behind_these_eyes Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 Things are kind of crappy and I couldn't focus in school today, so I wrote a little. I don't consider it any of my best; its a little unorganized. any feedback would be cool. Nervous breakdown, got your way, I'm dying slowly but how's your day? My long deep breaths, Your harmful words. Into my chest They strike like swords. Just let me choke, Just watch me drown, Say it's all my fault- Now go shine your crown. I get up every morning for the ride I never thought I'd like it On the other side. I knew I'd sleep and wake again, I told myself I had a friend, But I woke up today to find I couldn't just pretend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForAnother Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 I knew I'd sleep and wake again, I told myself I had a friend, But I woke up today to find I couldn't just pretend. Awsome. Just love it. ForAnother Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
under_the_pressure Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 Best stanza; I get up every morning for the ride I never thought I'd like it On the other side. I knew I'd sleep and wake again, I told myself I had a friend, But I woke up today to find I couldn't just pretend. What ForAnother said. I really like this poem. Keep writing. under* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i_hate_the_world47 Posted September 28, 2004 Share Posted September 28, 2004 nice poem.It was very well written.Good job. ~meagan~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunther Posted September 29, 2004 Share Posted September 29, 2004 nice poem, kudos Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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