when I was out with my friends celebrating my birthday. Devestated. What made it worse was, she came off like I drove her to it. She almost tried to justify it. I stick with her. Fast forward to today. I go over there after work and go to sleep. I get up we talk about fixing our relationship. She gets in the shower to get ready for work, and I go through her phone (I know...I know...) And I find out who she cheated on me with the guy she added on fb at 3am while I was at work hoping she wasn't hurt. I confronted her, and mentioned how her cheating had nothing to do with me, and how she just did it on her own with someone she didn't even know for two days. I told her we need to separate and she needs to figure out what she really wants because I'm tired of caring for someone who acts as if they couldn't care less about me. She went on about how she's sorry, and only wants to be with me, and how she doesn't want me to leave...am I handling this wrong?

[camus154]

Well, yes and no.

 

Yes in that you want to break up. No in that you're still trying to talk to her and even factor in "what she wants". Who gives a *#&$ what she wants?

 

From here on out, try to act as calmly as possible. Show as little emotion as possible. Reverse things on her. Show her that, you know, you've thought about it, and this is actually a good thing. Maybe you really haven't been as happy with her as you thought you were. Stick to your guns and be assertive about breaking up. Just do it. Don't be mean, don't drag it out. Be very logical and ok with it. Do NOT go over the details of how she cheated on you. Treat it like an afterthought, like some minor straw that broke the camel's back.

 

And then never speak to her again. Don't give her the satisfaction of knowing that this is tearing you up inside.

 

This is what I'd do. But it will be extremely hard.

[heyman22]

On your birthday? Cold. Get rid of that.

[RedDress]

This is a great post.

 

The only thing that I personally would add to that is... you should have broken up with her long ago. You knew she was shady! I wouldn't call it "trust issues". It's not a trust issue if in fact they are untrustworthy. It's "intuition". Not something you can prove but something that is there none the less.

 

I think in future you should put more weight to your intuition. All these interrogations... the snooping through her things... all completely unnecessary. Did it stop her at all?

 

I think you should start by trusting YOURSELF.

 

... but yeah... who cares what she wants? She didn't care what YOU wanted while had that guy's... ok... I don't need to say it...

[DN]

What did she say when you confronted her?

[Glowguy]

You don't have trust issues. You just wound up with an untrustworthy girlfriend. She will do it again if you take her back. There are plenty of other girls out there. You only sacrifice your self respect if you cave in here so cut the chord and find someone better. She should be dead to you now.

[Ms Darcy]

She cheated after less than two years of dating. Imagine how much she would cheat if she became your wife. Cut your losses and move on.