X and her strange ways

[Heidern]

It's been almost 8 months since our BU after a 6-year relationship (last 2 years engaged). I think it's safe to say at this point that it's impossible to get over such a strong connection in just 8 months. At first, I tried to see the break the way she wanted me to see it. It was mean to provide us both some space to work on our individual goals as she felt her life was put on hold because of me. She had lied to be about the other guy for months, yet swore to me at that point that she wasn't leaving me to be with him. Fast forward a couple of months, I'm done with her sending me mixed signals, tired of her keeping me on a string while talking to the guy that was supposed to be "just a friend." So, I did what my heart told me to do: asked her to give "us" another chance, to reconsider her decision. At that point she said she had moved on, she had no feelings for me whatsoever, and that for future reference I should not make the same mistakes again with my next girlfriend. What was my biggest mistake according to her? Not marrying her soon enough, not being decisive about us. Fair enough. I packed my * * * * and hopped on the first train to Depression Town.

 

After spending about 2 months depressed, living in my own misery and trying to move forward as best as I could, I posted a picture of a friend of mine on Facebook and wrote some nice things about her, as she has been a great friend to me as well during this whole mess. So, here's when I had my first W.T.F moment: my ex did not take this gesture kindly and started going on rants about the past, how I was bad for her, and proceeded to tell the world her happiness had a name (insert guy's name here) and for the first time made it apparent to people that she was somehow involved with him. This I found out through several friends since at that point I had unsubscribed from her updates. So apparently she had been checking up on me, trying to figure out what I was up to, and though she was involved with the new guy somehow I got her angry.

 

Fast forward another month of her posting cryptic garbage about the past and how awesome her new life is. I decide to take a month off from everything and go back to my country. I got to see my relatives, friends, and had a fantastic time. During that time, I also got to see a friend of mine whom I had talked to throughout my depression. I hadn't looked at her as girlfriend prospect, but she is pretty awesome. She's young, beautiful, and has a great future ahead of her. After a week or so of us being in contact over there, things escalated and we started dating each other. At this point my Facebook life is pretty much dead, as I didn't really have the time or need to be in front of a computer telling the world how awesome my life was. Anyway, one of her friends starts taking pictures of us together and -without me knowing about it- starts uploading them to Facebook. Mutual friends start commenting on those pictures, and as you may have guessed, this leads us to W.T.F moment #2 apparently my ex took notice of this, flipped out, and started posting pictures of her with the new guy and went public with their relationship. I heard about this once I got back from my country, weeks after all of it happened. One of my old co-workers who knew about our break-up told me that she went crazy with her Facebook posts ever since that day, and this is a guy who really tries to stay out of other people's lives (heck, he doesn't even speak her language and he could tell). Apparently she made it painfully obvious that she wasn't too happy with my new-found lifestyle.

 

So, weeks later, here I am. Not only do I have a new girl in my life, I also got a new job -something I had been struggling with for the longest time- and I'm going to be finishing off school in the upcoming months (hopefully, don't wanna jynx it). I start posting random stuff on Facebook, motivational quotes and whatnot. I also started posting things on my new girl's wall, something I hadn't really done with my ex but learned to do as I was always horrible at expressing my feelings. In the meantime, my ex had been doing this for quite some time, showing the world how awesome her life was and how happy is without me. This leads us up to W.T.F moment #3 one my girl's friends (who loves drama) informs my new girl that my ex has blocked me, then unblocked me, then blocked me again on Facebook. Now I should probably mention that this new girl was also friends with my ex, as I had taken her to my country several years ago to introduce her to my family and all of that good stuff. I remember during that time she got a bit jealous over this girl, for no reason at all. Anyway, turns out my ex blocked her as well.

 

Phew. So... What do I get out of all of this? I've learned that I should never ready look too much into these sort of things, so I'm just letting it go for all it's worth. She's with the new guy, I'm with my new girl, so that's that. What I wish I could understand is, why on Earth would she behave like this after dumping me, lying to me, and leaving me for the guy she was romantically involved with 5 months prior to our BU? She told me all the feelings were gone, that she liked this guy, why act so bitter? Had I left her for someone else, I'd probably be happy for her if she had found someone else, or at the very least feel indifferent. She's been actively trying to make me feel guilty about our BU, trying to make me feel as though as I'll never find love again. Not that it matters, but... why? She was the dumper, and if she's really past us she wouldn't behave like this.

 

Thanks, needed to vent a bit.

[sandrawg]

Because people are crazy! It's just a matter of degree...you know, you can block her from seeing your facebook, right?...

[Heidern]

I already did, I just don't understand why people need to act this way. If you dumped someone, had no feelings for that person, then at least try to be happy for the person you dumped once they start building their path to happiness.

[Divine010]

I don't understand why she even cares. This is not a competition. She sounds like she has some personal issues with moving on. Maybe she didn't expect you to move on as soon as you did.

[Heidern]

I don't understand why she even cares. This is not a competition. She sounds like she has some personal issues with moving on. Maybe she didn't expect you to move on as soon as you did.

Maybe she still considered me as a viable option for the future in case things didn't work out with the new guy. I was really passive throughout our relationship, mostly reacting to her actions and staying quiet about things that irked me, all in the name of love. I've gone from that to being active, pursuing the things I want in life, building my future while living the best I can. As time goes by, I become more and more indifferent towards her, slowly phasing out our fights and differences while keeping the good memories. She left me for this guy, so she should be happy with her decision and glad that I'm moving on as well. Apparently, though, she's still seeking validation, trying to show the world how bad I was as opposed to how good he is. Maybe it's easier for her to go with the first option.

 

Or maybe I'm just over-analyzing s.h.i.t again.